To ask if this would offend you?

[CobaltQueen]

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

Maybe next time phrase it differently “ I love listening to your voice and accent, but I can’t place it”

Very rude.

I was at uni with an English guy who had spent a gap year in Australia and spent three years speaking with a pronounced Aussie accent. God knows why.

I have a strong regional accent that stands out as different to where I live. I have often been asked where im from originally and have absolutely no problem people asking me where I'm from because I don't have a chip on my shoulder.

I speak with rp and asked if I'm from the home counties. Doesn't bother me as much as such.
I like different dialects and accents, they fascinate me.

Completely depends on context, tone and intent.

As others have said “Are you from x? I can’t place your accent,” not rude at all. Particularly if followed by a complimentary remark about the place. I don’t think it’s rude to show interest in people’s backgrounds.

”You have a really strong accent,” could sound rude in my view as it marks the person out as an outlier or some sort of novelty. I wouldn’t say it.

Yes definitely rude.

I was born and brought up on the Isle of Man before I went to university. I went back there for a couple of years after graduating but moved permanenetly to the UK almost 40 years ago.

People are often confused by my accent (particularly the emphasis I put on certain words and syllables) and I'm frequently asked where I'm from. Don't find it rude and I'm not offended by it. Why would anyone think it was rude or offensive?

Having lived in the UK for so long, whenever I hear a recording of myself speaking I think I sound really weird!

Stop being so facetious. There is literally millions of topics not related to personal business.

Surely the weather is the typical example. Ask of someone had a nice evening etc. Bur no it isn’t mannerly to comment on anyone’s appearance nor their personal attributes.

It’s rude to draw attention to something personal like that. There’s no need to mention it.

Is it?!

@greenpolarbear not saying he SHOULD 'shift' it ( his term not mine'). Just that at one point he really wanted to sound like a person whose first language was English. But he had never been able to pronounce the 'th' sound so has given up long ago and embraced speaking accented English.

@KreedKafer I often wonder how some people make friends or find a husband/wife if what is a fairly ordinary conversational question is apparently "personal"?
Where's your accent from is just chat. Not an intense debate on your private personality.

That's your opinion & that kinda attitude is what's wrong with socially today. Thinking everything needs to be taken offensively is getting old

I have a Scottish accent that is totally different to those normally heard on TV etc. We also have our own different words for things. We were on holiday in Greece and could hear the couple at the next table speculating about where we were from along the lines of "I think they're Irish", "No, they're from Yorkshire" etc etc. I thought they were rude to talk about us thinking we couldn't hear them so I'd far rather they'd just asked us.

I once asked a lady on the till at our local Tesco if she had a Canadian accent. She was delighted as everyone normally assumed she was American and I was the first person who'd got it right.

I work with a few people from overseas who cannot understand any Scottish client or colleague.

I have a strong accent myself and I don’t think it’s rude. But it’s rude to talk about people and their accents in earshot

"Stop being so facetious. There is literally millions of topics not related to personal business.

Surely the weather is the typical example. Ask of someone had a nice evening etc. Bur no it isn’t mannerly to comment on anyone’s appearance nor their personal attributes."

@Marblessolveeverything

They've asked about an accent! An accent, that's all. They haven't asked about when their last period was, or the colour of their bowel movements or told them their arse is huge. They've simply asked about an accent. Now, if they'd have said 'god your accent is horrific', you'd have a point, but they didn't. Not everything is offensive and if you take offence so very easily, look inwards.

Understanding that there are polite and impolite ways to ask about certain topics is how I make friends and found a husband and a career.

"Did you grow up in London?"
"Is London home for you?"
"Have you always lived in London?"
"Do you have family here in London?"
All great conversational questions to give people a chance to tell you about their background.

"Wow you have such a strong accent where did you come from?"
No. This is too likely to echo classism, anti-immigrant sentiment, and ableism.

No, not rude. I would not be offended by that.

And did you read what happened next? The person is local and the op has inadvertently indicated they don't sound like they are. Can you see why that wasn't a good choice?

Honestly my ten year old son has more cop on.

I don’t think it’s rude OP, people will be offended at anything if they want to be.

I think it’s the word “strong” when referring to an accent that makes it sound rude. Because it could imply not speaking English very well.

If commenting on an accent, the usual form would be to say it’s a lovely accent, even if you don’t think it is!

@AGoingConcern personally "you have a strong accent" wouldn't offend me in the slightest and doesn't strike me as different from the other questions you suggested.

Even this suggests the OP is a bit unsubtle in how she expresses herself - "shocked" not surprised or curious but "shocked" - that's got negative, disbelieving feelings attached to it. I think the OP is unaware of how she comes across.