To want my glasses back?

[FlexibleFi]

More of a WWYD than an AIBU.

I went to a wedding June. I and three other friends from university days (14 years since we graduated) were invited and booked an AirBnB for a long weekend. We don't see a lot of each other but we have a WA group and message every few weeks. It was a lovely opportunity to catch up.

After years of being really hard up, I had a significant job change this year and for the first time splashed out on a few special things — including a rather fancy pair of designer glasses instead of Specsavers basics. The glasses are for reading and computer work, I don't need them for ordinary things. They're quite a mild prescription. All three friends at the AirBnB tried my posh spex on. One, I'll call her Rachel, commented that we must have the same prescription because she could read perfectly with them. She joshed me for spending so much money on them. A couple of times over the weekend, when I'd left them sitting by my phone or book, she'd borrow them to read something without asking.

We had a great busy and boozy weekend and when I got home I couldn't find my glasses anywhere, so I messaged the group to ask if anyone had picked them up accidentally. All said no. I messaged the AirBnB owner to ask if they'd been left there. No. Searched the car, searched everywhere. No sign of them. I'm not someone who often loses things.

Then this Sunday Joanne, one of the others in the wedding group sent a screenshot from FB of Rachel reading a menu in a restaurant while wearing a pair of glasses that look just like mine. Joanne commented 'Well now we know where Fi's glasses went, LOL' on FB. By the time I managed to get onto FB (ancient account I rarely check) the image had gone — but I had the screenshot.

I messaged Rachel, sent her the screenshot and said it looked as if she'd found my glasses, could she post them back to me please. She's replied saying they're her glasses: she liked them so much that she's bought a pair exactly like mine. I don't believe it and neither does Joanne. Rachel's recently split from her long-term partner and she talked a lot while we were away of how difficult she's finding things financially at the moment.

They were £300. I could claim on travel insurance (I have annual travel insurance) or on my household contents, but then I'll have to pay more for premiums for the next few years.

Joanne has said she'll get involved if necessary but I don't want to ruin memories of a lovely weekend. I can't immediately afford to replace the spex with the same (I have a holiday booked and that will eat up my budget for the next month or two) so I'll have to order a pair of cheap prescription readers on the internet. WWYD?

I'm really pleased you're being reunited with your glasses and I hope Rachel will apologise to you. At least you know you've a good friend in Joanne for persevering and getting them back. Just don't go leaving them in any more random bags in future. Remember if there is any awkwardness next time you are all together there is only one person responsible and it isn't you and if they are being posted to you, make sure it is recorded or signed for because I couldn't cope if they went missing again.

Don’t forget the accidental email in which she accidentally told OP they were hers because she had bought them.
Accidentally.
😂

Um, yeah, O.K. 🙄

That's theft, tell her to cough up the receipt as proof of payment and if she can't threaten her with the police.

When you contact the police, make sure you keep screen shots of the FB post as evidence.

She can not be trusted, she is a thief and a lier.

Good point. Perhaps you could accidentally share said email at some stage op. You know, accidentally in conversation. Great outcome though. So pleased that you have some excellent friends.

Oooh thanks for the update!

So happy that you'll be getting them back! 💓

This reminds me of a comedy.....perhaps Father Ted.....where stolen church money........ "was only resting in my account"😂

That's spectacular! Rachel was framed! You saw right through her! Etc. 🤓

Oh good! I am so happy you got them back!
Your friend has a good idea on how to handle it.

"Staged an intervention" made me laugh! I am sure it pretty much was!

😎👓👓👀👁😎

@WigglyVonWaggly I was fully invested in this. Delighted that it was all a mistake and you only accidentally put them in her bag and she accidentally kept them and accidentally wore them until someone accidentally captured it in a photo. May I suggest a glasses chain round the neck at all times, to avoid any further catalogues of mistakes?

And here I thought I was accident-prone. LOL!

Rachel had so many "accidents"? Maybe her eyesight is failing and she needs glasses?

(I'll see myself out now)

Mine too. Luckily, they weren't as expensive as OPs. 😢

I wouldn't say it's hoorah all round if you're allowing this thief to stay in your life tbh, hope you don't ask her into your house

How convenient that the thing you accidentally put in her bag was the item she’d been borrowing all weekend and complementing you on. At least you know now that if the opportunity arises she’s a total tealeaf who will steal off her friends.

I'm so relieved for you! I really didn't think this would be the outcome!

You're a kinder person than I am, OP, I could not bear to ever be around someone again who had stolen something so obviously mine from me and then lied about it. She needs serious therapy bc it's one thing to covet/envy/be jealous of someone else's stuff, it's another to be bold enough to steal it and then try to spin a fantasy to justify/explain...

Also you do NOT have to "laugh this off" bc
a) someone you trusted stole from you
b) this group of friends sounds like they would prefer to minimise this for the sake of "the group" but why? What does this achieve? BC an actual group of friends would want to talk about it collectively as a group with the CF, not to hurt or attack her, but so everyone could express their feelings (including her) and then actually become a stronger and more open group of friends.

Personally, I hope you can start to see that this friendship group is actually not very emotionally healthy, and perhaps reflect on how best to move forward for yourself...

(And dammit, I still wash I knew what these spex look like! Don't worry - I won't copy or steal 'em...at least drop the brand? Is it LaFont or something French? Vooglam?)

good news

Glad you got the glasses back, OP! 🤓

I hope Rachel feels the shame she should. Hopefully this will teach her a lesson, but IMO the kind of person who would do something like that isn’t the kind who learns lessons. Gradually in her head it will be twisted to be your fault. I don’t understand why you all tolerate a thief in your group and why you feel the need to appease her and cover for her. That’s weakness not kindness. If you’re lucky, she’ll back out of future stealing opportunities meet ups.

I am ridiculously delighted to hear you have them back. I hope you grin with pleasure every time you put them on.

I hope Rachel is pickled with mortification.
She did find them in her bag...because she PUT THEM THERE.
And everyone knows it. And she knows that everyone knows it.
Thieving twat.

Is there a specific code that links to your purchase on the inside the arm of the glasses that your optician could tell you?

That's a result....of sorts.
I too think that what Rachel should have done was on discovery of said glasses, put a post in the WhatsApp group or on FB saying "I've found these glasses in my bag - if no one claims them, I'm keeping them!" and then you could have said "They're mine!!! I'll arrange for them to be collected, thanks Rachel" except she didn't. She kept lying throughout the process. I'd find it very difficult to trust Rachel again with anything if she can be this deceptive around a pair of glasses.
But that's me.

Come on….. now they are back let’s see a picture of them! Pretty please!

Great update @FlexibleFi .Your friends sound lovely to have staged an intervention. They saved the friendship group, and got your glasses back.

Saved the friendship group by keeping a lying thief in it?

She is a thief. She knew what the glasses had cost, and took them. In effect she stole £300.
I wouldn't be leaving my handbag or suitcase anywhere near her, if she has the gall to come along to any more get togethers.

Joanne sounds like she could stage a UN peace intervention with aplomb!