Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

[Anonforthisq]

First off I know im unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friends bday. I remembered the day after and texted on weds to say so sorry I forgot, happy bday, will drop a pressie round soon. Dont hear anything back but dont think anything off it, we both have young kids and busy lives. Texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘fuck off’

AIBU to think she’s totally ott?I know it’s bad I forgot (she always remembes!) but j apologised. It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest is SEN, I’m pregnant and have ADD. She knows all this btw. We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldnt mind even a little bit of someone forgot my bday, especially if they apologised after.

I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now

Do NOT give the present unless she apologises. And ignore the idiotic trolls who are implying you are anything other than the innocent victim...

Good option

I had a friend who completely blanked me because I had to take my daughter to the emergency dentist and I was gonna be a bit late going to her house for a brew and a chat lol she was hard work and we haven't spoken since lol about 7 years ago that was, I did text her at the time telling her that when she decides to bloody grow up get back in touch but until then I'm out. Can't be arsed with full grown adults acting like babies so just tell her to fuck off herself

Nonsense! The OP was not rude.

I'd either text, "are you sure you meant to send this to me?" or just drop her.

Just do! Theyre not big things (this year she got me a nice bottle of hand soap and I got her (but wont be giving now! A silky hair turban thing she mentioned she wanted. Just like £10 things. The reason i do feel bad is she always remembes and drops things round a few days before nd texts on the day. So i do get that its important to her and she does remember others. But i still think shes harsh about a mistake and i feel sad about it

No! Asking " Are you ok" to someone who has just told you to fuck off is ridiculous.
Of course she's not, that's why she's told you to F off.

If you actually care, apologise, acknowledge she always remembers yours and say that you don't prioritise birthdays but you have a card and present.

If you don't just don't respond.

Your friend is mental - and rude. Since when were adult birthdays outside of family a thing? I get you might throw a big party for a milestone birthday but I couldn't tell you the birthday of 99% of my friends. If they all have the hump with me for forgetting or not knowing, I haven't noticed.

You've got bloody loads going on in your life, plus you have ADD, so I think you can shelve all thought of birthdays from now to evermore beyond your very closest family. Remove a bit of the mental load for yourself. You've enough on. x

I agree with the person that said they would reply “are you ok”. That way she makes the decision about dropping off the gift for you.

If she reply’s with more abuse, you don’t drop it off and you forget her. Or if she replies like an adult/a miracle happens and she apologises then you would drop it off at some point.

Her reaction was over the top. My friends must have the patience of saints because I struggle to remember my own birthday some days let alone other peoples. As much as I love and value my friends, it’s just incredibly hard to remember everything.

Hope you are ok

Return for a refund.

if she asks tell her you did that as she had told you clearly to fuck off

This has happened to me too. Like a slow burn of friendship annoyance/fade. I cut off a friendship for someone forgetting something, though I suspected she thought she'd remembered but then conveniently forgotton and she had other plans. If the simplest of things you can't fathom as 'an overreaction' it's likely that you've been fading for a while before that and this person has been getting annoyed for a while but you didn't see it. Just IME

This is really kind thabk you

I wouldn't give her anything now.
And I wouldn't contact her again either.

Poor woman , her husband is away and it’s her birthday and her mate can’t be bothered. I see why she’s upset .

What an entitled baby your friend sounds! I could let this slide if she's had a really rough time AND she apologised. Maybe if you had been friends since you were very young this would be different too, just a different dynamic but this is a friendship forged well into adulthood - I'd probably pull back from the friendship anyway.

Special or "roundy" birthdays are ok to be marked by friends.

Any other year is a depressing reminder that age waits for no one!

I'm sure you will think me and my friends are nuts and uncaring, but we don't bother with birthday presents or cards. A nice text with a cake emoji is all we do. Unless it's special.

Mature adults don't need anything from friends, as long as they are wished Happy Birthday really. Family/partners/spouses/kids DIFFERENT though I think.

Wise up willya!!!

Are you the friend?!

Its on you Op.
Turn up with a card and gift on time for birthdays or don't. But don't make out you're doing her a favour by doing so. That's not the spirt presents are intended for.

Shes your friend and you forgot something which us important to HER. She obviously feels she does more of the giving ( and not just talking birthday gifts). What do you bring to the friendship ?

Ditto. None of my circle do anything other than a SM happy birthday and a text.

Though we often do have a night out the nearest Saturday to a birthday but it’s more an excuse for a good girls get together than anything else.

Honestly anyone over the age of about 16 who expects people to make a fuss about their birthday I find a bit immature and attention seeking.

I can’t stand ‘birthday week/weekend’ people. I wouldn’t be replying and I certainly wouldn’t be dropping a present round after that text.

That's just nuts.

I honestly would go round with the card and present and knock on her door. I'd say "here's your birthday present I said I would bring" and then just see what she does. It would be interesting.

I like that!

Can't believe people are actually defending this person if someone told me to fuck off, I wouldn't be giving them a fucking gift.

If text back, ok I will. Have a nice life and then block her. People who are princesses over their birthday are always hard work in other areas. Don't need the drama.

No, I am more similar to you.

I'm sometimes alerted to friends birthdays via Facebook.

I'll quite often not see it until a few days later. Will send a message saying "happy birthday! When are you free and we'll meet for some cake?"

Never, ever been an issue.

I find adults to make a huge deal out of birthdays a bit I mean, fair enough, I guess, if they want to make a big deal out of celebrating their own birthday. No harm in it. But expecting others to also treat it like some important event is too much.

PMSL at 'birthday week' 😂