No hen do because I actually have no friends 😔

[Toujoursenfrance]

Not sure what the point of this post is other than to show myself as a massive loser….

I am engaged and me and OH have been chatting about potential stag/hen parties. His best man has thrown up some ideas for his which all sound so brilliant and I am honestly so jealous that I can’t be involved - but am adamant I won’t be, even when they both tell me it would be such a laugh to have me there.

Trouble is, I don’t think I’ll be having one myself. Because I don’t have any friends. Never have really. I’ve had acquaintances, usually people I work with but they never really want to be full friends with me. I don’t know why. I don’t think I’m a horrible person. Most people who know me tell me I’m a lovely person with a great sense of humour and a laugh to be around.

I do have one friend that I’ve known for about 17 years but we’ve grown apart over the years since having our respective families and very different life choices/goals etc.
So I’ve been telling everyone I don’t want a hen party whereas I do really.
Thinking I might just book a weekend abroad somewhere hot for just myself while OH is having his, so I can wallow in my loneliness and obvious un-likability!

I didn’t have a hen do either op. It’s ok. I’d take previous suggestions and have a spa day with someone close x

Aw OP I feel you. I have always felt jealous of people who easily make friends. I have to really work at it and whilst I'm lucky to have a few friend groups that invite me along, I don't have many (any?) really close female friends and share few interests with most girls, that made the hen do thing quite stressful. Whilst my OH was off to Bruges for his stag with a lot of great joint friends, all guys, from our uni days!!

I think it's okay sometimes to just let yourself feel it, and be sad. Then take a deep breath and try and move on with all the great things you do have! (I've also learnt to google just enough about things like Love Island that I can have a passable conversation with my 'girl friends' and keep those friendships just about ticking, and otherwise to embrace my oddness and just go play D&D with my OH all male friends because its fun so who cares)

One big positive is definitely that you are marrying someone who is totally open to you joining his stag - and his friends are too! They sound like a great group. Do some of them maybe have partners and you could make some 'couple friends' that way?

Oh, and if you're ever in the Midlands and want to go do some adrenaline activities, I'm up for it! We can both be terrible at making female friends together.

My daughter had a STEN do, and as her parents we were there and it was a fantastic night! Much more fun being mixed than just Hens or Stags.
And Congratulations 🥂 I hope you are happy with your outcome whatever you choose.

If I were to be married I'd be in the exact same situation. Enjoy your own company rather than have an uncomfortable shindig with acquaintances and family members. Have a solo trip to a different city.

I do think you need to get over yourself a bit on this point OP - you’re not too old to be doing things you enjoy! I’m intrigued as to where you do them at the moment? I bet there are some like minded women there

Hi, I feel this because I’m in the same boat! Making up numbers by including basically all family members… You’re welcome to come to mine 😅