To cancel going to a wedding because I'm pregnant?

[indiiii]

I have a wedding to attend next weekend. For context, I live down south and the wedding is up north. A 5 hour ish drive dependent on traffic. I normally wouldn't have any problem doing this, I have travelled to all my friends weddings (I moved away years ago). But I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant and getting really uncomfortable driving to work even never mind that much of a long distance. I accepted the rsvp last year before I even knew I was pregnant, so can't be helped, but I think friends will fall out with me if I don't go... and part of me thinks rightly so as it's wasting their money, I really don't want to let them down. But I just underestimated how tired I'd still be in the 2nd trimester and the drive is crazy. Train is a no go too as so expensive unfortunately.

Help, I feel so bad but I just don't know what to do, I don't want to lose a friend over it!

I missed your update op, and I'm so glad that your friend has been understanding.!! Rest up and take care of yourself.

Great news in your update OP. As you say people experience pregnancy differently. At 32 weeks in my first pregnancy I had such bad pelvic girdle pain I was waddling everywhere and struggled a lot. At 39 weeks in my second one I drove myself 3h away to family and then to a spa hotel. I do think some women behave ridiculously when pregnant (eg my friend who refused to drive from when she found out she was pregnant as of course she couldn't be expected to drive WHILST PREGNANT! 🙄). But equally it can be bloody hard work and make you feel dreadful, why on earth would someone who is supposed to be your friend expect you to risk damaging your baby - because yes, stress can cause high BP and thus damage to the baby - because of a wedding?

She has sciatica which just got worse. Does it really matter whether it is pregnancy based on illness based?

And her friend is totally reasonable and told her not to go through pain for her.

Catch up!

She's got a decent friend.

Only just read your update OP. You have a lovely friend who really cares about you. That is a great outcome.

I was 21 weeks at my own wedding (wedding booked year before falling pregnant unplanned) so yes travelling and weddings are really hard work but it’s also very close to the big day and unless you end up on the sick from work I think I would be pretty miffed if I was the bride.
Sorry, I do know how some can suffer so much more than others all the way through so you have my sympathies

It's been sorted.

Friend was absolutely fine.

I had a few friends who started flaking out on things once they became pregnant, behaving in a really precious way etc. and lost most of their friends in the process. I don't think that's the case here at all.

I think OP has a genuine reason not to go. If possible I do think you should refund them the money to take the sting off the short notice, but if I were your friend I'd understand.

Thank you for the advice, some of us comment before updates, ‘catch up’!

What a lovely update. It's great to hear you have such a supportive and understanding friend
PGP can linger long after birth so it's important to listen to your body
I had sciatica with DS1 and that was agonising at times as he was pressing on the nerve

Some of these replies are absolutely awful.

Pregnancy affects everyone differently. I had a horrendous time, at 24 weeks I don't think I could have managed a 5 hour drive because I was so tired from getting so little sleep I wouldn't have felt safe. At that point I didn't think I had any complications but I did. Had to give up work at 28 weeks, I really really struggled. All people kept saying to me was "you think you're tired now, wait til you've got a baby".

To those of you saying that to OP, it's extremely unhelpful. I spent my last trimester terrified I wasn't going to be able to cope, but I was absolutely fine! Pregnancy made me feel like absolute shit, but that went away when I was no longer pregnant. I would take the newborn stage over pregnancy any day of the week.

Do what you need to do OP and please ignore anyone trying to make you feel bad about it.

Some of the replies on here are dreadful but I am glad your friend understood and she is a friend for life. Congratulations on your pregnancy OP and rest lots when you can. Every pregnancy is different. I had 3 awful pregnancies and wouldn't be able to go to a wedding at 24 weeks but my sister had 3 pregnancies and she was blooming and had lots of energy. No tireness where I had to go onto iron tablets throughout my pregnancies. Have you asked your midwife to check your iron levels? Once your baby is born you can see your friend. She sounds lovely.

If I were your friend I would understand completely and would want you to prioritise your own health and well-being over attendance at a wedding.

@Lyraloo do you have some sort of comprehension issues, your comment was well after the OPs update. It was actually the following day.

Do you know how to filter and read OPs updates?

You know all five of them, may save you time posting pointless answers.

Glad you have such lovely friends OP and you didn't listen to the suck it up bridge

I've been signed off due mostly due to pain since the start of the third trimester which started in the middle of the second so not "all women can" or more importantly should

Huh?

It's not like she's maid of honour.

I'd rather my friend put her feet up and had a chilled weekend.

Please ‘get a life’, and stop needlessly commenting on other people’s posts. We’re all entitled to an opinion!

@Lyraloo just trying to teach you how to be up to date with the OPs posts, you don't seem to know how.

You've commented incorrectly twice.

Get a life and don't waste it making irrelevant comments.

As I said OP and her lovely friend have sorted it, even though "she's only pregnant".

I can give my opinion as well.

@indiiii alls well that ends well
😊

That's a great resolution, OP. Glad your friend and her sister have been so great.
As someone who has had sciatica every single day for 12 years due to a back injury, you have my sympathy; it's so sapping. If you can find a good pregnancy physio, or pilates instructor, it can be pretty life improving. It's not cheap, but worth chucking some money at, in order to help learn some techniques.

😂😂😂😂😂 have a happy day. 🤷‍♀️

@Lyraloo and you!

Keep them posts coming...