To not take leave on the day we marry?

[Aashni]

DP and I get married next month. It’s a large event with many guests, but the religious ceremony isn't legally binding.
Because of this, DP and I are heading to our local registry office next week to do the legal part of the marriage. We don’t want this formality to overshadow our wedding next month, which we consider the actual day we marry. So, for the registry wedding, we aren’t having guests (just two acquaintances as witnesses), no vows or ring exchange, and we’d planned to work that day as usual (it’s over lunchtime).

When sharing our plans with friends and family, we’re told we’re crazy for not taking the day off to celebrate together. But to me, this day is merely a legal formality. DM insists it will be a special and emotional day regardless, and that it would be silly not to acknowledge it as we’ll never get that day back. WWYD?

Same

I can see where you’re coming from, but I think I’d feel pretty flat afterwards if I made this huge legal commitment, and then just had to go back to work afterwards like nothing had happened. Take the afternoon off and have a date with your new hubby. Wedding planning is stressful, use this as a moment to connect and enjoy eachothers company.

My daughter and now husband did this last year, registry office one week, big wedding at a venue the week after, we did all spend the day together, immediate family only, siblings and parents and then went out for a lovely dinner. We then had the "proper" wedding the week after ( we didn't tell anyone else they were already legally married) and did the whole thing again. It was amazing both times, the first so small and private and the second a great celebration.
This is how they wanted it and like you, saw the registry office as just a formality.

☝This. Have a lovely time.