Aibu to want to go home

[geekygirldoesnotfitin]

Hi

A friend of mine asked me to go on holiday with her and a few of her friends. I don't know these friends but she begged me saying she really wanted me there. I agreed and paid for my trip.

When I turned up to the airport there were two different groups of her friends. Neither group really know each other but both groups are close friends.

That's fine. I only know my friend who asked me to come but was happy to get to know others.

Since we arrived I have chatted and asked about each person and got on with the holiday. Some of the friends have chatted here and there.

My friend has tended to stick with one group in particular and I haven't had much chance to spend time with her. Again fine with me normal as I don't expect to me joined at the hip.

It's become very obvious that I'm the odd one out. For whatever reason people don't seem to want to engage with me. I have reflected to make sure I haven't said or done anything to hurt or upset anyone and I honestly don't think I have.

Initially it was just them chatting amongst themselves but now they are actively avoiding me.

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.
I'm a bit quieter than most but I do chat and show an interest.

Yesterday I became very unwell unexpectedly and had to lay down in my room for the afternoon. This morning the groups had made plans and I tagged along with one. I ended up walking behind alone as they were walking next to each other and there was no room unless I stepped in the road. When I came down this morning after being in my room poorly no one said hello but when someone else came just after they made a big fuss and had already messaged the person to check they were ok.

I'm a big girl and can accept that people don't like me or don't want me around but it seems the more I go do my own thing the more they are annoyed when I return.

I feel quite alone and confused.

I'm the only one here who is a mum with young dc. I miss my dc and feel like I should try get a flight home early on my own. If I was able to be involved and felt welcome that would be fine but I just can't seem to do the right thing and I'm starting to feel self conscious and a bit upset.

I have a few days left and I'm not sure what to do for the best.

I'm so sorry, OP. For what it's worth, based off of your comments, you don't sound annoying at all; you sound like an understanding, well-rounded person. Get yourself home and back to your DC if you can and at least you know not to involve yourself with this so called "friend" in the future x

Don't pretend there's an emergency etc leave silently they'll know why.

I would go home if I could afford it.
What a horrible group of girls - or two!
Go home to people you really love.

If you can go home early I would there is no excuse for people to treat you like this even if you aren’t part of an existing friendship group, your “friend” deserves binning

I imagine it is simply they don’t want to make the effort with someone new and are happy in the group they’ve already got. They do sound awful though. The one to blame the most if your ‘friend’ how awful of her to persuade you then leave you to it!

I wouldn't have lasted as long as you have, I'd be off. Wouldn't even bother telling anyone, just pack my shit and leave.

She isn't your friend, nasty bitches.

Don't feel obliged to do any more of the group things with them- unless you choose to do so.

I imagine group dinner /drinks will end up being quite strained- and expensive. Spend some time now working out a nice solo dinner. And work out a nice trip / excursion tomorrow.

Just go off and do your own thing, you don't need them to gave a good time

What utterly rude, immature bitches. I’m so sorry this has happened to you OP. It is not you, it’s them. Your “friend” included.

I don't understand why your friend insisted you come. It must be very confusing and upsetting for you. I hope you can make a good holiday out of the last few days for yourself, doing things you like and avoiding that pack of bitches.

Gosh sounds horrible!

Don't go home.

It will cost more money that can be better spent elsewhere.

Drop the group and have some time to yourself. Is there a trip that would interest you, or a museum. Or just read or do nothing and cherish the time where you can do nothing. You will be home soon in the lovely chaos of parenting so use this time now to spend time on you.

This is exactly what I'd do- go home silently whilst they were out and when she asks why I'd tell her exactly why. Then I'd cut her off.

I dont believe for one second she isnt aware- she has eyes.

What a bunch of cunts. Honestly why are people like this?

I went away recently and had never met 3 of the women on the trip but we all made an effort and got to know each other. Even if one hadn't been someone I connected with I still wouldn't have left them out and neither would they.

I think I'd be tempted to ask the group what the hell is going on. If they're going to be dicks you might as well call them out and tell them how awful they're being.

If you can find stuff to do, go off on your own and do your own thing. Or go home if you really feel you need to.

I certainly wouldn't be trailing behind those arseholes.

They sound awful. It sounds a bit odd that 2 groups of friends who don’t really know each other have gone away and don’t seem to be mixing much. Your ‘friend’ sounds awful with no empathy, she begged you to come and now can’t even be bothered to make sure you’re included and comfortable.

You’ve done what you can to integrate and you would hope some of them would have been nice enough to include you just for this holiday even if you were unlikely to become part of the group. What I would do next would depend on where the holiday was and your own circumstances, with no thought to these awful women. Go home early if you want and don’t think twice about how that will look to them. But if there’s somewhere local you’d like to explore, a spa nearby, sightseeing then stay and do that. I think I would probably go home as it must be a very unpleasant atmosphere with them actively leaving you out.

Sod the lot of them.

Enjoy some time to yourself, reading and relaxing in the sun, having a swim. Do a bit of shopping, check out a museum, whatever most appeals to you.

They are rude and unpleasant.

I can see slipping out and not telling them is tempting but I don't think it would give the message they need. Is there a WhatsApp group for the trip?

For eg they were all in the pool chatting so I got in and they got out. When I got out a few minutes later they all got back in.
During conversations I chip in and get ignored. I try to repeat myself but give up joining in as it's obvious I'm an annoyance.
Both groups decided to go to the bar and asked each individual but missed me out.

How incredibly childish! How old are these people? 13? This is the kind of pathetic shenanigans you'd expect from highschoolers. I'd book the soonest flight home and never talk to that "friend" again. It sounds almost like she brought you along to bully you.

They sound like mean girls. I wouldn't waste any more of your holiday on them- get a flight home.

I went away recently and had never met 3 of the women on the trip but we all made an effort and got to know each other. Even if one hadn't been someone I connected with I still wouldn't have left them out and neither would they.

Yep. Because that is how adults and decent human beings behave. Sorry OP has got stuck with people who aren’t.

I think the fault here lies firmly with your friend who invited you, in the knowledge you knew nobody else. She should've made the extra effort to include you at all times. This whole thing with two separate groups seems a bit weird as well. Surely everyone makes a bit of an effort to get on with others on holiday, while still each being able to do your own thing.
I don't think you should leave. For starters the expense. Unless you can get a sooner flight for free I'd just stick it out. Enjoy the surroundings.
I think if I were you I'd be giving your friend a wide berth after this as you'd have never ever paid to go on holiday if you knew you'd simply feel excluded.
Lastly, it sounds like you might benefit from some counselling maybe. The way you speak of yourself, 'annoying, big' etc. I think you need to try and give yourself time to work on self esteem.
Maybe read some mindfulness or self help literature while you're still there? Try and make the most of this experience even though your friend has treated you badly.
You deserve to be happy.

I'm sorry op you're being treated like this, its not you it's them you sound lovely they sound like their still in school. If you can afford it get an early flight if you can't get a magazine and a cocktail and go and lay round the pool and enjoy the peace. ❤️

This person is NOT your friend. She would/should be going out of her way to make you feel comfortable in.that kind of.dynamic.
I wouldn't want to spend another night never mind 3 somewhere I'm clearly not wanted.
They are a pack of ignorant fcukers, fcuk them and fcuk your so called friend.
I would leave without saying a word. (Provided you can afford it).

This is so horrible for you. I would defo get the friend to sit down and id tell her exactly what you've just told us. I would want to come home for sure.

Separate yourself from them, don't hang around for more poor treatment. Then either go home or do your own thing away from them, whichever you'd prefer. Fuming on your behalf 🤗