Summer students disrespectful of my home.

[CleanCityBird]

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

What am I reading, telling folks they are an awful bunch for putting you right whilst you start a thread about these girls and calling them disrespectful

yes they shouldn’t leave food out , tell them that, but they can eat what the fuck they please.

‘Si vous voudriez manger, mangez dans la cuisine ou la salle à manger, s’il vous plaît’. Nous ne voudrions pas encourager les insectes ou les souris!’

Edited because 👺 doesn’t understand accents.

I would talk to whoever their leader/student liaison is, about both the swapped food and norms for room cleaning. My SIL hosted summer language students for about 20 years, and is still in touch with some of them, years on, and I’m pretty sure they had to bring out their laundry for her to do, and she cleaned their room, changed bedlinen etc, weekly.

(For the last few years, though, she’s only accommodated the adult group leaders, who need less input — leaving aside homesickness, communication about food, cleaning etc , she had to deal with 14/15 year olds getting drunk and, on one or two occasions, being caught shoplifting. It got a bit much.)

The gentle name of this site, Mumsnet, infers this is a supportive community. It’s the complete opposite and you’re contributing to it.

On the irony. Mumsnet has talk guidelines. You have had a comment removed for breaking them. On a thread where everyone else managed to converse without needing a moderator to intervene. That's your contribution.

(Not this thread, before you start a full caps rebuttal.)

ETA: Oops! Also on this thread. Perhaps refresh your understanding of the Talk Guidelines

The irony! Mums are supposed to give you a right telling off if you do something wrong. 'Gentle' wtf

It really has lost its meaning. My aunt worked with children and offered respite for short periods in her home. She was paid and I guarantee you nothing went to waste. They didn't have secret stashes of rotten food around the house or other people's food that's nasty. The girls sound greedy and entitled they are struggling to eat it all. Who leaves rotten food around their living space unless their nasty.

😉

How are they greedy when they are telling the OP she is giving them too much food? They are asking her to stop giving them all her 'fabulous' food. My guess is they're not keen on the food but are trying to be polite and asking her to give them less. Maybe other teens aren't keen on the food either and hence trying to palm it off on each other!! It's probably very different food than they are used to. Compare UK school meals to French school meals!

I cannot believe you think going into their rooms is somthing you should do.

I have two spanish students. I leave their rooms alone as they are as entitled to their privacy as my own teen kids. It is,in my case, for a month. I wil deal with the room then. I am here to provide food and shelter not be in ther rooms.

I think sometimes a standard pack lunch everyday is constricting when you are in a foreign country - sometimes teens want to try other things.

I remember our exchange student telling us not to bother with the pack lunch one day as he and some friends were going out at lunchtime to try the famous Swedish "doner kebab and fries" pizza. He seemed worried that I would be offended whereas I was fine - one less job to do.

Have you ever hosted foreign students ?

Yes.
Have you? Why do you ask?

Yes I have, I just don't care about the squabbles on here.

Making packed lunches was a waste of time, they binned them. If young people are in my home, I think its reasonable to do a quick clean and check of the rooms.

I used to have Japanese students (had them for 6 years) and found them to be unfailingly polite, they ate everything they were given (but I only have small portions of proper home cooked food and then offered seconds) and kept their room tidy. The only issue I had was with the amount of time they spent in the bathroom, as we only had one bathroom at the time. I have heard that European and American students are less likely to be polite, more likely to be entitled etc. that is a generalisation but is what put me off.

I think it is important to set out house rules or expectations at the beginning of their stay - obviously it is a little late for you to do that now, but I think you should tell them that you are going to change their sheets/clean their room tomorrow and ask them to make sure that all rubbish is in the bin, laundry is in a pile/in the laundry bin ready for you to take away, and all personal belongings put away beforehand to enable you to do that. Then you can point out that if they put their rubbish in their bin and put the bin outside their room every day/when it is full, and same with their laundry, you can deal with it as you go.

You could just nicely ask if they would prefer different things in their packed lunch.

Food waste in bedroom is a flat no for me because of damn fruit flies! In this heat?? Its a recipe for disaster. All food waste goes in an outside bin.

@eggplant16

You are a liar, trying to backtrack now that you've been rightly piled on.
Are you this inflammatory irl?

Sorry? I never said those things?