Just sent this to my 16 & 17 year old

[Nur122]

Guess this isn’t unreasonable
Firstly I love you both lots.
I want to be able to explain that I am disappointed in you both for your lack of respect for how you don’t do the few things in the house like you are meant to like keep your rooms tidy, they are getting worse and more disgusting with old food bowls etc being left in them rather than better. Also you keep leaving stuff lying about the house. I have always been happy doing things for you because I love you and wanted you to have a happy, nice childhood but you are both a lot older now and basically no different from adults so should be able to be a bit more responsible for yourselves without nagging. I’m not expecting you to do the vacuuming, fridge cleaning, bathrooms etc but if you notice a dog poo in the way, or some fly poos somewhere yucky etc there is no reason why you shouldn’t clean them up for example. If you need more storage in your rooms I can help sort it out.
Please do these things out of need and respect.
lots of love mum

@Sillystrumpet

I'm over 50 too (🤷🏻‍♀️), maybe you need to see an optician if you've never seen fly poo, They're not really able to be house trained & seem fond of window frames, not ideal but 💩 happens

maybe you've seen it, but think it's something else??

You'd be better off talking to them. If you're worried you'll forget things to say, write some bullet points.

We don't have a rota. But when I ask ds (13) and dd (7) to help, it includes things like putting washing in, hoovering, hanging washing out to dry, putting clean clothes away and, yes - tidying their rooms. Maybe your expectations until now have not been high enough and you're beginning to pay the price? With teenagers, you have to be really specific - you either have a rota, or as and when you need help, you ask for it (maybe giving them a few mins notice to finish what they're doing first).

My STBEH emailed our children when we split up..

Wrong 😂

Do you live in my house? My teen DD(16) uses the teaspoons to scoop out the contents of all sugary jams/spreads and the forks for the noodle pots to which she’s addicted. She conceals the jars and containers all over the house but, for some inexplicable reason, uses the bin she eschews for actual rubbish to dispose of my cutlery. I am sick of buying forks and teaspoons but I am aware that I have a bigger issue than the loss of flatware. #stressedmumofteenwithbingeeatingdisorder

If I was their age I would probably stop reading after the first or second sentence.

Your boat has sailed OP. I have kids the same age and they learned when they were 7 & 8 that keeping things clean and tidy was everyone's responsibility in the house.

@pastaeatingcat I usually use pledge cleaner, but sometimes it stains. Maybe it fades away though as I can't see any marks now?!?!

I don't have kitchen wet wipes & im not buying them for 🕷️ 💩 🤣🤣but thanks for the tip, I have some baby wipes for out & about I'll try those if I find any marks.

nos do tell about this pasta eating cat!

oh @Nur122 ' I'm so disappointed in you' brilliant way to get teenagers onside.... not.

@kierenthecommunity

Your window cleaner does the insides too?

mine did them once, but made too much mess, I'd rather do them myself... well not really, but I'd rather not have his mess to clean up.

For me, it's on the white frames, not the glass, if it's also on the glass I don't notice it 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

I have kitchen wipes for emergencies only. 😂

My 16-year old cat has suddenly developed an addiction to pasta. Our old dog and and her were best friends. Dog used to love pasta but certainly not the cat. But our dog sadly died, and now the cat is behaving in the strangest way. Behaving more like a dog than a cat.

You can leave it until the spider poo covers it up.

He doesn’t. But I’ve looked at every window and genuinely can’t see anything that could be arachnid shyte

Maybe I don’t have a very spidery house?

Is it that obviously that teenagers would see it? A dog turd, I could understand but I can imagine it being like expecting them noticing black mould or something

Well I have never ever seen fly poo. Maybe my house is just too clean. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Or your eye sight too poor.

Or your eye sight too poor

Irrespective, it’s really a step too far to expect teenagers to go around trying to spot fly poo and berate them for not doing this. Honestly, if I saw a teenager doing this I’d suspect they had OCD or similar. A dog shit sitting on the floor - yes, spotting a fly poo - no.

I certainly agree with that, like I said earlier on. It’s bizarre really.

I get the distinct impression that the OP will have already tried that on numerous occasions, and without success.

YABU if you’re not already having them doing household chores. My 11 and 13 year olds do more than your children and have for years. You’ve built a rod for your own back.

Bowls of old food in bedrooms is disgusting and they should be brought downstairs when finished with, washed or put in the dishwasher. They ae 16 and 17, so when I was that age would have been at work for one or two years and such behaviour would not have been tolerated. The least they can do is keep their rooms tidy.
Mind, I doubt the rant will work. I'd just stop washing their clothes and changing their beds. See how they feel when they have no clean knickers or underpants.
The real problem is that they have not been expected to keep rooms tidy, bring plates down, or put out their washing etc so now they expect this done for them.

Ah they'll be gone soon enough, enjoy them while you can

i wouldn't like you as my mum !try asking, kids always have hovels for bedrooms , it is there responsibility to clean it ,

Too wishy washy.

And absolutely no way are they going to check for fly poo let alone clean it.

Not unreasonable at all, OP, and the votes suggest many agree. Teenagers can tune out from words. Ignore the pp who think you live in a house full of dog shit, it's obvious you meant in the garden, and nobody can run round behind a dog with a poop bag so ofc it'll exit and land. Of course flies excrete, it's those who don't see it who live in mucky houses, https://www.pestec.com/pest-library/house-fly#:~:text=Wherever%20house%20flies%20rest%2C%20they,attractant%20for%20other%20house%20flies.
Good luck with this, I had similar with step teenagers but less agency! Not with my bio kids but still much younger so we'll see...

Me too! Tonnes of knives and dessert spoons, severely lacking in forks and teaspoons.

Nah they will hear blah blah blah.
Hit them where it hurts and don't back down till they start pulling their weight.

You're welcome.

I think you need a clear list of chores that you want them to do. My 17 yo does:
His laundry
Keeps his room clean and tidy
Washing up every other day
Cleans bathroom once a week
Puts rubbish sacks out on bin day
Helps me if I need things put in the loft