Husband weird search history

[Picklingpickles]

My husband has been away for work for a while.

We were fighting alot whilst he was away for various reasons. He was saying I was making him extremely upset, he developed depression, wasn't taking care of himself because of me and our arguments. He felt he was losing me apparently.

when he came back he was extremely distant and differnt with me. This was a few weeks ago. Hes being much more normal with me now and it feels like we're getting more back to normal.

But...when he came home and was acting so strangely I had a little snoop on his iPad. I don't know his phone code so can't check that. It didn't have much on it but it had some of his search history.

I didn't find much but I found a couple of weird things:

A search for "how to say I love you in arabic"
A search for "gorgeous meaning"

He is English...

I asked him about the I love you and he told me he'd sent it to his friend from work who speaks Arabic. I said that's weird. He said they always say I love you..just as banter or something. He said he can show me the message.
I said yes please. He couldn't find it. He tells me he must have thought he sent it but didn't in the end.

I have no other information. He's got locks on everything and I can't check.

I did ask to see his phone in anger and he did pass it to me. I then felt awkward and gave it back.

What are you thinking?
What would you do, if anything?
Do you think this is something?
What is it?!

This poster is mostly right and no nonsense.

I might be a bit slow this evening, but what is with the Arabic?

Well he was working away somewhere where they do speak Arabic.
He told me they dont really speak it there. I googled it and they do
Which is why I suspected he'd met someone there.

I mean we're married with children so I would rather have proper proof before ending things.

I could just trust him and move on which I actually have been doing for weeks now.
It's niggling at me and wondered what others thought.

If they message all the time saying I love you, why would he need to google how to say it?

From an outside pov this situation looks like a man don't something he shouldn't. Sorry OP, shit situation to find yourself in and I hope for you that we are all wrong.

Wouldn't hurt to get your ducks in a row xx

But if it’s nothing, you wouldn’t feel the need to be on here! There must be something that doesn’t gel with you

Also, if my DH was saying I love you to a work mate - even just once I would have a massive issue with it. Nobody says I love you as banter.

It's the fact he couldn't show me that message to his friend. He literally said "I sent that to chris, I can show you the message".
Then when I asked to see, conveniently he had never sent it after all.

Why go to all the trouble of goggling how to say it..then thinking youve sent it. But never did. Makes no sense.

If I'd seen that message this would all gave gone away immediately but he couldn't. Just seems very convenient

The gorgeous thing was bizarre too.

Not true at all. If I found out my partner was snooping on my phone after a period of me being unusually distant and us arguing, I'd probably laugh, call him silly and apologise for being distant. I'd totally understand why they'd search.

Only guilty people will be majorly offended. Different if all was well, but arguing and being very distant are classic signs.

I agree with this.

Guilty people always get angry and defensive to try and deflect away from their own wrongdoings.

LOL

I know you're mocking that post but none of this is funny to me.

I'm sorry, OP, but I think you're right to be suspicious.

He's having an affair, emotional or physical.
Tell him you don't trust him anymore and see what he says.

His lies and explanations don't make any sense at all.

And that always means there is something more going on behind the scenes.

Don't let him treat you like an idiot.

They don't do they.
I did believe him but it really makes no sense.
I don't know what to do

How often does he 'work away'? Working away is really a recipe for disaster. Never get with someone who 'works away', and if they have to start doing that, I'd demand they'd change jobs. Nothing ever, ever good comes from someone working away. He picked a fight with you to justify his affair. That's quite obvious. It's part of the script. I'd sneak a look at his phone when he's asleep, and/or laptops. And I say shut it, to those who want to make you feel guilty for looking. I've always believed each other should be able to use each others phones etc anyway, but when your husband 'works away' and starts fights when he's away and googles romantic terms, then hides things, you damn well have the right to look. Don't ever let any of the coolgirls on here make you feel guilty for doing what you have a right to do as a wife/life partner.

Don't do anything rash, because you have no definite proof.

I would sit tight, but give some consideration to what you would want to do if it turned out to be true.

Is it forgivable or is it the end. If it would be the end, then how do you see your life panning out afterwards.

It's an awful position to be in.

I'd would work along the lines of:

I don't believe you.

Don't insult me with made up lies.

You have one chance now to tell me the whole truth, and this is your only chance to save the marriage.

Thank you.

I can't check because I don't have the code to his phone.

I could ask him what it is and see if he tells me I guess..

He definitely is working when he's away. He's in the forces so it's always been part of it. It's never worried me before..

If he's even speaking to someone I'd be done. I have zero tolerance for any of that nonsense.
Especially telling someone he loves them if that's what he's done. I'd be gone straight away.
I just don't know how I can find out more though without his phone or anything.

My Google search history is bizarre. I can totally see myself googling the meaning of gorgeous to see the etymology or googling I love you in Arabic to send to a mate (I assume they usually say it in English as banter but as they were working in an Arabic speaking country he wanted to mix up the banter?). Bet then my partner knows I'm like that so wouldn't be suspicious. You know your partner and if he googles random shit like I do! Trust your gut if you think he's acting out of character.

Is he away in the Middle East op? Working in oil / gas?

Trust your gut…

Haha
I've never looked at his search history before so I have no idea if he googles weird stuff or not!
Arrgh I hate this. I don't know what I think or feel but I don't like it.
And he said he'd sent that message but he didn't. That's just weird
I know it's possible. But it is weird

No