What are your true thoughts re this violent incident?

[Poiboi]

A woman finds out her fiance has cheated. In her anger she throws an object at the fiance - causing a split lip.

What are your honest thoughts on this violence.

I am neither person mentioned. I have witnessed surprising reactions to this ‘incident’ though. Shocked me tbh.

Totally agree with you. They were due to get married. In a second he ruined her envisioned future. Totally understandable to snap.

"Temporary insanity" is a defence to murder due to similar situations. A court would struggle to convict (unless there was a jury of mumsnetters, who love to judge!).

So a man who killed his partner if she was unfaithful, all good. Her fault really?

I wish I had written as well as that.
It is very bad, but it is normalised. There is pressure on MN and forums to present an ideal. If I went to a forum on cars, every poster would be a mechanical genius and great driver. On Mumsnet, most people claim to be perfect wives and mothers.

Of all the places to support victim blaming...

The insanity defence covers cases where a someone either didn't know what they were doing, or were sufficiently insane that they did not know that what they were doing was wrong.

It doesn't cover being so angry that you know something is wrong but do it anyway. Plenty of murderers are very, very, angry, but that doesn't enable them to claim insanity.

The man that killed three women this week was no doubt enraged by the fact that one of them had dumped him, furious beyond belief... but that's not the same as legally insane.

Not throwing things at your partner doesn't make you a perfect wife. That's an extremely low bar to set!

Genuinely, the people I've known who did this were in unhealthy, toxic relationships. I don't know anyone in a healthy relationship that would consider it normal.

Would you say the same about the ‘human’ who let his emotions get the better of him during the footy at the pub the other week and threw a full pint glass which hit my 19yo DD in the face and smashed, requiring treatment to multiple injuries including have a shard of glass removed from within 4mm of her eye?

Thought not.

Part of being an adult human is learning to express your emotions in a responsible manner.

Absolutely, I wonder if any of the supporters/apologists of the violence are mothers of sons, and would tell their child its their fault if their female partner assaulted them for 'reasons'.

What would most of us say to a woman who came on here, said her partner had lost it with her and split her lip? We'd tell her to go. If she said it was a one off we'd say it was the first time and wouldn't be the only time and we'd tell her to go.

He should thank his lucky stars he found out she was violent before he married her and she should be glad she found out about the infidelity. They are better off splitting up.

I hope she's OK.

There's another thread tonight where a man threw a toy that hit his wife on the face and split her lip. Almost 100% of responses are that she should go to the police. Would you say its OK, his emotions just got the better of him? I doubt it.

He is definitely worse and she should dump him and stay away.

Fuck @MintyCedric poor girl. I had my cheekbone fractured same age after getting caught in a bar fight between 2 groups. It did make me hyper vigilant and agoraphobic for a while so hope your daughter is getting support from victim support or similar.

I find it funny how the ones that are claiming that violence should never rear its ugly head even in a one off in the face of emotional violence are actually committing it with bullying here on this thread.

No, I don't see me as an oracle. But thanks for asking.

As for - It was only once, what's the fuss?' - those are your words, not mine.

Well I certainly don't see you as an oracle, that word came from you towards other posters and your words were We were asked to comment on one incident so that's where the 'one off' came from.

Well I certainly don't see you as an oracle ummm, okay 😂

I said 'we were asked to comment on one incident' and your interpretation of that was 'it was only once, what's the fuss'. That's a bit of a twist, don't you think?

I think a lot of people are attributing this to a sudden flash of uncontrollable anger where the woman didn't know what she was doing.

And yet OP said, that she didn't think she would hit him due to having a poor aim. That doesn't sound like someone who responded involuntarily. It sounds like someone who made a concious decision to throw the item (albeit they are shocked by the damage it did).

Thanks. Physically she got off pretty lightly in the grand scheme of things…mentally…remains to be seen.

Victim Support don’t do that kind of counselling apparently and as she’s home from uni but registered with GP in uni town we’ve not been able to get anything in place.

She’s been out a couple of times since it happened, but won’t go out on nights when there’s footy on or to bars with screens.

She’s off on hols at the weekend though so hoping that might help.

It would depend on the situation.

Correct. Totally different circumstances.

Jesus wept. You need to have a good look at yourself.

Because I understand law? (Yes, I do have a law degree).

I'd be interested to know how many examples there are in law of a partner killing their partner because they'd just found out they were unfaithful, with no previous abuse or coercive control etc, and not being found guilty of a crime?