Summer students disrespectful of my home.

[CleanCityBird]

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

Why is them having food from somewhere else an issue?

I get why rotting food is a problem. Do pull them up on that.

But don’t make a fuss about them having food from elsewhere, that’s totally fine for them to do.

They may be buying food elsewhere, or getting food on their course, and not finishing it.

Failing to bin it properly is a fairly minor thing- just show them where the food waste goes.

Someone else's food is standard.

They may have been given a packed lunch on a trip or bought food to have in.

You just need to show them where to put it.

I put a biggish bin in each room and pointed it out to them.

Tbf i wouldn't make a big deal of it, 15 year old kids can be thoughtless... i would mention to them to put food and rubbish in the bins and then leave it at that. Also agree with pps that them having food from elsewhere isn't an issue.

It’s other peoples packed lunches. If they swapping because they don’t like the lunch I provide, it would be better if I knew and change it up.

They have a big bin in their room & bathroom.

It's 3 weeks. Just suck it up and learn next time either not to host or lay clearer ground rules.

Don't have a go about them eating other food .maybe they hate your food and are starving!

I definitely will not suck it up. Wrong wrong wrong. Terrible advice.
My food is fabulouso. Absolutely fabulous.

I would just remind them to bin the food.

I see no issue with them bringing in other food? That sounds like a control issue on your end.

Just remind them where to throw away any unwanted/uneaten food. I definitely wouldn't say anything to them about food from elsewhere. Surely that is their choice? Though perhaps it indicates that they don't particularly care for what you are providing. You may think you cook "absolutely fabulous" food, but they might not. So I would broach the subject of their preferences, but just as a general topic, not in an accusatory way.

They’re 15 - they probably don’t know how to tell a stranger the don’t like the food and anyway, you shouldn’t have been in their private space - your house or not!

So you are more upset that they might not like your food? What sort of food do you make?

You are massively overreacting to a bit of mess. They sound lovely just ask them to bring rubbish firm to the bin.

Just gently mention to them to bin leftovers because rotting food will attract mice or insects.
As for someone else's food - like from outside, or from your fridge that was reserved for your other family members?

Just ask that they dispose of food items properly. Forget the issue with the fact the food is not food you recognise/provided. Nowt to do with you. They should absolutely put it in the bin though

Utter tosh. It's the OPs own house, and OP has every right to go into "their" room. Especially when it's a matter of something like rotting food waste which causes smells and potentially flies/rodents etc.

YABU - they definitely need showing/telling where the bins are but a) why are you in their rooms and b) why does it matter where the food is from?

Is this your first time hosting students of this age?

What a ridiculous overreaction! You might think you food is fabulous but they clearly prefer other kind of food. Who are you trying to impress? They are 15 year old French students, not some judges in a cooking competition

Wind up merchant

As others have said, mention about throwing food away properly, but don't mention about bringing other food in! I'm a grown woman and I don't think I would be able to tell you I don't like your lunch in their position! I would do the same - try and swap

I had Nigerian students.

They hated my food - well, most of it anyway. English food they found far too bland and unpleasant.

I cooked curries and they taught me how to cook some Nigerian food. I bloody love a fried plantain now.

I like to think I'm a good cook - I've travelled quite a lot and done cooking courses in places as far flung as Marrakech and Laos.

Food really is a matter of taste.

They are allowed to eat whatever food they choose.

the only issue you can address is proper disposal of refuse.

It is a problem with some teenagers. I am constantly nagging my 15yo to get trash out of her room. She has ASD and likes to eat in private. She also struggles with certain executive function issues. She is exactly the kind of child who does things like go on language exchanges, high achieving and well behaved. I’ve seen the other students in her groups. Many of them are just like her.

all you need to do is a one sentence reminder that trash, especially food waste, needs to go in the bin. Then stop or you are the one who will be disrespectful.

Also they may just be enjoying the freedom of being able to go to a shop and buy what they like of “foreign” food. I really wouldn’t make a big deal about that (however fabulous your packed lunches are). Note that if the entire contents of the packed lunches aren’t in the room then chances are that they are that first

I was a summer student myself, don’t take it personally but they probably don’t like your food, it’s probably something they’re not used to.

I had two Italian girls with me and they really struggled with simple things like baked beans on toast, none of us had ever eaten it before.

but, oh the joy of discovering Wimpy! 😂