To want my glasses back?

[FlexibleFi]

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

I went to a wedding June. I and three other friends from university days (14 years since we graduated) were invited and booked an AirBnB for a long weekend. We don't see a lot of each other but we have a WA group and message every few weeks. It was a lovely opportunity to catch up.

After years of being really hard up, I had a significant job change this year and for the first time splashed out on a few special things — including a rather fancy pair of designer glasses instead of Specsavers basics. The glasses are for reading and computer work, I don't need them for ordinary things. They're quite a mild prescription. All three friends at the AirBnB tried my posh spex on. One, I'll call her Rachel, commented that we must have the same prescription because she could read perfectly with them. She joshed me for spending so much money on them. A couple of times over the weekend, when I'd left them sitting by my phone or book, she'd borrow them to read something without asking.

We had a great busy and boozy weekend and when I got home I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, so I messaged the group to ask if anyone had picked them up accidentally. All said no. I messaged the AirBnB owner to ask if they'd been left there. No. Searched the car, searched everywhere. No sign of them. I'm not someone who often loses things.

Then this Sunday Joanne, one of the others in the wedding group sent a screenshot from FB of Rachel reading a menu in a restaurant while wearing a pair of glasses that look just like mine. Joanne commented 'Well now we know where Fi's glasses went, LOL' on FB. By the time I managed to get onto FB (ancient account I rarely check) the image had gone — but I had the screenshot.

I messaged Rachel, sent her the screenshot and said it looked as if she'd found my glasses, could she post them back to me please. She's replied saying they're her glasses: she liked them so much that she's bought a pair exactly like mine. I don't believe it and neither does Joanne. Rachel's recently split from her long-term partner and she talked a lot while we were away of how difficult she's finding things financially at the moment.

They were £300. I could claim on travel insurance (I have annual travel insurance) or on my household contents, but then I'll have to pay more for premiums for the next few years.

Joanne has said she'll get involved if necessary but I don't want to ruin memories of a lovely weekend. I can't immediately afford to replace the spex with the same (I have a holiday booked and that will eat up my budget for the next month or two) so I'll have to order a pair of cheap prescription readers on the internet. WWYD?

Surely if you all know she is a thief she wil be dumped by everyone? Or none of them are true friends op...

If they were her glasses which she bought then why would she have the photo deleted? What’s her explanation for that?

This! She’s a thief and a liar-I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her.

Haven’t your memories of a ‘lovely weekend’ been completely tainted by her already?!

If I had reasonable proof showing a friend had stolen from me then that friendship would be over!

id write the glasses off but the friendship is done, I wouldn’t trust her.

I was worried too but motor insurance is in a league of its own!

I'm surprised any of them want to be friends with her after this, honestly. It's such a flimsy lie, and there's no telling what else she's capable of doing, if she's cuckoo enough to try stealing someone's glasses.

Maybe it hasn't sunken in yet, but will any of you ever trust her again? I'd be annoyed with Joanne as well, for sighing and acting as though it's impossible to put collective pressure on the thief to 'fess up. Yes, actually, I would end a friendship over this, chuck her out of the group, etc!

Wow. Thats awful

btw unfortunately when I lost my glasses on holiday my policy didn’t cover them. Home insurance might but you’d likely to have an excess

she needs to show proof that she bought them

This. We all get email confirmations of orders nowadays. And credit card/debit card statements with the £300 optometrist bill for “her” new glasses could easily be produced too.

Do we really want to say we'll block her from the group when we all know she's having a hard time?'

The one who said this isn’t your mate either - nor are the others who might also think this way.

They’d be gone from my life. I don’t like thieves and liars or their apologists.

Having a hard time does not allow you to make merry with the possessions of others.

It seems even worse when you are supposed to be friends.

She cant have the exact same prescription, I hope she gets headaches.

For me this friendship would be over. Friends don’t steal from each other.

Can you send her a stern email with a deadline to send your glasses back? I would also make a clear post in the WA group, unless she can prove (card statement, confirmation email) the glasses are hers, you have to assume she stole yours.

If you can get the glasses to a Specsavers they will confirm the prescription. If it matches yours exactly it’s highly likely she stole them. You know this anyway but it would confirm it.

her prescription is really unlikely to match yours. It might be similar but not exact in both eyes.

if it were me I would ask for proof of payment in her bank then I would steal them back.

I would back a friend if another friend stole her £300 glasses.

Or id plan another event and steel them back!

Oh dear, what a nasty situation. I'd be distancing myself from her, and not attending further meet ups - or asking she not be invited.

Barefaced liars like this justify their theft to themselves: she'll have thought:

"Oh @FlexibleFi has got a high-paying job. She can afford to lose these glasses. Poor me, my boyfriend's left me. I'm broke. I deserve these glasses because I'm poor and @FlexibleFi is rich now. And anyway, if she shouldn't have bought them if she couldn't afford to replace them."

People like this convince themselves YOU'RE in the wrong and realistically, you just need to write off the glasses and this ex friend.

Specsavers wont touch shit if you didnt buy them there.

Really feel for you being without your glasses. I generally spend a small fortune on mine to get them exactly how I like them. I would be distraught to lose them and even more peed off if I thought a friend stole them.

I'd be really upset by that. It's very obvious she has stolen your glasses and the shrugging off of the incident by your friends would hurt my feelings and really tarnish how I felt about the group and further days out/holidays.
I think I'd phone the mutual friend and tell her exactly that. You don't need to hide how upset you are over it -why should YOU be expected to be the one who rolls over and gives in for an easy life while a blatant thief gets away with it and keeps the friendship group?!
If friend gets nowhere I'd go all out and post on the WA group truthfully. Fuck it -nothing left to lose. I wouldn't want to be mates with a thief and people who would back up a thief anyway.

I think you need to get some reading glasses.

If you start involving the police, it's the end of this group friendship. Ask her to provide proof of purchase or send you the glasses by return post.

Just to be the Devils advocate for a moment...

Are you 100% that she hasn't purchased a similar pair? People do copy other people. What happens if she produces a receipt? You are accusing the friend of theft based on a screen shot off of face book and gossip about her financial situation.

Could be a bit awks accusing a friend of theft to your other friends, only to find out you were wrong. Has this person form for taking things given that you would automatically and so easily suspect her of theft?
I get you are peeved for misplacing your glasses but you said yourself that heavy drinking was involved, and wearing them in front of you at your get together is totally different to sticking them in her pocket and running off with them.

To the person who stole my glasses: I will find you, I have contacts.

Well yes-you'd think she might say that oh bugger she'd been caught using them until she could post them back/get her own pair.

I would be saying to Joanna if you can talk to her that would be great thanks - I can’t afford to replace them at the moment.

and I would also be adding - “Joanna, if she is prepared to take a £300 pair of prescription glasses from me and then deny it - aren’t you worried she will steal something from you and also lie about it?” Plant that seed in Joanna’s head and hope it grows.

LOL! I'd bet good money you were the star pupil in school.

I hope it’s just a mixup and you get your glasses back OP. Am I the only one was recommended the Mumsnet Vision Express deal after opening this thread?