What are your true thoughts re this violent incident?

[Poiboi]

A woman finds out her fiance has cheated. In her anger she throws an object at the fiance - causing a split lip.

What are your honest thoughts on this violence.

I am neither person mentioned. I have witnessed surprising reactions to this ‘incident’ though. Shocked me tbh.

There would be none, it would always be a crime to kill someone.

I just stated temporary insanity is a defence to murder. Even if the court accepted that defence they would still be guilty of manslaughter.

I was just using this as a general example that situations are complicated. You can't have a blanket response based on the OPs given set of circumstances as there isn't enough information. If Mumsnetters ruled the country there would be no point to having a court system! People are quick to judge on here (and are all perfect wives and parents).

No, I don't think you do understand the law very well. And I dont think you understand the difference between the law and morality.

Temporary insanity does not apply here, the tests for insanity are simply not met.

The fact that men have historically been able to use a defence of "provocation" when they killed adulterous wives is an example of patriarchy - the wife was seen as the man's property. The last man to use this defence was convicted of manslaughter instead, and the defence no longer exists in UK law.

But the existence of that defence does not mean that such murders were the wife's fault, which is what you said above. Law and morality are two very different things.

I didn't say temporary insanity applied here. I also didn't say such a murder would be the wife's fault. Yes law and morality are different, I agree. I didn't say they were the same.

You said "it would depend", in response to the question "Her fault?" Which means that you were saying yes, it could be her fault.

Which is patriarchal bullshit. Nobody is responsible for their partner killing them. Ever.

Violence is never ok

It depends does not mean yes...?!

"It depends" means - the answer could be yes or no. So you were saying the answer could be yes.

If you say "it would depend" in answer to the question:

"So a man who killed his partner if she was unfaithful, all good. Her fault really?"

Then you are saying that, it could be her fault really.

And that is why I said you needed to take a look at yourself. Saying that a murder victim could be responsible for their own killing is not a good look.

It's not great to throw things, but understandable in the circumstances. But it is assault and so she could be charged if he reported it to the police.
In moral terms, I don't think she is any worse than him. I'd still be friends with her.

How about we rephrase - does this make my point clearer?

"A man rapes a woman, but she provoked him by leading him on in bed. Her fault really?"

"It would depend"

You cannot answer "it depends" to a question like that unless you think that the victim could be at fault.

I also think that all the women on this thread who are defending the use of violence when someone is angry/emotional should maybe have a think about which group of people have benefited from this idea in the past.

Because it isn't women. It's the men who beat, kill and rape us and then claim we made them do it.

I think this thread has really got off track. I was just using an example of something different to explain not everything in life is black and white. Humans, morals, emotions etc are full of grey areas. Have a lovely weekend everyone, I enjoyed the debate ☀️

She reacted in a bad way, I don't think you can come back from that

exactly, particularly if she gets the same advice from people that it's his fault she assaulted him, so of course no problem doing it again if she thinks he's wronged her.

I mean it's not great, but it's not that bad really. If it became something that happened sometimes I'd feel differently though. Also probably depends on the picture frame, range, velocity. If my OH meant me harm she'd hit me with the picture frame directly and I'd take that more seriously.

What we would take away from this is that she actually can throw.

Not trying to diminish what may be a more serious situation to the bloke in question, but in my own situation this is how I'd view it, short of a concerted effort to maim or kill me I'm pretty forgiving, she's not exactly an expert in these fields

So she threw it in rage, but he got accidentally hit? That’s very different.

He was wrong to cheat. She shouldn’t have thrown something but understandable, it’s unfortunate he was hit.

It's quite hard to throw something nowhere near someone and to accidentally hit them. Let's not pretend that she didn't throw it in his direction.