Told to f*ck off for forgetting a birthday

[Anonforthisq]

First off I know im unreasonable for this part but I forgot my friends bday. I remembered the day after and texted on weds to say so sorry I forgot, happy bday, will drop a pressie round soon. Dont hear anything back but dont think anything off it, we both have young kids and busy lives. Texted her again today to ask if she wants to come to a concert I have tickets for next week and she just texted back ‘fuck off’

AIBU to think she’s totally ott?I know it’s bad I forgot (she always remembes!) but j apologised. It’s been a hard week. My youngest has slapped cheek and is miserable, oldest is SEN, I’m pregnant and have ADD. She knows all this btw. We’re women in our 40s, I like birthdays and celebrating but I wouldnt mind even a little bit of someone forgot my bday, especially if they apologised after.

I haven’t texted back and don’t know what to do now

Anyone who thinks that the language the friend used was an acceptable way to speak to anyone for sending a happy birthday message the following day, has a dysfunctional view of the world. It's crude and borderline abusive to speak to someone like that for something slipping someone's mind. Op didn't co sciously decide to delay texting her friend. She had obviously thought about the friends birthday I'm advance as she bought the gift, but life happens and she got distracted. It is not normal or healthy to be so invested in one friend texting you Happy Birthday that you spit venom when they do so, but the next day. Everyone gets wrapped up in their own circumstances from time to time, and drops the ball. It's OK, we are human and real friends take it on the chin, because they will have inevitably don't the same at some point in their life. Op accidentally forgot, her friend deliberately swore at her. If you think this is OK, or are twisting the circumstances in your brain to make Op the bad guy, you have a serious maturity problem.

Ask her does she want you to Fuck Off before or after you drop her present 🎁 into her. She may be feeling down with dh away etc. But she's not a child and she is very rude.

I wouldn’t try to do anything but put this friendship in the bin. Try to pacify this entitled twat? Come on!

ha I like this. ‘Noted, thanks for your understanding for a struggling friend. I had a present to drop in for you but I assume fuck off is an immediate request, not a please drop my present in and then fuck off. Let me know if I’ve got the wrong end of the stick. X Op’

Yes did you?

Honestly unless she's completely alone in the world and you are her entire support network she's being ridiculous.

Me and my friends are in our forties and all (for various reasons) have lots going on. I spend my birthday with my family. I definitely wouldn't be offended to get a next day text from a friend.

But even if this is a situation where she has some right to be upset telling a friend to fuck off is completely unacceptable. I don't think I would respond at all. And unless a good apology was forthcoming I'd consider the friendship done.

I know someone who had a 50th birthday "year."

If it wasn't one-sided, there would be jello-wrestling as we heard each side.

She is totally pathetic

If someone told me to fuck off I would do just that. I wouldn't need telling twice. The present would get returned for a refund. Her number would be blocked. She is a middle aged woman having hurty feelings because she didn't get a pwesant. Didums.

My first thought : was this a joke on your friend's behalf? Like I got one friend who could have texted me fuck off and I know that would be meant as a joke...
I also have got one friend who is big on birthdays and I tell her that she has to remind me a week ahead if she wants me to congratulate her cause I will forget. As for my own birthday I couldn't care less, my mil insist on celebrating because she's big on birthdays but I honestly don't mind if nobody remembers. What is important to me is my children's birthdays because each year is a big thing when you're young. My dad always forgets their birthdays but I don't mind, he lives far away and I call him to tell him it's x's birthday and do you want to congratulate him?
I think life is complicated enough not to hold grudges for small things...

Add to the backstory with an eff off of your own...no seriously, just block her, she's a weirdo.

…and this is how you behave when in primary school. However as an adult it’s pretty pathetic behaviour.

Your friend is being ott and ridiculous OP, not to mention very rude. I’d leave it personally (unless your friend is in fact 7 years old, in which case her behaviour is entirely reasonable).

Wow! What a kn*b! Sorry but has she forgotten how baby brain works both during and after pregnancy. Plus your household has been hit by multitudes of sickness! I wouldn't bother texting her again. She should understand being a mum too.

I'd be shocked if a friend sent me this text. It's no wonder you are upset OP. I would send a message saying 'I'm sorry you feel like this. I was shocked to read your messsge. It's probably better if we don't contact each other again' The trouble is if you have mutual friends you gather with it's more difficult to cut her out of your life. If not then I'd definitely end the friendship.

I'd be sending "consider it done"

I love this!

Threads like these are a real eye opener.

As an adult, I've never been sworn at by a friend, and have never sworn at a friend either.

Forgotten birthday or not, she's bang out of order, and I'm flabbergasted at the number of posters who are arguing her side in this.

Same! It blows my mind that people think this is acceptable and/or warranted. I like a good swear as much as the next person but not at my friends. And over a birthday? Ridiculous!

Agreed.
Cannot imagine people actually behave or think like this.
It explains a LOT.
Texts are a perfectly acceptable birthday greeting in my circle of friends of more than 40 years.
Like the thread about a woman being told off for not making a group walk because she has other responsibilities.....
Completely batshit.
Perhaps this is a reason some people successfully navigate long loving supportive friendships and others don't.

We CAN see the wood for the trees in friends and wouldn't dream of being anything but supportive and understanding when they are under pressure.

I hope the OP doesn't reply to that woman and focuses her energy on other friends.

She has clearly shown who she is...that is ridiculously high maintenance.

Snap. I’m so glad my circle is chilled about this sort of stuff and show that we’re friends by our actions not by sending birthday texts.

Honestly MN blows my mind at times with the rigid rules people impose on their friends and family.

Anyone who is standing up for the rude friend throwing her toys out of the pram is just as batshit as her

I would do exactly as she requested and fuck right off. She is rude in the extreme, there is no excuse in the world for speaking to a 'friend' like this. Not a person I would want to continue a friendship with.

delete her number and delete her from your life!

I could never accept that from a friend, and the frienship would be over for me. I would not like someone like that in my life.

If we had been friends for 30 years I might ask her if she was okay and her message didn't sound like her. But for a short friendship it would over for me.

No present. No response.

Definitely can see you asking for cash donations for your wedding.