Husband weird search history

[Picklingpickles]

My husband has been away for work for a while.

We were fighting alot whilst he was away for various reasons. He was saying I was making him extremely upset, he developed depression, wasn't taking care of himself because of me and our arguments. He felt he was losing me apparently.

when he came back he was extremely distant and differnt with me. This was a few weeks ago. Hes being much more normal with me now and it feels like we're getting more back to normal.

But...when he came home and was acting so strangely I had a little snoop on his iPad. I don't know his phone code so can't check that. It didn't have much on it but it had some of his search history.

I didn't find much but I found a couple of weird things:

A search for "how to say I love you in arabic"
A search for "gorgeous meaning"

He is English...

I asked him about the I love you and he told me he'd sent it to his friend from work who speaks Arabic. I said that's weird. He said they always say I love you..just as banter or something. He said he can show me the message.
I said yes please. He couldn't find it. He tells me he must have thought he sent it but didn't in the end.

I have no other information. He's got locks on everything and I can't check.

I did ask to see his phone in anger and he did pass it to me. I then felt awkward and gave it back.

What are you thinking?
What would you do, if anything?
Do you think this is something?
What is it?!

When he was away was he in an Arabic speaking country?

Unfortunately, with infidelity, that is often the case.

Arguably his behaviour and accusations/criticisms are enough to end a relationship over, without even getting solid evidence around these dodgy web searches.

From what you're saying, it is absolutely obvious he is lying. None of it adds up at all. If he was being honest, it would.
He's speaking or has spoken to another woman, told her he loves her and is now trying to hide his tracks.
He's deleted messages and unsynced his iPad because he has something to hide. If he was telling the truth, he'd likely not do that as he'd be desperately trying to prove his innocence.

I literally just googled again. I searched "what is the most spoken language in (enter country)"
Arabic is the sole language in country

So he's full of shit

Told me no one actually speaks it there.

Yes I've not been, but why would it be the sole language if no one speaks it.

And I'm sure it isn't innocent.

OP you need to do some more digging. But there'll be an OW somewhere in the woodwork.

He claims it's not.

Google says it is.

🤔

Apologies this has been asked and answered

What country

Yes.
Made a point to tell me they don't speak it there.
He said it is used but no one really speaks it.

You can message me if you like. I live in an Arabic speaking country

He thinks I can't Google stuff
Or thinks I would believe he knows better than Google

I've pmd you

Him bizarrely lying about the main language or one of the main languages of the country he was in ... Is extremely suspicious.

Why would he do that, other than trying to convince you that his searches for Arabic translations of "I love you" etc. were not for a conversation with a local.

Yeah, they were for banter with a another man, even though he's not done that before and can't show you the message he wrote that banter in.

More BS than a beef ranch.

When I first questioned him about this, he came back that day after work and said he was talking to his friend about how I was worried he was cheating. He made a point to tell me this friend had specifically said "but they don't even speak arabic there"

This friend also wasn't there with him on this deployment so how would he know anyway.

Looks like he was saying stuff to stop me being suspicious.

Op, sorry to say this but;

A. His behaviour
B. The cheater script coming out of his mouth
C. The bizarre lies about locals not speaking Arabic in the country he was in, combined with the fact that;
D He's been looking for translation of romantic phrases into Arabic
E He's looked up a definition of an English word, that you would never need to explain to an English speaking person
F The reputation of men in the military for infidelity while away
G The fact that the message he did this homoerotic banter to his male colleague - which he's not inclined to - is missing and can't be found. Why would he delete something meaningless from his messages?

All make me think he's had an affair or similar.

Sometimes you don't get hard evidence.

Especially if you've got no access to accounts and the person is fairly careful.

I want to dig but I don't know how.

Another thing that's weird is I always knew his pass code. Never used it but I knew it.

He told me he'd added facial recognition aswell as a code when he was away for security.

I've never used facial recognition but I assume you'd have to hold it to your face yes?

He's never done this. He just pops a code in when he unlocks him. I've seen it.

I said that and said he uses both.

This is actually very suspicious aswell.

I I honestly have no idea how I'd find out anymore

I know.
It all looks so bad.
Is it enough?
I need that evidence.
Or do I. He's been shady. I don't want to be with a shady guy.
But I just wish I had something stronger and concrete. It would help me

The reason he's googled gorgeous meaning, I assume is because he's called an Arabic lady gorgeous and she didn't know what it meant, and he's sent a screen shot of the meaning to her?

*He told me he'd added facial recognition aswell as a code when he was away for security.

I've never used facial recognition but I assume you'd have to hold it to your face yes?

He's never done this. He just pops a code in when he unlocks him. I've seen it.*

I'd add that to my list of circumstantial evidence that he has or is cheating.

He knows you might know his pass code. He decided to make it impossible for you to get access to his device/s - for some reason - while away.

This was my thought exactly and I can't think of any other possible explanation.

He doesn't use that word though. He's never called me gorgeous. He says beautiful.

Doesn't mean a thing at all, he could totally use it for someone else.

I can't see any other explanation

His behaviour (aside from the searches etc. suggesting he's cheated) is not exactly good anyway though, is it?

Then the searches etc. look v suggestive of cheating. It's totally understandable to want "hard" evidence but unfortunately, often you don't get that.

What are your ties to this relationship, do you share kids? Are you co owners of property?

What is innocent about this 😂

Even his excuse is terrible. It would have made more sense to say he was watching something on Netflix and was confused about a subtitle because it didn't seem to fit with the plot or something.

Yes this is true.

We have kids but live in military housing so no ties to anything else.

Because it's a joke? I am assuming the friend is male? If so, then I can definitely imagine a scenario where your dh might have banter with his Arabic-speaking friend where dh had to google I love you in Arabic as a joke.

Sorry, I have not rtft. If the friend is male...ignore my post and LTB.

To get evidence tell him your phone is upstairs/out of charge. Have his phone inyour hand and ask for his pin to look something up, then once you have the PIN number give phone back to him and say I don't need to look it up. But you will then know his pin number and check when he's in the shower etc. if he changes it you know something is off