To be mildly astonished at these moms?

[ShutterNutBosh]

Hullo good afternoon.

I'm a parent of an 18 year old lad.

He's going on a group holiday with 7 friends tomorrow to Ibiza.

We have a moms' group chat. Had it for many years as 5 of from primary joined the same secondary school together and we've socialised since as families and 3 other moms have joined over the years as their children palled up with our 5.

It appears that several of the moms are packing for their offspring for this trip.

I'm a smidge astounded at this, these are captured children who are mostly off to university soon. This doesn't seem to be helping to pack, it's actually packing for them. 🤨 a couple have mentioned its just easier that way, one child is swampy in bed with a hangover.

Where's the encouragement to independence?

YABU: it's fine for moms (or parents but in this case is definitely the female parents) to pack for 18 year Olds.

YANBU: a bit of guidance or nowt help at all is the way to go

No, I wouldn't be packing for an 18 year old, or anyone from the age of about 7 or 8, really.

Yep we definitely don’t!

I thought I did too much for my ds but I haven’t packed for him for years. I do occasionally say have you got your toothbrush and pants!

What makes it read like AI?

I didn’t say that either! Not close actually. I said it was an Americanism which is commonly can be, in the same way that kids say soda or garbage because they watch too much American telly. And also in the same way that the AI posts mix up regional things. It was a small point amongst various odd bits in the OP. But actually I acknowledged as soon as I realised that it was a regional thing. I’ve been to Birmingham before but didn’t discuss mums with anyone there, bizarre I know! Keep making stuff up to suit your own narrative though, it sounds great.

I think we’ve covered this already 🫠

Oh really 🫠

Mam was used a lot when we were kids, back in the 60s, but you don't seem to hear it as much nowadays. At least not in north-west of England, which is where I am.

Why? You don't stop being a mother when yours kids are 18. My own mother was still my mother until she died and I was nearly 50 then

I voted YANBU as she mentioned guidance, and then gave an example of my experience of guidance if packing for the first time.

Am finding it very interesting how many people are mentioning 'future wives', some of them might end up with husbands, or housemates or happily flying solo!

absolutely, but the OP wrote 'YANBU: a bit of guidance or nowt help at all is the way to go', which is what I voted and then gave an example of the level of guidance I received. Was intending to back the OP up :)

I didn't say it wasn't used at all, BUT....

"Widely used" has a definite meaning and that ISN'T "a small area" which is from your words above.

Really? In 2024?
My mum shopped for clothes and packed for my Dad all 54 years they were married. DH and I have been together 26 years married for 21, and I have never done either. He's an actual grown up.

Captured? Swampy?

Confusing to have ‘mom’ (American) and Primary School in the same post. If it’s the first time your boy has packed for himself, give him a suggestion list (sun cream, paracetamol) then it’s up to him, surely?

Interesting item from the Birmingham Mail about the use of Mom.

www.birminghammail.co.uk/news/midlands-news/mom-mum-right-your-birmingham-14747370?int_source=amp_continue_reading&int_medium=amp&int_campaign=continue_reading_button#amp-readmore-target

YANBU some people are weird. My kids are 20 and 22 now and I've not packed for them for quite a few years. A little bit of "don't forget XYZ" or answering questions about "how many X should I take?" but that's all. I think it is a really bad habit to keep on doing stuff like this for teenagers and young adults.

I don't think it does!

‘Hullo’ 🤢

Tbf when I packed for Thailand at that age I packed one winter coat, seven vests, a skirt and no toothbrush (or in fact any toiletries). And when I went away on safari recently I forgot to take any underwear.

I've lived alone and been completely financially independent since I was 16 but I would have appreciated my mum's help!

My kids would have thought I was crazy if I'd made them write a packing list to run by me at that age! It would not have gone down well.

I don't even write a packing list myself. Plus I didn't really make them do anything by then! Ask, suggest, but not make

Thinking about it further, I don't even think I could pack effectively for my kids at 18. I wouldn't know what they would want to take!

So those of you who pack for your husbands. Do you mean that they pick out what they want to take and then you put it in the case for them? Or do you actually choose what they are going to wear on holiday? I just couldn't do the second, any more than he could choose what I was going to wear!

Probably reasonable to make sure they have condoms and sun cream. Unreasonable to do the whole job for them.

Really?? Not in my world they don't!