To ask if this would offend you?

[CobaltQueen]

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

If it's rude than many people have been rude to me in my lifetime

I don't think it's rude at all

My husband is from the Middle East and despite living here for over 24 years can't shift his accent.
He would have zero problem with being asked where he is from or being told he has a strong accent. I worked briefly in an industry with a lot of immigrants from Africa and would often ask about there country of origin. I've had some lovely conversations about their cuisine, what it was like growing up, politics etc.

I don't really get it. Is having a strong accent bad?

Having said that I wouldn't ask about someone's accent or where they're from because it does feel wrong some how...I can't quite articulate why though. Maybe because it shouldn't matter.

Like SeeSee, above, I take on a tinge of the accent of the person I'm in conversation with.

I also have that possibly autistic trait where your accent is different to your region. I variously get told I sound Kiwi, Posh Scouse or just posh!

I do a lot of public speaking, and the persona who takes over when I address an audience has a friendly BBC radio accent rather different to my normal one - I often get asked do I present current affairs on Radio Berkshire!

Does being asked where I'm from bother me? Not really. As above, I guess it depends how you are asked.

People often ask me where I'm from or where my accent is from. I've no idea why: I live within 100 miles of where I was born. I have lived abroad for parts of my life but that's none of their business and not something I want to talk about particularly with a stranger or acquaintance.

I think it's rude. It's othering. It's a way of saying... you don't fit in here.

@DeanElderberry victims? How is asking about an accent some sort of way to belittle someone? Sounds like you have been on the receiving end of this in which case yes that is out of order but commenting or asking about someone's accent is not rude or belittling. I'm from the south and live in the north and my accent gets commented on all the time and it mostly just ends up in a conversation about who they know down there or oh how interesting I have never been there, I love listening to different accents and there is always something interesting to be learnt. I'm sorry you have come across so many shitty people that have made you feel like that

Of course you do

In this case it wasn’t just rude it was borderline racist.

I have a really strong Northern accent .. it really doesn’t bother me if someone asks be where I am from (I was more insulted when someone assumed I was from Yorkshire 😡)

I've had multiple people ask me where I'm from because my accent tells them I'm "obviously not from round here". Not offended in the slightest, I just inform them I was born at the local hospital, they express surprise and we move on.

only 1% of the world's population can speak a second language with a native-sounding accent, so it's totally expected he wouldn't shift it.

I'm not "from" anywhere - army family, with parents from two different parts of the UK - and was once asked by a Londoner at a wedding on the other side of the world where I was from, to which I said "I live in London". She absolutely refused to believe I didn't have a home-town and persisted in trying to place me, eventually getting quite cross and snapping that the only other person she knew who said anything that ridiculous was the bride. Yes, I said. She's my sister.

This led to another rant based on the "fact" that she couldn't possibly be my sister (I am skinny and dark and sis is curvy and blonde). Sis later confirmed that she was bonkers.

that's convergence, which is just temporary to the specific person in the context, not her actual accent.

Extremely rude. I hate it when someone says that to me.

Of course the London accent has variations. Huge ones!

To take a single letter example, H at the start of a word is slightly emphasised in MLE (South London) and dropped entirely in Cockney (East -central). And sometimes also added where it shouldn't be in Cockney.

I think people who think it's rude are secret racists. I'd go as far as to say they sometimes don't even realise it themselves.

Not everyone does. I have one European parent, one Asian, raised in neither of the countries that they are from - our accents are all very different.

I might get jumped on or misunderstood for this so I hope my point is taken how I mean it .

I would think maybe it might make a difference , depending on their race. For example , if the person was not white - maybe asking it might give the impression that you are assuming they aren’t from the area / country because they aren’t white . For example , I know many Indian people who have actually lived in the U.K. for their whole lives but have a hint of an Indian accent, that probably comes from maybe other family members who haven’t always lived here .. but , I would feel asking them where they are from could imply that I have just assumed they aren’t British , because of their race which in turn could make them feel as though they are perceived as though they surely can’t be British for that reason .

Fellow no-home-towner here! Always amazed by folks who think I MUST have a home town, and that if I'm not going to give them one, they will try to identify one for me 😆😬

I wouldn't tell someone they had a really strong accent. That could be construed as rude.
I'd possibly ask where they were from, maybe say I like their accent if I have to mention it.
I guess if you don't know someone, the whole 'where are you from' thing could seem divisive, like, oh, your clearly not from round 'ere kind of thing? But they could well have been over sensitive. As you hopefully were just being curious in a warm way.

I get asked fairly often where in Scotland I’m from, I’m from Sunderland but it’s happened so often that it seems that people in the South West can’t tell the difference. I don’t mind people asking but if someone said I have a strong accent I would be offended because I understand that to mean that I’m unintelligible.

I find it annoying when one of the first things people ask is where I’m from, based on accent. It’s sort of pointing out you’re different and need to explain yourself. Not offensive, but not exactly considerate either.
And yes, an interesting conversation may ensue.

@greenpolarbear I'm not sure what you mean.
If a child's parents speak a different language (ie non English) so the child is bilingual does that mean their parents language is not their "actual language" ?

OH is English, like proper English, also brown.

People ask her where she's from, despite a very clearly South London accent, she answers with the London hospital she was born in. Then they ask but yeah really?

That's fucking rude, but to me that's very different

Where are you from then posed as an open question is fine and conversational though it can be a trap if you're talking to somebody of non UK heritage.

If they say London the answer is where in London not 'but where are you really from'.

As Lady Hussey found to her cost.