Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

[Anonforthisq]

First off I know im unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friends bday. I remembered the day after and texted on weds to say so sorry I forgot, happy bday, will drop a pressie round soon. Dont hear anything back but dont think anything off it, we both have young kids and busy lives. Texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘fuck off’

AIBU to think she’s totally ott?I know it’s bad I forgot (she always remembes!) but j apologised. It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest is SEN, I’m pregnant and have ADD. She knows all this btw. We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldnt mind even a little bit of someone forgot my bday, especially if they apologised after.

I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now

After your friend’s nasty response, there’s no way I’d be giving her a card or present. I wouldn’t reply at all and would just let the friendship slide. I’ve also forgotten a friend’s birthday before, simply because I was busy and it wasn’t upmost in my mind. I apologised next day, as you did, and got ‘Lol! No worries!’ and a laughing emoji back. That’s what I’d consider a normal friend reaction in the circumstances.

Totally uncalled for on her part. So you forgot her birthday. Unless it was a big, special birthday then remembering the next day & saying you'll drop her pressie in is absolutely fine. She may have other things going on & you've got the brunt of it. Leave her to cool off & let her reach out to you. If she doesn't then you've had a lucky escape. Who needs friends like that.

Sounds like your freinds with a "woman child" normally I will often try to consider the other side of a story & put that to for consideration (even if I don't agree) but there's nothing here. This is an unreasonable & childish response from your (ex?) freind, I understand for some people birthdays can be important, but freinds have no obligation to big up a birthday, you forgot, only one day had passed by the time you remembered, you had a gift & card & you asked her to join you on a concert you had tickets for... Well it's her loss!

Meet her on her level, I believe what the younger generation do to end a friendship is remove each other from Facebook & block ;)

You text back "well fuck off yourself - I've cancelled our spa day (she doesn't need to know there was no spa day) and then block her number

Your “friend” is an AH. I would either reply with “Everything okay?” Or just leave her to sulk.
I’m forever forgetting friends birthdays and they forget mine. I don’t hold it against them and they don’t hold it against me, because none of us are so entitled to think that our special day should not be forgotten by a friend. Life happens and gets in the way.

Even if she was pissed off or upset about you missing her birthday, there’s a million different ways to tell you rather than ‘tuck off’

OP - please ignore the batshit people pleasers on here who live in a parallel universe to the average person. If anyone over about 12 makes such a drama over a birthday then they’re really not worth having in your life.

The most polite response possible is probably "Grow up, name. LIfe is too short for this kind of nonsense between friends",

Are you getting bridezilla vibes? 😂

Quite!

I have a birthday week but it strictly applies to my DH only and consists of: Of course I should have the last biscuit; it’s my birthday week! Let’s order food in because it’s my birthday week! I’m having the lie in on Sunday because it’s my birthday week!

No one is expected to make excessive fuss over my birthday because I’m an adult and aware other people have lives and proper priorities.

Right, I'm having a 'birthday week' from now on @BeingATwatItsABingThing! Did have a birthday weekend, but will stretch this out in future (definitely want dibs on the last biscuit), 😆

My friend has a birthday month but it’s all done in a jokey manner and is basically an excuse to spend the entire month in cocktail bars 🤣🤣 plus it’s December so everyone up for her numerous nights out.

Is it’s done in fun then it’s great but to take it so seriously that it causes a fall out - nah that’s just stupid.

@Mothership4two @SamW98

It honestly makes ageing so much better!

You didn't forget; you just sent wishes a day late.

If she has a birthday week, that makes it even more unreasonable of her to kick off about your greeting not being ON THE DAY.

But one small point: are you certain that the delayed birthday greeting was the reason for her nasty behaviour? Did she make that clear? I wonder if she may, for example, be just in a foul mood, perhaps because of something to do with her husband being away, and want everyone to leave her alone and not contact her; hence the 'fuck off'. Not sure that this would be any better, but it would be slightly different.

I quite like a birthday 'week' - I mean my birthday this year is on a Tuesday but I might take the day off as my adult kids have said they'd like to do something nice with me, but I have other friends who want to do something nice with who can't make it until either the weekend before or after. So I get to enjoy an extended birthday. But it's all pretty organic and I wouldn't be upset if it didn't happen that way.

This thread is crazy. I can't believe people are having a go at OP for forgetting one birthday.

My birthday was at the beginning of the year and my one of my best friends of over 20 years gave me my present the other week!!!!! I gave her a hug, thanked her and we carried on about our day.

Agree. My friend was 50 in January. Because of various plans and things going on, we actually met up for a celebratory drink in March - no one died or told the other to fuck off. We just found a date that worked and had a great evening. Like adults

cos my IUD failed. Its been horrendous it cant be removed and it puts me at risk of complications which has been really awful do deal with. and this actually is offensive so please think before asking something like this next time

Wow, can’t believe some of the responses here. YANBU OP, she’s unreasonable to be pissed off but she is very unreasonable to tell you to fuck off.

She must be constantly disappointed if stuff like this gets to her.

The so called friend must have blessed life to get upset about such trivial non problems

Quite so. In life we need to be aware of what matters, what doesn't and when, and act appropriately.

Things like did you help someone when they had a problem matters, not whether you remember their damn birthday.

I have four grown-up children. I haven't the vaguest idea when their birthdays are. But when they were young and birthdays were a big deal to them of course I paid attention. When they were older and needed money I came across.

But run of the mill adult birthdays? Unless it's a 50th or another landmark, not important.

How can you not know when their birthdays are?

I have four grown-up children. I haven't the vaguest idea when their birthdays are.

Is this a joke? 🤨

Honestly I think your friend is being ridiculous, we all forget things it’s human nature , I’m pretty good with dates friends and family not so much , do I care absolutely not they remember eventually and if they don’t it doesn’t matter, we are all adults life gets in the way sometimes. Will it matter in 6 months absolutely not. Maybe your friend has other stuff going on

Ah so you get to be offended by something not meant offensively. Why not just reply with " contraception failure".
Your friend is offended you couldn't be arsed even though you didn't mean to be.

Because it doesn't matterthat much. Other things matter infinitely more. Are they short of money? Can they pay their way? Do they have decent jobs? Are their children happy? Do they have somewhere nice to liive? All more important to their happiness than when their birthdays are.