Summer students disrespectful of my home.

[CleanCityBird]

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

I haven't got the money vibe from the histrionic posts from the op, no 😂

Would you let your children do the same to you treat your house like a shit hole or give away your food after asking them what they wanted. I wasn't brought up with silver spoon in my mouth or thought I was entitled.

No. But that's not what the majority of posters thinking wtf have posted about ...
Or to coin a threadfamous phrase....'wrong wrong wrong' 😂

That’s really none of your business. As someone who used to arrange homestays and was an exchange student myself, I’ve not come across a family who would care about that. It’s very controlling of you. As for the rotting food, speak to the coordinator to chat to them on your behalf.

My friends and I swapped lunches at school all the time. My best friend was Indian and we preferred each other’s food! Our mothers didn’t mind at all.

It's not controlling this word is losing its meaning and it is her business because it coming out of her pocket not yours. The op is going out and buying food that she thought they would like. Instead of communicating with the op what they would like to eat they would rather be secret squirrel's and hide food in their room to eat. They are 15 year old girls the immaturity is there and she should speak to them about it. It's all part of life's lessons to learn on how not to take the piss.

Clearly none. Quite worrying really. This woman is clearly unhinged and about to rip into a couple of 15 year old girls over a mouldy sandwich !!!!!!!

I think you're being too rigid. You think your food is fabulous maybe they don't and they're too polite to say something. Just remind them to put all food waste into the bin. Job done!

Sure you did!

A bit dramatic have you never had teenagers?

But how do you know they are other people's packed lunch? Couldn't they just be buying food from the shop like normal teenagers?

How do you know they are giving away food? They might just be hungry and bought a snack from the shop like teens up and down the country do every day.

I wouldn't have a problem with them bringing in food. Maybe they went to a shop? And if they did some lunch swapping, so what?

I would remind them about getting rid of the waste though.

I agree, no point rocking the boat when there's so little time left before they go. Also they may well be used to different food and not actually like yours, regardless of how wonderful you might think it is.

Why are so many mumsnetters batshit? OP has posted about a perfectly reasonable concern, asking for advice on how to respond to the issue, and people have decided that she’s some kind of insane prison warden depriving teenagers of food.

It is perfectly reasonable to have a word with 15 year olds about not leaving rotting food in their rooms and it is also perfectly reasonable to say ‘is everything ok with the lunches I’m making? If there are things you would prefer just let me know’.

Some of you need to calm the fuck down and stop being so rude and antagonistic.

Does that entitle them to treat the house like it's a shit hole?

Presumably you are being paid a fee to host them? Make it clear where the bin is with instructions in their language. They are thoughtless teens for sure possibly first time away from home.

Leave the food where you found it. When they come back just beckon them over to it, point to it and give them a look. That should be enough. If it's not show them the bin and tell them please use it!
The fact they ate their own snacks from outside is hardly disrespectful. You don't expect them to solely eat from your home. It's more polite they buy their own snacks really, I'd have thought.
I don't think you should start reading them the riot act or anything.
But maybe tell them to do own laundry and clean bathroom. If you guide them through where the cleaning stuff is and how to do it briefly.

How is it about money, nothing has mentioned that only you.

Nothing says they have cost OP any money, I'm guessing you are 'assuming' the cost of wasted food but the food found is their own not OPs food. Nothing says anything OP paid for is 'wasted'.

OP was mad they have got other food somewhere else but she is also only feeding them breakfast and 2 packed lunches, it sounds like she not providing enough for most growing teens.

I haven't had packed lunches since primary school but it was always pretty normal people swapping things... its only been cut down on recently due to allergy/dietry requirement control.

These are teens not little kids though. Fully capable of knowing if they are allergic to nuts or gluten etc...

People are paid to host exchange students. That money is literally for their care not 'her money' so no stop banging on about money.

Op I've had lots or host students and my own dc.

Don't make a huge massive deal just say " I cleaned your broom today and found a rotten sandwich, there aren't bins in your room please use them"
End of.
Z
Then simply say also your swapping food is there anything else I can get you

All my students swap food occasionally as do my own dc!!

Have you actually read all of OP's posts? They are truly batshit themselves.

I disagree. The OP’s initial post was entirely normal, people responded in an insane, accusatory and hostile manner and OP was understandably ruffled in some of her responses.

I see this all the time on MN; people invent the most outrageous, far fetched and negative interpretation of the OP, post something provocative and hostile on the basis of that interpretation, and then blame the OP for getting riled up in response to their nonsense. It’s a weird mumsnet phenomenon and I think anyone who is sensible and remotely empathetic should call it out when it happens.