Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

[Anonforthisq]

First off I know im unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friends bday. I remembered the day after and texted on weds to say so sorry I forgot, happy bday, will drop a pressie round soon. Dont hear anything back but dont think anything off it, we both have young kids and busy lives. Texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘fuck off’

AIBU to think she’s totally ott?I know it’s bad I forgot (she always remembes!) but j apologised. It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest is SEN, I’m pregnant and have ADD. She knows all this btw. We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldnt mind even a little bit of someone forgot my bday, especially if they apologised after.

I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now

🤣🤣🤣🤣

As I work in a wealth managers specialising in ISA’s it’s impossible to forget my son was born on 6th April. Its like the universe having its little joke with me

Not one bit.

I do still feel like we’ve achieved something today though. I can feel my brain tingling.

Does it really matter where the dad was on the day his children were born? Presumably it's a significant enough event to stick in his mind?! Unless there is a massive backstory, usually he would be involved in their birthday celebrations over the years and, at some point in time, would probably have to have given/written his child's birth date for some reason? To me, genuinely having no idea when your child/children's birthday is would be seriously odd or, more likely, this poster was being tongue in cheek.

Late FIL was away working when all his children were born and didn't meet BIL until he was crawling, he still knew all their birthday dates

It really doesn’t. But some mothers like to excuse shit fathers.

I never excuse shit dads. And of course every man I know knows their kids birthdays. I’m just saying it seems totally inconceivable for a mother to forget. I feel like I remember the whole 8/15/24 hours leading up to my kids birthdays!

Ok fair enough

She is pregnant. She didnt ask mn if she should have another baby so opinions aren't needed on this. What a horrible thing to say.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP 🎊 . Sorry your friend is a tw@#.

I know, and OP is pregnant with the actual baby; 'another child' isn't some kind of hypothesis or concept. Imagine saying to a pregnant woman at the point of delivery, 'why on earth' she would be having that child. How hurtful and unkind, especially when completely unsolicited!

No offence OP but you have ADD, a child with SEN and you’re in your 40’s so why on earth would you have another child??

So are people who are ND not allowed 2 children or is it because her only child has an SEN so she shouldn’t have another or is it because she is over 40

Disablist and ageist all at the same time

Now I'm in my forties, I just don't really bother about my own birthday anymore. I might wish friends a happy birthday, but we don't do cards and presents. I find it a bit odd being a birthdayzilla - we've all got lives and things happen

Friend is out of order. If she is a valuable friend you might want to ask her what is going so wrong with her life that she felt the need to tell you, a good friend who cares about her, to F-off.

Personally I don't do other people's birthdays unless it is immediate family and some in-laws we actually hang out with often. That's it. We are all so busy just coping with stressors we didn't ask for like heavy traffic, rising cost of living, bosses trying to work us overtime without pay, etc. Everyone needs to cut everyone else some slack.

Maybe stop doing any friends birthdays and announce that is your new stance on such birthdays and you are telling them because you love them, wish them a happy day everyday and are not adding any more things to do or think about or guilt over to your plate.

Seriously, for a friend to behave the way they did, you have to wonder what is going so wrong in their lives that they felt this was appropriate. If nothing negative is occurring then maybe you can see this as a one of, let the dust settle and move forward.

Sounds like she is extremely high maintenance. I had a friend fall out with me because I hadn't sent her a happy birthday text before 11am on her birthday and god forbid if you didn't post her a card.