To ask if this would offend you?

[CobaltQueen]

Telling someone they have a strong accent and asking where they are from. Turns out they have always lived in this area and looked really embarrassed when I asked. Was I rude?

Maybe her parents were from elsewhere and she's got a hybrid accent.

Did no one ever teach you not to ask such questions. It is invertibly saying you don't belong. Yes it is incredibly rude.

So she has a strong accent that’s different to the local accent where she’s always lived? That’s quite unusual! Are you also from the area?

Depending on how you said it, I don’t think it was necessarily rude.

Scouser here, although not lived there for years so don’t have a particularly strong accent. If someone told me they thought I did, (which people have done in the past) can’t say I would’ve given it a second thought.

I’m going to be in the minority here and say it wasn’t rude, just curiosity, especially given that she’s white lol

You're not from round here, are you? Fine. Where you you from ('cos I can't tell)? That's fine too. You have a strong accent! NOT fine. Rude. What my mother called a 'personal remark'. Like saying someone has a big nose.

I get asked where I’m from about once a week. It’s nothing, just making conversation. I’m genuinely surprised anyone finds that rude.

OP you live in London

a hot bed of accents

I don't think it's rude.

I've had it said to me....and I'm from London and still live here and have what I think is a London accent. I just found it amusing.

Personally I wouldn’t be offended but I have a northern accent and live in the south of England, so when people ask where I’m from I understand why they’re interested. Never interpreted it as anyone telling me I don’t belong. I do think it’s funny when people tell me a have a strong accent, because my hometown family tell me how southern I sound now, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed.

To tell someone ‘you have a strong accent’ is very rude. It is not your place to make personal remarks especially phrased in a negative way. If you had said a ‘lovely accent’ it would have been different as compliments are more acceptable.

To then go on an interrogate them about where they are from just made it worse.

Yeah that's why it's unusual as she says she has always lived here and yes, so have I.
London does have a variety of accents but only because a lot of people move here from different countries which is why I thought this was the case with her. A london accent doesn't have many variations after all.

It really isn't rude to ask someone what their accent is. Its just a general conversation getting to know you topic.
They might have thought it odd - where I live is an old town that has seen massive growth recently, mostly people moving oit of a nearby city into the suburbs of our town, so some new locals have very different accents to old locals.

I have a confusing accent I guess because I get asked about it lots. I'm not from Britain and my parents aren't from where I was born.

I rarely think anything if someone comments on it. You can normally easily tell whether someone's being shitty and i would only really assume they're interested

A london accent doesn't have many variations after all.

I'm not from London, but I'm sure I've heard lots of variations.

I don't think it's rude at all but I wouldn't have asked it because people are really over sensitive these days and take offence at everything

A london accent doesn't have many variations after all.

Don't really agree, although it's becoming more the case than it was 20-30 years ago

I think it’s fine to ask where someone is from (within reason - sometimes not appropriate) but saying someone has a strong accent is rude.

I don't see how people are finding this rude. Iv lived in the same city all my life & been asked many times where I'm from as my dialect is more Doric than the town I'm in, just my upbringing. I was taught manners but also to discern between interest or malice. If you can tell the difference it can lead to interesting conversations.

OP I wouldn't let it bother you. There are much worse & real things to get stressed over.

Do you live in London because as someone born and bred there I can clearly state there are many different accents depending on the area of London. Even within a few miles accents in London vary.

Someone from Bermondsey has a very different accent to someone from Barnet or Hounslow or Plaistow for example.

I couldn’t get wound up by people asking me about my accent when it is clear they are just trying to make conversation, then again some people seem to make a career out of getting offended these days

I'm from an area with a thick regional accent. I lived away for a long time but have returned 'home'. During my time living away I have lost my accent so I often get asked where I'm from. I don't think people who ask me are rude. However occasionally I get the odd person who either doesn't believe me or cross-examines me in detail on how I lost my accent. That is rude.
Nota major issue I don't think.

Surely whether it is rude or not depends on the tone and context as to why you are asking?

I work in the oil industry and have spent a lot of time in West Africa, know the geography very well, familiar with the music, food, local politics and history etc and have a pretty good ear for accents. When I have picked up on someone speaking with Cameroonian, Ghanian, Nigerian etc accent be it in a bar, back of a taxi, on the tube, in a restaurant I often ask ‘are you from x’ as I am generally curious. Every time a fun conversation starts as they are at first surprised someone from London can pick up on a local accent then delighted that you know something about their homeland, culture etc.

Some people seem to be looking for offence.

Commenting on someone's accent is shorthand for 'I have no interest in what you are saying because I regard you as a species of entertainer, not as a person who is worth listening to'. That is why it is rude.

Yes, it's rude. You didn't need to bring up her accent to ask where she was from. Anyone with any social skills could find a way to weave it into normal conversation if they really had to.

If she wasn't white and/or British, that's a whole extra minefield you've wandered into and definitely even more rude.