To be really, genuinely annoyed we have to go through menopause

[OptimismvsRealism]

Honestly it's hard not to suspect that nature hates women - I feel like a second class member of the species

I hate the constant anxiety in my life now, hate that the choice to have a baby is probably gone, hate that no one respects older women (I always did!! I knew this would come for me eventually!), hate how long it takes to be "ready" for sex now

Why isn't this cured yet? If men had menopause it would be.

And I'm only 42 so fully expect a decade of sorrow ahead
Fuck this!!

YANBU. It sucks.

Ageing sucks. I’m really shocked by all the effects of ageing. I thought you just got a bit wrinklier and a bit slower. But no! It’s so much more than that!

And men can just look after themselves a bit and be fine into their sixties I am so sad feel all the good bits are behind me and I didn't even enjoy them that much

Menopause sucks. I entered surgical menopause aged 36 in 2022 and it was awful. No one talked to me about it, I'm not allowed HRT and have just suffered alone. I'm very lucky in that mostly I only suffer with hot flushes/sweats and weight gain but yeah, feels deeply unfair after a lifetime of periods and hormones we then have to suffer years of the opposite problem!

It’s not the menopause though concur that is shit so much as aging. Dd2 15 said so sorrowfully as an old couple hobbled in front of the car “I hate that we all have to age”. It’s that.

Sat with a man elderly farmer client the other day overlooking his field that he always farmed but couldn’t anymore and it looked a right state. He actually started crying.

Christ it's so sad. The human condition is nightmarish why aren't we all constantly in a state of panic??

There are lots of good things about it too. I am so thrilled I will never have to have another period.
I don't feel invisible or disrespected most of the time ( while acknowledging the larger problem of ageism in the workplace)
I am way more confident and less anxious than before in some areas.
I am having a lot more fun than I did when I was 42, thanks to DC having grown up.
A decade of sorrow is a bit of overkill.

Menopause and after has been the best time of my life. I love being an older woman. No one disrespects me. Why would they?

My friend has gone through menopause twice and she’s not even 40 yet and she says it’s actually really empowering once you get through it because you are so much more confident and don’t have any more fucks to give. Plus she still looks absolutely banging. Take the HRT as early as poss is her advice!

It’s menstruation that’s the real problem. Most animals don’t. I think I was anaemic for about ten years.

I felt like this when I had my first period. I was gutted, didn't know what it was at first (was 11). Not that long ago we also probably didn't live to menopause age so it's relatively new in history.

I was very lucky as I didn't even notice the menopause- I had the mirena coil in for heavy periods, and was very happy to say goodbye to them!
Growing older isn't always bad, and as my Dad used to say, much better than the alternative!

Well I never really cared about periods. I suppose in theory it would make it easier to go and work somewhere adventurous for an NGO or something but I'm already crippled with anxiety sitting at my desk for my suburban office job so not convinced I'll be capitalising on that.

I am so miserable and have been constantly for longer than I can remember and honestly I don't want what comes next.

I'm with @CharlotteRumpling, I feel pretty good as far as menopause goes. (Don't worry, I have other issues 😃)

I hate the fact that my mind will frequently play me an embarrassing flash back from the past, and I will visibly cringe. Like, why? I don’t need to be reminded of these things that happened 40 years ago!
And why does my mind have me waking up worrying about things that will probably never happen, or going back over conversations I’ve had, wondering if that person thinks I’m mad/wrong.

If you are struggling like that then HRT could well help - see a doctor

I'm glad to hear the positive stories btw I guess maybe the life I chose wasn't that sustainable

I think old age is going to be so scary and lonely for me

Gah

I found my periods really crippling and have recovered a week of my life every month. if you are crippled with anxiety, I think you need to get some help ( if you haven't already), It doesn't have to be like that. Not saying I don't get anxious, but I manage to still enjoy my life most days, and I am a decade older than you.

I can't imagine ever really wanting sex again either I miss wanting it for its own sake

Whales are the only other creature to go through the menopause. I don’t know why but this comforts me somehow.
The thing that really pisses me off is how difficult it is to lose weight and how very easy it is to put on.

I love being post menopausal. No periods! It's brilliant - like being 12 again! So freeing. My long term anaemia had gone. Also, I've become more confident and less of a people pleaser. I'm not controlled by hormones and don't care if random men don't find me attractive.
It was a tough couple of years, but it's great now!

I wonder if this is why orcas are so cross

Yes, I miss the sex that I used to have too. I miss the bond that it gave us, now me and DH are just two people who live together.
And no, HRT isn’t the holy grail that cures all HRT symptoms, like it’s sometimes portrayed.

I’m through it now at 56. Have to say I do feel better about myself, so there are swings and roundabouts @OptimismvsRealism
You truly do start accepting and respecting yourself.

I feel that menopause is not the reward that women should have for bearing and raising the next generation.