To not look at this couple in the same way anymore?

[AvrilAprill]

At the end of last year I made friends with a mum who’d just moved to the area. We got on great, as did our partners.

However, I’ve now found out that they first got together when she was 16 and he was 20/21. It genuinely makes me feel uncomfortable knowing that, and my husband says I’m being weird

Why? Give us a rational explanation. You too, @AvrilAprill
Or are you both just passing judgement? But we know the answer to that question.
Neither of you are the aebiters of morality.
Less than 100 years ago, it was the norm to get married and have kids at 16; ffs, women are at their most fertile from late teens to late 20s.
Not everyone wants to stay in education, or have a career. They wanntcto be parents. Presumably you both are passing judgement because you had kinds at what you percieve to be a sensible age?
Some 16 year old are far more mature than the people on MN. A couple of names on this thread spring to mind immediately
Let's hope your kids don't end up pregnant or fathering a child at 16

14 and 18 is not the same as 16 and 20. Obviously the age gap is the same, but no one over 18 should be sniffing round someone under 16.

Pathetic

@Rosscameasdoody

im sorry your DH died so young & you've been deprived of your Golden Years together. I swear they don't make them the same anyone. It was a shorter time together than you should have had, but quality over quantity xx

You're being silly. I went on dates with a 20 year old when I was 16, but I was very mature so it didn't feel like there was any gap in our ages.

Your entire "case", insofar as you have one, is based on your presumption of sex between the two of them at that time. And a bunch of further presumptions about what that sex was like.

Stick your nose elsewhere.

This wouldn't even register on my radar.

So non-asults can join the army, legally get married, etc. But YOU don't think it is right...
It's like Les Dawson doing his Ada chatacter here. All folded arm under having bosums and gurning

When I was 16 I could easily pass for 20. I worked at week-ends and went to the pub with older friends hence my boy friends at the time tended to be around 20. But I was mature for my age and most 20 year old boys are not so the gap you're talking about was non existant in my situation. Give the couple a break, clearly it worked out fine. Look at Macron who met his then 40 year old wife when he was 16!!! Now, that was disgusting cause she was his drama teacher. But now decades later, who cares?

I don't think this is weird - it was pretty common when I was that age in the late 90s.

But I would say my teens would find it incredibly weird. It's not a thing at all at school to date anyone even out of your own year. That may change when they get to 6th form.

Wouldn't it be easier to hand a questionnaire out to people so potential friends know what you think is acceptable or not?

Why is it "grim"?

Oh they can!
Anyone with morals, or who thinks gentle parenting is a fucking ridiculous, is a dinosaur or an old person who has ruined life for the generations following..

Me neither.

I genuinely don't understand the problem. A 16 year old going out with a 20/21 year old? Why is this an issue?

Now that really is creepy

@myotherdogisadonkey
🤣🤣🤣

im 55 it was perfectly acceptable when I was a teenager,

It was all over Facebook and insta too

Twenty and on fb? Leave that to your nan 😂

I feel the same. Adults dating children will
always gross me out. I worry about the vulnerability of the younger party and find the older one either immature or predatory/creepy.

These responses are so contrary but it's not as funny as it normally is when it's discussing young girls.
I doubt very much any (female) poster here would be happy with their 16 year old dd seeing a 20 year old. The differences in life experience at these specific ages are huge.
I would judge my 20 year old son if he started seeing a 16 year old, I would worry about him choosing someone with NO life experience.
So to come on here and insist there's nothing wrong with it mainly to stick it to an OP... I don't like that. Not one bit. It is not something that should be encouraged, girls have enough shit to deal with these days.

What a devastating blow that must be for the PP 🤣

Yes, but I don't think they got jiggy until she was a bit older. I mean, when she was married. But that WAS a different generation.
Now it seems that anyone can sleep with whomsoever they want, whenever they want, married or not.
Unless you're on MN, in which case, it's whoever the coven deems suitable

You dont know the full history they were ok before you knew this just let it be

@CatrionaBalfour I think because people in the U.K. now treat 16/17 year olds like children, yet expect them to instantly be adults at 18. Whereas when I was a teenager I was expected to be much more mature & definitely not a child.

Maybe it's me - but I've never met a teenager who is more sensible or mature than an adult, even an "immature for their age" adult.

Even a smart teenager is still a teenager. I was an idiot at 16.