To ask if this would offend you?

[CobaltQueen]

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

You sound ridiculous 😅😅

I ask if I hear a Slavic accent, because my late father was from Eastern Europe and I know a couple of Slavic languages. I try to be diplomatic, however.

The one time that I became peeved was when I was at work in a Scottish high school...I still had my maiden name. I have a local accent. A bloke who had just arrived from the south of England asked "When did you come to this country?"

I gave him my date and time of birth.

I've often been asked what my accent is as it's not one commonly heard. I've never been offended.

Yes that's me. I'm getting better at not doing it, but it's hard and I do still tend to if I'm nervous.

People ask me where I’m from all the time and it never offends me. It’s usually a little conversation starter I find and would never think someone was rude. Where I’m actually from there is two accents anyway (would say leaning towards queens English and farmer!) and as my parents weren’t from there I was always a bit hybrid as mixed in with theirs too. Now I don’t live there I have a mix and no one can place where I’m from at all as I’ve now got a northern twang to it too

you don't get accent from your parents

Some people do, as with my dd who definitely didn't get hers from her peer group. And I'm pretty sure 'hybrid' accents aren't uncommon where there may be a mix of local and familial influences.

What? Of course you do - you learn to speak by copying your parents. My parents were both northerners and I got picked on at school for saying "grass, bath, path etc" with the short "a" sound instead of the local southern sounds "gr-aah-ss, b-aah-th, p-aah-th".

It may surprise you but "manners" look different across the globe. I was taught to only fart in a toilet and to cover my mouth when I yawn, yet in Britain everyone seems to be totally comfortable of letting one rip on public transport.
Also, British manners seem to all be about saying polite things to one's face before slagging one off behind one's back.
In my books, it is not rude to ask someone where their accent is from because I cannot imagine anyone being offended about their origins. Unless, of course, they are anti-immigrants and are mortified to be mistaken for one.

Good grief, of course it's not rude! I have people comment on my accent all the time and I've lived here for 23 years!! 😂It doesn't bother me in the slightest.

My mum gets continually asked if she is Irish - despite never having visited and her Grandfather arriving 150 years ago and never going back.
I have a clear spoken voice from years when I was always on the phone for work and time was money, my brother makes Phil Mitchell sound like Nicholas Parsons.
Not sure if it's different for younger generations - met someone who moved to Wales a couple of years ago after Uni, she sounded like both Gavin and Stacey.
Not rude if you are interested and consider the accent interesting, very rude if you are trying to make someone feel small.
Fiona Hill (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fiona_Hill_(presidential_advisor) ) was Obama and Trump's Russian expert. She hails from Bishop Auckland in County Durham and was deemed too common to interest Oxford or the Foreign Office - Trump is on record as saying that she has nothing going for her 'other than her cute accent'.

No. I have a strong regional accent. Lots of people comment on it. Its not rude

Absolutely you do, try having a family with a brummie accent and not picking that up a little bit.

I think you needed to think how to ask , and explain why you were asking.

Agree - broad accents can vary between a few miles of each other.

I grew up in Lancashire and you could tell a Burnley accent, from a Blackburn accent, from a Bolton accent and then the Manchester accent was a completely different kettle of fish.

@CobaltQueen As an opener into a 'where are you from' line of questions, I always ask ' Have you always lived around these parts?'
See what their response is and go from there. It sounds like you clumsily framed the question

BTW - I had a friend at school with a Scottish accent, she never lived in Scotland, but her grandparents / parents were from there.

Yes. Rude.

People ask me where I’m from all the time even though I live in the town I was born in and grew up in. Luckily I’m not permanently offended like most people.

I literally sound like nobody from my area. Work remotely and people can’t place my accent. I get asked all the time and I don’t think it’s rude.

A lot worse things to ask

I don't see the issue in asking, but it should be a natural part of the conversation, rather than an outright demand to know where you're from.

Opposite here! I’m from Yorkshire, outskirts of Barnsley. Was told at university that I sounded like I should be “thick”.

I feel we can never get a middle ground. We either sound thick or posh. Or that we “don’t belong”.

I'm often asked about my accent and never give it a second thought, never mind being offended by the question. Life's too short to worry trivia - or those simply looking for a fight.

It’s being asked “where you come from” when you are home that is a little wearing. If you are asked this question a lot you may also sometimes be told to “go back where you come from” by arseholes.
Personally I don’t like being asked where I come from as it’s a long explanation and frankly none of your business.

Mean. Are you always like that?

"Where are you from" is also rude. It's often feels like othering so best not asked.

Since when was it automatically offensive to come from different parts of the world, or to have a different cultural heritage / background than the majority of the population you live in?? Everyone gets offended by the slightest things these days. Obviously there are sometimes instances where this question is out of ignorance but I don’t think it’s the case here honestly.