To be upset with the schools punishment of 5 year old

[HelloWorld2577]

Evening all!

Just wanted a bit of advice, my 5 year old son’s behaviour is VERY challenging. He started a mainstream primary school in September as he is autistic, but high functioning and wasn’t diagnosed until end of year with ASD.

My concern is how my child’s school are managing his behaviour and whether the strategies are age/ASD appropriate.

Most days my son’s being taken out of his class, by the deputy head teacher. He’s spending 1-2 hours in his office at times, doing minimal interactive activities, and today my son told me he was taken into another class room and made to sit on a chair in the corner whilst other children were playing.

My concern is he is 5 years old! These strategies I would expect once in year 2/3 not in reception, and IMO excluding him from the class/activities etc doesn’t change his behaviour or stop him repeating it sadly.

Due to him talking and distracting others he isn’t even allowed carpet time with peers which he really wants to do. I just feel like they’re excluding him from everything and it’s really upsetting me as it’s not his fault! He doesn’t have a 1:1 yet as isn’t able to get EHCP until next year.

Just for reference the things he is doing are speaking when teacher is, opening the class door and going outside when it is learning time & generally being disruptive. I know it’s challenging but no violence etc.

AIBU to raise my concerns with the school? Do you think their strategies are age and ASD appropriate?

TIA x

That seems harsh for reception and I wouldn't be happy.

No I don't this it's appropriate. If the deputy head is available to be with him, it would be better for them to be with him within the class, supporting him to behave appropriately. Or to work with him one-on-one outside of the class, but not to just be sat in an office.

Why can't he have an EHCP until next year? What's their theory of change - how is what they are doing supposed to help him?

What is your solution tho? Most importantly what is your solution which doesn’t impact the other children. If my child was having their day disrupted by your child id be very unhappy.

sounds like you want other children as collateral damage so your child can have carpet time.

Sounds like they can’t meet his needs or are not willing too.

Also, that isn't 'very challenging'.

I’d say it is in fact.

Nope, I don't think it's at all age appropriate, nor is it a logical nor helpful consequence to challenging behaviour from an Autistic pupil.

What SEN support is in place and have you met with the SENCo recently to discuss your concerns?

He has to have a certain amount of Individual Learning Plans before they can apply for the EHCP. So this means they can’t access further funding from the council to help fund him a 1:1 which would massively help.

I would ask for a meeting with the senco and ask what tactics are being trialed and used to support your son. I would suggest posting this in another group with parents with ASD children as they can give you suggestions, you can then take these suggestions with you to put forward.
I don't think the consequences are going to support your son with making the choices or acting in the way they wish. His behaviour may escalate as he'll end up hating school.
Reward charts, social stories, using carpet time as a carrot to work towards, flash cards or laminated images on a keyring of things he needs to focus on (maybe just one or two things). What is being put in place to manage the change into Yr1 where activity time reduces and sitting at desks is the new norm?
So many tactics out there that don't include sitting in the corner watching others play. And if he managed to sit there and follow those instructions while kids played in front of him, I would suggest there are ways to work with him to manage the situation because that takes a lot for an adult to do never mind a child with ASD.

You can raise an EHCP when you want....I've had 2 year olds start them. School often don't want to because if they compare a child to the EYFS goals high functioning children can pass as being on target.....until year 1.
Change schools. Start the EHCP.....do you use childcare?

Is this his version of events or have the school confirmed this happened this way?

OP you might get more considerate and understanding responses if you posted in a SEN thread. Saves you having to deal with comments like the one I've quoted.

The strategies aren't age or disability appropriate.

Are you able to move him to a different school? Only because there are schools that have more awareness of autism and don't play games with getting an EHCP.

I'm in Ireland and in reading these threads about how autistic children are treated by your education system, it disgusts me.
Your child is being denied an education and being punished for behaviour which he struggles to control.

I'm a teacher. If a child is being disruptive then they need to be removed from the classroom.

The length of time here does seem very long. In my school, the ta would take him outside and wait until he has calmed, then try again in class and rinse repeat.

Of course this means the class loses their TA, and god forbid there is another disruptive or challenging child in the class.

Schools are doing what they have to do to survive each day imo.

They had to resort to that for a kid in my ds's class, he was disrupting the other children from learning, and causing a quite stark disruptive issue by continually trying to get out the classroom, not understandign to sit still, yes he had needs but the other 29 children also had needs. the school ended up starting a programme for children that needed additional help understating peaceful behaviour which helped (not much if any 1:1 assistance in classroom), and that helped to a degree.

My son is made to sit alone at a table at the back of the classroom (he used to sit with an Adult but he would speak to the adult so now they won’t even sit with him) whilst his peers have carpet time & story time etc. Him speaking to his friends is hardly disrupting them it’s just frustrating for the teacher which I understand but they’re unwilling to provide him with a 1:1 to support him. they’re just removing everything from him instead of helping.

'Very challenging' is a kid hitting, or throwing scissors, or threatening violence. Chatting when they're not supposed to and running out of the room is at worst mildly naughty and at best a kid overwhelmed by the classrom.coping as best he can.

Have they suggested or tried ear defenders, fidgets, chewies, a wobble cushion or anything of the sort? Would they let you send him in with anything of the sort? Does he get any movement breaks?

And I absolutely knew you would have ableist shit spouted at you too.
Everybody is entitled to an education.

What stood out for me the most is he's an eloper and a flight risk. That's very high needs in a mainstream classroom as regards safety.. I'm in Ireland so not sure of the UK system but that would be called a primary care needs and would grant access to a Special Needs Assistant.
It sounds like he does need movement and sensory breaks throughout the day. Is there any way he could access these.This would help him cope with the demands of the classroom. Im not sure how to answer your original question because while it does not sound ideal in my career I have had to make choices for the greater good of all students that didn't always sit right with me.

If he's opening the door and escaping the classroom then what is the teacher supposed to do?

That's simply not true. And, you can apply, rather than the school.
My daughter's primary school insisted that they would need 4 cycles of the Graduated Approach before applying.
I thought "fuck that" and applied for an EHCNA.
EHCP itself was in place in under 20 weeks.

You are downplaying his behaviour. Leaving the class and going outside is a serious problem and I'm sure you'd be the first to be furious if anything happened to him. If they can't keep him in the classroom I'm not sure what else they can do until support is in place (and funded).

It is disrupting them though, it’s disrupting other kids learning and the teacher trying to teach. I’m not sure what you expect them to do if he can’t sit with other children without disrupting them, and keeps opening the door of the classroom which again is disrupting. They can’t provide a 1 to 1 until they get funding, where would the money come from?