To be mildly astonished at these moms?

[ShutterNutBosh]

Hullo good afternoon.

I'm a parent of an 18 year old lad.

He's going on a group holiday with 7 friends tomorrow to Ibiza.

We have a moms' group chat. Had it for many years as 5 of from primary joined the same secondary school together and we've socialised since as families and 3 other moms have joined over the years as their children palled up with our 5.

It appears that several of the moms are packing for their offspring for this trip.

I'm a smidge astounded at this, these are captured children who are mostly off to university soon. This doesn't seem to be helping to pack, it's actually packing for them. 🤨 a couple have mentioned its just easier that way, one child is swampy in bed with a hangover.

Where's the encouragement to independence?

YABU: it's fine for moms (or parents but in this case is definitely the female parents) to pack for 18 year Olds.

YANBU: a bit of guidance or nowt help at all is the way to go

Just hope the mums who are packing remember to put the condoms in.

We are on holiday now. I let my 15yo pack. He did a great job apart from putting his washbag in his hand luggage, a quick trip to Boots airside, to replace toothpaste, deodorant, and shower gel.

Jesus.
"Mom" is extremely common in most parts of Birmingham. There's over a million of us.

My own mom has pronounced it "mom" all her life. Which is where I learnt it from. She was born in the 40s.

DS went on a school trip when he was 17. The teacher leading the trip said the pupils must do their own packing, so that if they were stopped at the airport and asked “Did you pack your bag yourself?” they could honestly reply that they did.

So do you pick what he takes? Does he not want to choose? I think it's odd he asked you but at least he asked nicely! I assumed the mums were just being overbearing as even my 12 yo would never let me pack for her - not that I'd want to in the first place!

😂😂😂

My husband's 61, I always pack his case 🙈

I pack my husband's case so I don't feel able to criticise...

@ShutterNutBosh

I've never heard the term mom used in the U.K. typically it's mum, mummy, mama or mammy depending on location. My dc (adults) call me mama.

Good grief. Seriously, there are still wives who pack their husband's cases?

I don't know which I'm more appalled at: the wives who think it's their role, and are complicit in de-skilling their partners, or the men who accept their women controlling what they wear, and having no opinions or preferences of their own

@RiRiversideandrelax - No, I was asking him if he was all ready & packed. He said he wasn't & still had to do some washing. So I said leave out what you want washing & I'll do it for you. He asked if I could chuck it in his suitcase with the rest of the stuff he had started getting ready & gave me that cheeky smile. I didn't chuck it in. It's all nicely folded. He's my last one at home & l like doing nice things for him. Come September, he'll be gone & I'll miss him desperately, and I admit I'll still do his washing & make his favourites when he occasionally comes home. If that makes me a bad mum, I'll take it. I will aways do nice things for my kids however old they are.

It's funny. Totally what dh mum would have done.
Mine are pre teens and young teens. These days when we are going away I write a list and kids take it in turn tick off the items and pack. I do wonder if I will still be making lists when they are 18

I'm with you OP. I'd expect a couple of questions as to 'have you got ...' no more.

I don't find it that shocking tbh. Most wives pack for their husbands !

Ah, that makes more sense! I like doing nice things for my DC too! Just my 17yo would never let me touch his clothes or do his laundry or packing. I don't think it makes you a bad mum if he is capable of doing it himself when he needs to - I was just wondering how it worked!

My 30 yr old brother is married. My mom keeps clothes at her house Incase he ever forgets his or needs to get some before golfing instead of going home, or god forbid packing a bag

shell be a nightmare when he has children.

I never got that memo! I've never packed for my DH. How would I know what he wanted to take? Or do they give you a list or something?

I don't think the group chats help. I would have hated all my friend's mums to be gossiping about us on whatsapp. We have become so enmeshed in our DC's lives now it is odd.

Where do you get that statistic from?

Bloody hell, I'm getting uncomfortably close to 70, so if people younger then me are still acting like women's lib never happened, I'm horrified.

My late husband would have been pretty offended if I'd given the impression that he wasn't capable of packing his own choice of clothes etc.

@ShutterNutBosh not sure why the quote is in my post?

Shove it in the suitcase and sit on the lid then throw away the stuff they can’t fit in? If they’re 18 and wrecked at the end of a boozy holiday?

I don’t know how to tell you this, but some posters aren’t even mothers. It’s like women have the freedom to chat to anyone they want.

My apologies, you mean the mums of the boys still have a group chat, not posting on MN in general.

I have one DC who has packed for himself since he was around 7 years old and one who is now almost 20 and forgets stuff every single trip. He’s forgotten swimming shorts, trainers, coat, one year he forgot his phone! Last year DH offered help, they had a row and he forgot stuff. Youngest packed extra stuff coz he knew oldest would forget!

Some kids are on top of it and some aren’t.
Also neither of my kids have heard the phrase swampy so it must be OPs area that use it.

I wouldn't do it and my kids wouldn't want me to, but I wouldn't be 'astonished' to find out others did. No doubt they'll learn at some point and if they don't, it's not your problem.