To be really, genuinely annoyed we have to go through menopause

[OptimismvsRealism]

Honestly it's hard not to suspect that nature hates women - I feel like a second class member of the species

I hate the constant anxiety in my life now, hate that the choice to have a baby is probably gone, hate that no one respects older women (I always did!! I knew this would come for me eventually!), hate how long it takes to be "ready" for sex now

Why isn't this cured yet? If men had menopause it would be.

Not really

If you made it through childhood and child birth you could expect to live to the biblical 3 score and 10

I rather love menopause though - the middle bit with hormones and periods was much more unpleasant for me

Just to add an 'oldies' version of surviving the menopause.
I am 77, went through the menopause 30 years ago - and I have more confidence now than I did then as I really do not care about looks - only about keeping healthy and mobile.

HRT was not such a thing then and I never took it as there was a worry about a close family member having had breast cancer.

My son had left home and I was a ex 'single' parent working full-time. I came through it over only a few years -hysterectomy at age 63 to sort out the prolapse.

Now - I have osteoarthritis but can walk the dog for an hour a day and have no crumbling joints or dementia, I do all my own gardening and housework, I am compos mentos and hope to continue that way to 90!

I did have a thought about how some women have far worse times - did they start their periods earlier (I was 16!) - were they on the pill for 30 years or more. As other posters have mentioned could it be something in the lifestyle of those who need help to get through it? -
For me - no more periods,and living on my own most of my life was liberating.

My first sign of menopause was when my periods stopped. I had one heavy period in the April and that was the last one. I was 45. My main symptom then was hot flushes which I still experience now 7 years later. It’s manageable though. With all the new info around menopause I guess a few other symptoms I’ve experienced could be put down to menopause who knows .

They genuinely didn’t.

Infant mortality was very high, and death in childbirth was a huge risk. But if you survived those you would live to a right old age.

The figures are hugely skewed by those two factors.

I have read the whole thread but yes to it all.

I have hated my fertile years. Years and years of period issues and pain, not being listened to by endless male gynaecologists, endless uncomfortable gynae procedures, anaemic for so long that I ended up needing infusions only to find at the age of 51 that I actually have endometriosis and the uterine ablation I was told would cure my issues has actually pushed the endometriosis into my uterus causing adenomyosis (all because the gynaecologist failed to pick up my endometriosis years ago) and even more pain and now I have a year long wait for them to do anything about it.

And if that wasn’t punishment enough I’ve not been one of the lucky ones on here who claim they sailed through the menopause oh no, nature decided that I’d have an extra shit time with peri and all my existing issues such as IBS and anxiety have gone into overdrive causing me daily hell which seems to show no signs of easing.

And because of the endometriosis, hrt just makes it all worse so I’m stuck feeling like shit. Day in day out.

I despise being a woman.

Not everyone has a bad menopause OP.

Like not everyone has horrible pregnancies/periods.
Not everyone has a heart attack or a stroke or diabetes. I could go on.

Some of the above we can affect and increase or decrease the likelihood of them happening, but obviously, some we can't.

I'm 55 and genuinely have few menopause symptoms.

No abnormal anxiety, a bit of brain fog/forgetfulness, occasionally warm moment (but not what others describe as hot flushes), and my sleep has been crap for 20 years.

Whether I am genetically lucky or not, I don't know, but all my Dad's family died of CVD in their 60's and 70s, so I have that to consider. I'll be delighted to live into old ages, even with the downside that may bring

Sorry I should have been more specific.

By naturally I meant without surgical or other physiological conditions that could result in an early menopause eg addisons disease, CAH etc

I wasn't trying to imply starting menopause in your early 40s can only be down to diet either.

I think this is a good point. It's a well known fact that UPF's/western diets can majorly impact our health (both male and female) so it stands to reason that symptoms of any condition (i.e. menopause) are going to be exacerbated by the so called 'foods' that make up a high percentage of our diets.

Menopause has become a 'serious business' because, in general, women are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and side lined. Again, yes, this could be because of the diet we eat so we could do a lot more for ourselves I expect.

As an aside, my female (in her 30s) GP refused to believe my long list of symptoms had anything to do with menopause until I mentioned hot flushes and dry skin. She didn't believe (know) that menopause also causes anxiety to increase, to cause brain fog, muscle and joint issues...GP's do not get sufficient training on menopause and my visit to the GP was indicative of this. Absolutely shameful when it affects half the population!

I'm exactly the same, but it doesn't make me feel better. I think because I always had this hope that things would improve, that I would grow into my looks and become more glamorous, that as I got older and more secure I'd be less anxious. But none of that has happened, and I feel like the chance is gone.

In response to PP, I don't eat a Western diet and never have. Lots of vegetables, lentils, no meat, a bit of fish, almost zero UPF. Not entirely sure it makes that much difference, but it is the way I was brough up, so easier just to continue with that.....

Not in the numbers we see today. People died of infectious diseases such as the plague, cholera, diphtheria as well as sepsis, cancer etc. in much larger numbers than they do today.

So sorry @Theyearwas1973 your situation sounds horrendous💐
To me, it's not so much being a woman, as the way women's health has been blatantly dismissed or diminished by the male-dominated medical professional in all cultures, all through history.
So no help and a lot of harm.

I thought it was wonderful.

No period.
No PMT.
No buying san pro.

As a teen I had terrible periods alongside D and V, spots, flooding, javelin arse, pain, clots. You name it I got it.

er I really don’t think my early menopause is due to “sweeteners”. All the women in my family started in their early 40s.

Look ageing is weird... Just as you work shit out everything starts to drop off! But I would say the alternative to ageing is being dead. My Mum died at the age I am now so yea, it's a pain in the arse but I relish it too. Menopause again, annoying but there's also the joy of having zero fucks to give... Just make sure you have an excellent doctor who listens and a lot of the symptoms can be mitigated.

I feel fucked off too OP. You are not alone. I have an autoimmune condition and wild lack of executive function now as a product of hormonal shifts and Covid. I’m getting crippling brain fog and anxiety. HRT which I have been on since I was 45 has cut down the hot flushes which is something good but I am totally debilitated by what peri or meno has done to me. The breezy minimisation mindset advocates doesn’t help. Why has this thread decided that ‘most women’ don’t get anxiety, when it’s a known menopausal symptom?

People who post on these threads saying it’s been fine for them are just very very lucky. Especially if you have independent children, love your job, get regular holidays, look forward to a comfortable retirement. I’m happy for you but my life has been devastated over the past few years by hormones.

Increased anxiety around the menopause is extremely common actually. I was never an anxious person but I found myself being ridiculous sometimes over little things and having to have a strong word with myself to talk myself down. I also became more stressed about big things.
Not any more, now I'm past it, but it really is a common symptom.

What in the hell is javelin arse???

Don't understand why you're wasting your energy being annoyed about something that is inevitable! And some women have no symptoms at all. It can't be 'cured', surely there's bigger priorities for medical science. I think the majority of people's lifestyles make it worse - lack of activity, too much ultra processed food, too much alcohol.

My periods are very heavy so will be pleased to be rid of them but I hear you about the anxiety. Hit me like a truck when I was around 40 and now I’m on anxiety meds.

If you had ever had it you would know.

It's pain that feels like someone is sticking something up your arse.

Everyone ages. Men just deal with different challenges.

And I have a friend suffering with cancer, which puts everything into perspective.

Humans just aren’t really designed to live as long as we do.

If you are rich enough, there is lots you can do about menopause. It isn’t discrimination by sex, it is discrimination by money. Pharmaceutical companies put money into research into drugs that will give them a long term income stream,so menopause is very investable.

Thanks for clearing that up!

This