Summer students disrespectful of my home.

[CleanCityBird]

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

When I was 15/16 I lived with another family for a year. There were 3 nice meals a day ( except on school days obviously when there were 2, but I was hungry all the time. They were lovely, but very controlling over food, the kitchen fridge was a no go area for me. I had to buy food outside the home to be able to cope. Teenagers are ravenous, I have two, they fridge raid. I’d say those girls’ behaviour is totally within normal teenage bounds.

Maybe they are still hungry after eating your fabulous cooking. Those poor children!

Clearly not everyone shares this opinion.

Mickey will come and visit them soon. They can have new pets.

Sounds like normal teen behaviour to me. What's the issue with them having food you haven't provided?

You are within your right to ask them to tidy and keep things clean. But it may fall on deaf ears, like it would if it was your own teen.

Yabvu their teenagers and you sound uptight maybe hosting isn't for you

I really don’t understand posters like you. You came here to ask advice you have been given reasonable advice & just bite back with each comment.
In my opinion just ask them to use bins & ask if there is anything specific foods they would prefer you to prepare.
Drama over & let’s not pretend you are doing this out of the kindness of your heart, either empty nest syndrome &/or getting paid.
Please listen to the majority.

What kind of vetting process did you go through to be approved as a host?

I would just ask about their day and then be honest and say I found a lot of rotting food in their room. I know they are 15 but I would just explain it’s smells, attracts insects, will mark furniture/carpets etc.

Tell them the house rules are that from now on food is only to be eaten / stored in the kitchen / dining room etc and no food is to be left out. They can have food from elsewhere in your kitchen, no problem. Not ideal but with only a week left and the girls being really young and otherwise great guests, I wouldn’t create bad feeling about this.

Mickey mouse probably did the vetting.

How exactly am I been ‘arsey’? I haven’t even talked to them.
I ASKED here to make sure I WOULDNT be arsey.
If my kids left uneaten rottino food in their room Id lift them.
These are NOT my kids & I respect they are away from home, on a holiday, in a foreign country & the LAST thing I wanted to do was upset them.
So I came on here to
1: express my annoyance (when you go above & beyond to take care of them it’s annoying when they don’t respect our house because I guarantee if they did that at home in France their parents would be furious)😡.
2: Ask for input as to how best to approach it.
Instead of reasonable replies I get a raft of people saying things like I’m restricting their food, being a control freak, over reacting. ALL Ludicrous.
I don’t see it as a problem just a situation that needs sensitive handling. That seems like a measured response to me.

The only over reaction is yours. You don’t understand wit if you think my post about fabulous food was serious. Read it. It was tongue in cheek.
now go read my long form response to all of you that come on here & get your kicks by criticising because you RUIN the experience for the rest of us.
what a load of tosh. If this is the best input you have don’t bother.

I am NOT upset about my food!!!! I’ve said that a hundred times.
When they come home in the evening we talk about breakfast lunch and dinner for the next day.
We decide together. I give them some options and they tell me what they like and that’s what I buy. They are very involved in what they eat.
I change it up all the time so it’s not boring.
everything has to be packed, even dinner, so it has to be food that can withstand being out of a fridge for most of the day and tolerate been reheated.
im not bloody trying to impress them. I simply want them to be well fed, enjoy their meals, so they are nourished and happy.
The reason I mentioned they had other people packed lunches in the bedroom that was uneaten, was because I didn’t understand why, and asked if anyone else had experience of it. It was NOT because I was offended. Quite the opposite.
some Mums have commented with really good advice, helped me decide how to handle it, and they have been brilliant helpful.
Then there is the likes of fedupwithbeingcold who read into it I was attempting to impress 15 yr olds with cordon blue. How do people reach these conclusions?
So thanks to the mums who have sensible measured advice, who didn’t read into it I was a rabid control freak, frantically trying to master French cuisine, & that I was crossing boundaries by hoovering the room of 15 yr old kids. You know who you are.

What’s the obsession with describing everyone as “mums”?

I presume these rants are alcohol-fuelled.
Either way you do not sound an appropriate adult to be hosting 15-year-olds.

I don’t drink and you are not an appropriate adult to have access to the internet.

I don’t understand your last comment?

These teens are at a tricky age. They almost look like adults and in some respects want to be treated as such. However, in some ways, they can act like overgrown toddlers and others, they can be quite responsible. I agree with the breezy responses asking them to use bins etc.

I don’t have any issues. I’m simply pointing out that a) not everyone here is a mother and b) no one owes you a particular answer just because they’re a parent.

I’d be incredibly embarrassed if my children left a host’s room with leftover food. Rotting or not. I’d be embarrassed if they left the room in a state where their host had to tidy it. I’m not sure why people are piling on the OP, notwithstanding that it’s a kind of sport in here.

I meant why are you being so arsey with us? But i can see by your later replies to others that you just want a fight and think you are being funny or clever. I feel sorry for those poor kids now.

I think the thing here is that they are French.

They are not going to tell you they don't like the food, or that they have swapped food.

I had a French girl stay with me and I cooked traditional English food, I said leave anything you don't like and I was told that not finishing the food was disrespectful to the 'cooker' as she called me.

Just tell them to bin any food they have not eaten, that you don't mind them bringing food into the house but that you do mind them hiding things in their room(s).

I'd also add a few snacks they can eat later, some French people don't eat until gone 9pm.

You're massively overstepping.

Don't go on in their rooms! You can lightly tell them not to leave food in there, bit otherwise give them clean sheets and leave them to it. FFS give them some privacy.

They're not going to tell you they don't like the food because they're 15 and they don't have that kind of confidence. They see it as only being 3 weeks of putting up with it. No teenager is going to tell someone they don't know well they don't like the food.

And instead of getting arsey with replies, I think you should maybe take a look at your first post - it does sound unhinged.

you nailed it!

What a load of nonsense, buy fancy French pastries? I don't think so. They fit into your life not the other way round.
A reminder to use a bin is all that is required here .