Summer students disrespectful of my home.

[CleanCityBird]

Hi everyone,
ive 2 students staying with me, both 15 from France. They’re doing a 3 week language course.
Cleaning their room I found old stale sandwiches, partially rotted, yogurts, pastries. The thing is, apart from the yogurt. This isn’t the food I’ve prepared for them.Its someone else’s.
they’ve been here 2 weeks now, & all in all, they’re great kids. Up & out in the morning ( one has said she’s sick 2 out of 10days tho). They’re polite, sweet Girls.

Im annoyed that they left food to rot, it can cause all sort of problems. Im annoyed they have someone else’s food, and im annoyed because it’s disrespectful to my home.
I’ve cut them some slack because they are so young, taking more of a caring role, doing their laundry, cleaning their bathroom.
they’ll be home around 9ish tonight & I have to have a word with them.
i don’t want to upset them but I do want to get the message across that it’s not on.
I’m so annoyed I’m afraid I will over react with them. Any guidance from seasoned student host Mums might have would be greatly appreciated! ❤️

@Cherrysoup You treat them like your own kids

The OP sounds completely non maternal and the relationship between her and the teenagers staying with her doesn’t sound very remotely like a parental figure. She’s annoyed they’re sourcing any of their own food for god sake! Talk about controlling.

They are 15. Remind them to put the food in the bin. You being ott to worry about outside food. They in a foreign country alone young.

I’m not talking about that, tho, am I? I’m talking about a poster saying she’s disrespecting their privacy, whereas I think she’s well within her rights to go in and clean a room in her own house. Leaving rotten food, especially with the predicted heat for the next few days, is likely to damage paintwork if dropped against a wall/on a carpet.

Just remind them where to bin it. We have food waste bins here so I’d be making it very clear I expect anything to be in there and plates etc in the dishwasher

You don’t sound very approachable to be honest if you’re getting this offended that someone might not like your food and be swapping it.

i think youre reasonable to not want rotting food in the room and to say something.

I think you’re being unreasonable with your reaction to it eg worried you can’t control your anger about it when discussing it. Why are you so reactive to it? Nothing bad has actually happened. They haven’t done it as a personal slight.
just show them putting it in the bin and check their room more often.

Then think about whether you want to open your home to strangers again if you’re going to get this cross/upset about different standards.

You sound utterly unsuited to the role.

Not wanting them to bring in other food is bang out of order. They can eat what they want unless they are stealing it. Not wanting them to leave uneaten food rotting in their room is reasonable, have a word with them about disposing of food properly if they need to do so.

It looks like she is more upset about that they may not like her "absolutely fabulous" food.

They're 15. It's three weeks and you're being paid. I don't think hosting is for you. As for your food being fabulous??

We've hosted for years, they ALWAYS swap lunches (and spend all day in Mcdo) their parents also frequently send them with enough food to last the whole trip which they leave in their bag til the last day when they find it and chuck it as it's gone funny.

My mother an a language school and host family network when I was a child:teenager. And had 1200+ teenagers staying with host families for the summer. Food being hidden was a common occurrence. Show them where they can put rubbish, tell them that it’s important no food is taken to the bedroom. That they can throw anything they don’t want away in the bin in the kitchen.

I went on a French exchange when I was about that age. I was incredibly homesick and gradually, as the time passed, I found the unfamiliar food more and more difficult to eat. I’d probably love it now, but I can remember being delighted when the mum cooked a beef joint, only to feel ill again when I saw it was nearly raw in the middle, after a lifetime of well-done beef.

So I can completely understand them getting other stuff in, either from a shop or swapping with friends. French home cooked food is still probably quite different, so even if you’re a great cook, they may simply feel overwhelmed.

I thought it was funny.

I feel sorry that you typed up this ridiculous post. Have you treated someone's home or holiday cottage or hotel room like it's a dustbin?

I think you need reflect

It's the sort of thoughtless thing you do when you are 15 and then look back on in mild horror when you are an adult. Gently point out where the food waste goes, you say that they are nice girls so in the scheme of things it is not terrible

Teddybearspicnic You are just as bonkers as the op. A pair of 15 yr olds and a sandwich !!!! Jesus

Exactly. I really couldn’t get worked up over this.

Lord help you if they were boys - you would have found more than a yogurt pot under the bed!

Gosh, @CleanCityBird - you're getting a hard time here. I live in a small seaside town with a language school for teenagers and all I can say is that you're a braver woman than I am. From observation, they all go out for lunch (usually to the chippie/pizzeria) and very probably take the leftovers "home". You just need to tell them not to leave leftovers in their room (pointing out that they wouldn't do this at home) and show them the fridge and the food-waste bin.

Also, if you get a choice, I'd ask for German, Italian or - at a pinch - French (in that order). I base this perfectly ghastly prejudice on interactions in the street. And am not being 100% serious.

As someone who has hosted many students over the years, I'm not sure you are cutout to do this.

You claim you are laid back but you hysteria about being disrespected and general reactions on this thread show otherwise.

Just ask them to bring any uneaten food down to the kitchen. Job done.

Now all I need to do is get my OWN teenagers to do that.......

They are 15 and away from home, possibly for the first time, they probably bought the snacks themselves because they were too embarassed to ask you if they could have snacks from your kitchen. And 15 year olds do have form for leaving food around. I would ignore the fact that they are not eating “your “ food ,but I would ask them to clear any left over food out of the room and into the bin.

Don’t make a huge thing of it, just give them a few small bin bags aand ask them to use them to put left overs in.

Well obviously it's not or they wouldn't be swapping. Just tell them they need to throw food in the bin and not leave it in their room, they're old enough to know better, and ask if they would prefer something else for lunch. Its 3 weeks, I wouldn't stress too much over this and don't host again.

This is such a non issue, no need to be cross or annoyed when it’s easily ironed out

I think you’re getting way too emotionally involved in this. Let them eat what they want to eat, if you think your food is so fabulous that they must like it you’ve made it impossible for them to say anything. Just tell them to put food in the kitchen bin, sounds like you’re making packed lunches too so why not ask them if they’d like something different. I hosted students for a couple of years, breakfast and dinner only some eat everything most were fussy to some extent. None hid food in their room, but i wouldn’t have made a big deal of them bringing food into the house.

Ask them?