Aibu to want to go home

[geekygirldoesnotfitin]

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

They are nasty bitches and your friend is the biggest bitch of them all.

I dont know why people are making generalisations/excuses such as its because they're "not mums/mums/slim/young"- I have been all of those things at one point or another and managed not to bully anyone or treat anyone else like garbage. I have single friends, coupled friends, mum friends, non mum friends, slim friends and friends who arent slim- we all manage to get along fabulously and we care about each other.

This is to do with their core personalities, which clearly suck.

Oh, she's an influencerrrrr. Yuck.

How horrible and cruel of them! They know they're excluding you and they're doing it deliberately.

I know there's only three days left but I'd just try to rearrange my flight and go home. I wouldn't tell them I was leaving either.

They sound hideous.

Ignore them and try to enjoy your own company.

Influencer my arse.

I’d try to book an earlier flight home and make a quiet exit.

If/When your influencer friend realises that you’re gone, send a single text message saying that while everyone else appeared to be thick as thieves with their respective groups, you felt that no one wanted you around so you’ve left. Hope they enjoy the rest of their holiday.

Then I’d phase them all out!

Such a pity that someone could influence your influencer friend into having better manners!

It’s them, it’s not you. You’d have to be behaving in quite an extreme way to justify what they are doing, not just a bit annoying. You would know if you done something serious enough to cross the line and be treated like this. so rest assured it’s not going to be that (you sound so self aware, I simply can’t imagine it being that anyway).

it sounds as if your friend has tried to book you essentially to play an extra in the background of the shit movie that is her life. There’s so many people who this, and then ostracise people when it suits them to. It’s such a cruel and psychologically damaging thing to do to a friend. As for the others, clearly none of them have got the backbone to include you for fear of also being ostracised by everyone else. Again, a common story. shame on them.

Do whatever the fuck you feel like and ditch her, she’s not your friend. Personally I’d leave, if you can salvage any enjoyment then for sure stay, but for your own self esteem, protect yourself from this nonsense, you don’t owe them anything

She sounds pretty selfish.

I'd still go home since you miss your family. I'd want to be around people who care about me.

I’d ask your so called friend why she asked you to come. No more than that; Why did you ask me to come? Then listen to what she says and just stay quiet.

It’s pretty clear you are not the annoying one.

Treat the next 3 days like a solo holiday, read your book, swim, go out, have lovely meals at different places. Screw your "friend" and the rest of the mean girls.

They all (inc your ‘friend) sound absolutely fucking awful.
I wouldn't stay for the next 3 days.
I’d do as other posters have said, and leave and not tell them. Then if your ‘friend’ does ever enquire as to your whereabouts explain about her and her packs’ rude and obnoxious behaviour. Then fuck her right off for good.

She's an influencer? I'd have such fun with Instagram.

I wouldn't want to make the trip home with them, OP. I'd see if I could get a flight tomorrow.

If it's only a few days, I would stay and make it the best solo holiday you can possibly have. If you bump into them, fine, but otherwise just go and do all the things you want to do when you want to do them. I really feel for you though, it is a horrible thing to experience, especially the nagging doubt of what you might have done or what might be wrong. There is nothing wrong with you or your company OP. They sound like arsehole and you wouldn't gel with them because you aren't one. It sounds as though your own company is better than theirs anyway, so try and enjoy it.

Sending you much love and warmth. Feeling very sad for you reading this. I think you should plan some lovely things for yourself, and then never see or speak to this “friend” again.

What a bunch of immature bitches
I'm sure you haven't done anything
You've made every effort to engage with them and show interest so please don't be down on yourself
If you can enjoy yourself exploring the area do that, but if you'd feel uncomfortable( I would) then see if you can change your flight. Pack up and leave and message them from the airport
Find new friends when you're home
I'm really sorry

I agree with others, you sound very sweet and emotionally intelligent - I guarantee it's not something you've done, they sound like a bunch of adult high school bitches!!!

What you have at home is priceless OP. These are just shallow airheads, not friends and not nice people.

Can you facetime the DC and then get on a plane early? These people aren't worth a second of your time. Let that part of your life go.

You poor thing - that sounds awful. If there’s only a few days left, I’d just go and do your own thing and enjoy the time on your own.Have a massage, read a book make the most of it.
Maybe you can text friend and say something like - ,’I’m not sure what’s going on here but I just want to enjoy the rest of my time away so will be flying solo from now on. Happy to do a coffee and debrief when we return to Uk if you’d like x’

All of this up here, OP!
Don’t seek them out. Forget them. Don’t feel embarrassed or low.
Join a group tour one day. Go to a museum. Get your book and your drink, and relax by the pool.

Use the time to be lovely to yourself. That’s very powerful - you’ll feel better about it.

They sound like arsehole and you wouldn't gel with them because you aren't one.

This.

If you have a separate room and can do your own thing, try to enjoy your remaining days on your own. Perhaps do an excursion if the hotel arranges anything, or do some treatments or classes. Have room service if you can. Spend as little time as possible with these awful women. I’d your selfish friend ever asks, tell her she and her group are the rudest, most immature bunch you have ever met and you don’t want to spend a second more with them, especially her.

Whatever you think you’ve done to upset/annoy them would pale into insignificance compared to their treatment of you. You’ve done nothing wrong.

God just go off and do your own thing

Fuck them

How about staying but pleasing yourself, OP? Stop trying to be actively pleasant. Make your own arrangements for the day — choose something you'd like to do, somewhere you'd like to go and just go and do it. Come down to breakfast and don't try to be smiley and chatty, just take your breakfast outside and listen to a podcast in the sun. Go on a little adventure on a local bus, take a day trip — anything that will enable you to feel independent and not reliant on them. Do it for you.

I once booked a place on a small-group walking holiday which turned out to be full of people who knew each other and had come away together. They had no interest in me and it felt very isolating. After trying to bond and failing, I just did my own thing — and then eventually people came and talked to me and wanted to get to know me, by which time I didn't care.

I think it depends on what will make you most comfortable. Either go home without telling anyone as don’t see the point to make any effort with them. Or relax away from the clique and just ignore them. Say hi if they greet you but just be polite. I know some hotels organise day trips or excursions if you ask the reception. Or look for a tourist information point for these type of things. You can interact with different people from different countries during these trips as well.

You sound like a lovely, considerate person. They sound like a bunch of vicious bitches and do not deserve your company. Please stop trying to find reasons as to why they may not like you, they haven't even given you a chance, which suggest they are a nasty lot and simply not worth a thought.
I would leave early or do your own thing for the remainder of the trip, then dump your friend and spend time with people who love you.
I feel really bad for you but hoping that the support from Mumsnetters helps a little.
Sending hugs x

Can you enjoy your last few days on your own ? If you can ... sip cocktails by the pool, read books etc and enjoy the little break and nice weather.

If that's not for you then get in a plane. Life is too short