3yo DD keeps saying something really weird

[Pancakepipsqueak]

I have a 3 year old (4 in sept) who I shared 50:50 custody with my ex.
she’s started a weird exchange a few times that goes
“hey mummy, guess what”
”what”
”AIDs” then she’ll giggle.
my response is always “that’s an odd thing to say?” Or something similar. Tonight I texted my ex about it and he said “yeah 😂”
turns out he’s been saying it to her? I’ve said I don’t find it appropriate and wouldn’t want her saying it to the childminder or other children. He called me “moral high ground grand wizard” and attacked me basically.
I will say, he’s a teacher, we’re 33. It just seems like such a juvenile joke that isn’t appropriate and is offensive?
was I BU bringing it up? Am I overreacting and this is hilarious?

Just when I think I've read the peak of bizarre, this pops up. How very VERY odd.

In that case, I would speak to nursery. Tell them you are giving them a heads up, that your dd may say it, you realise it is v inappropriate but that her father taught her it and reinforces it. See if they see it as a safe guarding issue, I would.
.

When is his birthday?

Maybe he is hinting he wants a course of Ayds. The appetite suppressant toffees from the 1970s

What? So parents can't be teachers?
Childcare most likely....like the rest of working parents....

This whole story's bonkers! Now you've explained to a small child about the disease called AIDS, you could be in for some interesting moments as she encounters the far more common use of the word "aids".

I mean, it seems you correctly divined XP's intention because you know he's a bit of a dickhead, but he's not going to stop being a dickhead and the actual complaint is that your daughter currently finds the word "aids" funny. It's not as if he taught her "bumsex" or something 🤷🏻‍♀️

Is that a Brass Eye reference?

OP has your ex been watching Rick and Morty with your daughter by any chance? It crops up a lot in that cartoon.

Christ alive, what an absolute weirdo he is. And as for Moral High Ground Grand Wizard.....I'd rather be that than a complete fucking arsehole.

I don't get the joke, is there something I'm missing?

He called you that? Then you reply with "Ok. Which one are you out of interest? Beavis or Butthead....oh no its ok, I've worked it out." and then call him Butthead whenever you text him.

Yes.

The Point.

Absolutely agree with this.

I am so sorry for the loss of your son, OP. 💐 It must make this all the more unfathomable and disturbing.

Perhaps ask him what he thinks his daughter when she’s older will think or feel about him setting her up like this at 3 years of age? I’d be appalled if my parent had used me like this for some twisted “humour” - and I hate to think what else he finds funny regarding your DDs (age appropriate!) lack of knowledge about terrible illnesses and death.

Sounds like a week at a time is too long for a little 3 year old to be away from her mum, and especially if she’s spending that time with a man who finds it funny to treat her like a practical joke. It’s quite upsetting - like he’s laughing at her, as well as with her - he’ll be finding it funny that she doesn’t know what she’s saying. Horrible. Uncaring and with a bullying edge. He’s not a good dad.

Thank you. I’ve tried to change the set up but he won’t. I can’t afford court or anything like that (not that I’ve looked into it much so it anyone can’t give any insight I would appreciate it).
im not sure what else to do.

Yes he does watch Rick and morty quite a lot actually.

I haven’t explained anything to her as of right now.
i will probably not explain it to her and go down the try and make another joke with her route.
I haven’t “divined” anything, I asked him, he confirmed.
My daughter does already know about illnesses that kill us as she has an older brother who died when he was 6 months old (she sees pictures and we talk about him). It wouldn’t be a lot to explain to her that AIDS is another illness that can make you poorly enough to be in hospital and die (unfortunately) but I take your comment on board.

It makes so little sense that I am struggling to believe he means HIV/AIDS and keep thinking it must make more sense with another meaning of the word.
There are jokes that aren't funny
There are jokes I don't get
This doesn't even meet the bench mark of a joke.

100% that's where shouting Aids as a joke is from then.

Teach her your own "unfunny" joke to say to him.

Knock Knock

Who's there?

You're not.

You're not who?

You're not my real dad.

Yes, he sounds like one of those teachers who has spent his whole life in a "school" environment, and has never grown up. It's always the men. That said, my 13yo DS would recognise how that is offensive and definately not funny.

Oh dear sounds very juvenile and unfunny, a bit like some of the stuff shared on social media including by Ricky Gervais who a ng other things continually referred incorrectly to AIDS rather than HIV.
Since he is a teacher maybe explain, as another poster mentioned, that he’s behind the times. HIV is the virus, AIDS is a group of illnesses that untreated HIV might lead to and due to effective meds it is rarely referred to now rather late stage HIV might be used instead.
He might not be aware that worldwide, there are more women living with HIV than men of which there are a third in the UK, including myself. As your daughter grows older he will no doubt want her to know factual information and keep herself safe.

Although this is a resource for for healthcare professionals and the point might go right by him, you could share this https://smashstigma.ca

Hopefully the ‘joke’ will run its course for your daughter, and she won’t repeat it to others, otherwise it would be up to your ex to explain why

Oh I know it's inappropriate for a 3 year old who wouldn't get it, which makes you wonder why the dad got her to repeat it to her mum, for that's what it sounds like. It almost sounds like it was rehearsed. As you said, was he trying to get a rise out of OP. But it is a weird thing to say.
If an adult said 'guess what?' 'AIDS' I'd be going 'AIDS what? What are you on about?'
OP does he have form for sending your daughter back from his with messages for you or stupid jokes?

He does have a weird, pretty immature sense of humour himself. He will repeat the same jokes/“funny” lines from films/series he watches he sees. I can think of a few examples but can’t remember the context always but one particular example is that old film with Tommy wiseau “the room”. Things like that.
i don’t think he’s done it for me or to annoy me. It’s something he’s always done

Explains why he’s your ex. Tosser. When your DD says it just say ‘ don’t say that, sweetie. It’s not the right thing to say’ or something similar.

I see why he’s an ex.

This is a drop in the ocean in the list of reasons he’s an ex to be honest.