Teacher married to non teacher

[allsummereverysummer]

It’s on my mind at the moment that I’m responsible for childcare every holiday until they are of an age they don’t really need it …

I know that’s obvious. I think it’s just I do the lions share of everything as it is. Feels like a long time to have them over the summer tbh.

I do pretty much everything. DH generally works away in the week although can sometimes wfh Mondays and Fridays. So makes my days with them loooong.

I think this is one of the reasons that teachers marry other teachers (I did)! I always think it's hard if not everyone in the house is on holiday at the same time. This has quite often happened to us as we are all in different counties. I'm always the one that matches the kids and it does feel like I 'shouldn't' have too much fun if DH is still at work. It changes the flow of the week if he still needs work night/ morning routines. It can also lead to resentment from the parent that's still working.
So, I don't think you're being totally unreasonable but like others have said- do try to remind yourself of the many many positives, (a busman's holiday can still be a nice one) and try and book at least a couple of days for yourself without children!

Why can't you a use holiday club? They are considerably cheaper than nursery. One day a week would make a big difference to how you feel.

Bully for you. The summer holidays aren’t such a joy for every family unfortunately. In my experience we’ll be dragging our way through the 6 weeks hoping that none of us have a breakdown. The op evidently feels like absolutely all the child care falling to her when she’s meant to have an equal partner is not all fun. The op deserves a little time to decompress (especially from the summer term which can be horrendous) and will need time to prep for September. It’s not all on her to find alternative options for the children they both share.

So work FT and kids can go to nursery 5 days.

I worked in schools as a nursery nurse/playworker and absolutely loved having the summer holidays off to spend with my children. How old are your children?

I would find that a lot.

I am always surprised that so many posters view term time working as desirable

But what will your DH use his annual leave for? I would ask him to do a few days at least over the summer

And my kids actually enjoy doing some clubs over the summer so I wouldn't feel guilty about that

To me it read that she's a teacher but her DH does childcare over the summer

I agree it’s a perk of the job. I am a teacher and I have only ever known one person who puts their child in childcare for the whole holidays like they did for the rest of the year. That is an option for you though!

When mine were younger I used to send them to an occasional holiday club.

It’s good for the family to have downtime without all the rushing around for school and activities.

Wont your partner have some annual leave?

I have Aug off but use childcare to give myself and dc a break!

Well that didn't take long ...

It's exhausting.

EVERY day of my holiday I have 3 kids to entertain.

If I want to do something I have to get DH to take a day of holiday!

This summer my eldest is finally old enough (13.5) to babysit his brother and sister for a couple of hours so I can go to the gym!

It's not so bad. We have a lot of fun.

You must struggle with reading then.

I think it’s just the age of your children, parenting little ones is absolutely relentless. Once the youngest gets a little older you’re going to have a fab time with them and will love your long summers!

The OP has two days a week child free.

Oh @allsummereverysummer, your reply at 7.50 does explain more.

It sounds like you're ok with this year, as you'll have 2 child free days a week with the kids in nursery. However, for the next 10 years or so you won't have that, as they'll age out of nursery.

There is no reason why you can't book a couple of sports camps or similar, depending on their interests. However, once they're at school you might find they are more welcoming of the chance to chill and potter at home, and another year more mature to not follow you into the loo / whinge incessantly. Don't look for things to worry about - ie future years of holidays - seasons change and a year in the life of a 4(?) Year old is massive.

I have always spent the bulk of holidays with the children and always enforced naps / quiet time in the middle of the day, letting them stay up late once DH was home from work and often going out as a family in the evening after a chilled day at home. You too will find strategies. Parenting is hard but there will be moments of joy in the holidays, promise.

By childcare I mean all different types; childminder/nursery when younger & now in primary there are loads of clubs that offer a short day, half day etc.

This.

You work PT, term time only so of course the bulk of the childcare falls to you! That doesn't mean it's all of it though.

Don't worry about next summer now, they'll be a year older and a year easier.

Besides, the summer holidays in England are so short, it's only six weeks! You'll get into a rhythm with it. And two whole days a week to yourself for those six weeks! Christ I would have killed for that when mine were that age.

Would love to be able to have the summer off with the kids! Alas I’ve got one week with them due to annual leave. You do realise that most parents don’t get any days off as we have to take all our annual leave when the kids are off and then we still have to pay a fortune for additional childcare as it’s not enough.

She does say he’s the teacher and she is not.

I do try to do what is best for the children and I feel for now it’s best they don’t have full time nursery / preschool - the little one would never cope, she’s already struggling with three days - but the days with them both last forever and while there are nice moments it’s exhausting and not massively enjoyable if I’m honest.

Im just conscious for the next two years I won’t have a break at all and that’s a tad daunting! But I will only have one child at a time in term time so that’s good

And has them fully the other 5 days. The issue is her husband not pulling his weight and that all childcare aspects, even putting them in nursery it seems, comes down to the op. It reads like she feels like a single parent in a two parent relationship. It must be exhausting.

So they are at nursery for some of the time.

It's a non issue compared to all the parents who are trying to organise child care for the next 6 weeks.

No I don’t @Martymcfly24 - they are preschool at the moment.

I will eventually have two days a week term time child free but that is not until 2028!

Is looking after your children much harder than teaching? I thought teaching was supposed to be really stressful.

Where I live, there is a private school that offers holiday club to all reception aged children and above. You don’t have to be a student at the school to use it and the school has great facilities.

Maybe there is something like that near you?