To be mildly astonished at these moms?

[ShutterNutBosh]

Hullo good afternoon.

I'm a parent of an 18 year old lad.

He's going on a group holiday with 7 friends tomorrow to Ibiza.

We have a moms' group chat. Had it for many years as 5 of from primary joined the same secondary school together and we've socialised since as families and 3 other moms have joined over the years as their children palled up with our 5.

It appears that several of the moms are packing for their offspring for this trip.

I'm a smidge astounded at this, these are captured children who are mostly off to university soon. This doesn't seem to be helping to pack, it's actually packing for them. 🤨 a couple have mentioned its just easier that way, one child is swampy in bed with a hangover.

Where's the encouragement to independence?

YABU: it's fine for moms (or parents but in this case is definitely the female parents) to pack for 18 year Olds.

YANBU: a bit of guidance or nowt help at all is the way to go

And makes more sense as a diminutive of MOther than Mum

Oh that's just treating them like children still. Mine are in Cubs/Scouts and have to pack their own things as part of the learned indepencence.

It isn’t an Americanism though. Where did you think the Americans got it from??

They should be packing for themselves at that age. I packed for myself from the age of about 13. As pps have said, a bit of guidance might not go amiss, but Ibiza is not the North Pole - barring passport/tickets/prescription meds, anything they forget they can buy when they get there.

Or husbands, maybe?

We let our kids pack for themselves (only for weekends at their GPs) when they were about five. That's how we ended up at the in-laws to find that the youngest had packed six pairs of knickers and her teddy 😅
(Yes, DH and I each thought the other had had a sneak check of her bag)

Stop being so pedantic. As a general rule people from the UK say mum, and the US say mom. People posting here on the uk website mumsnet making out like I’m strange for implying it’s common to say mum is the stupidest thing I’ve seen all week.

It's me, hi, i'm the problem. I am guilty of doing this for my son. Even worse, I did his laundry before I packed it. I'm a soft touch. I did it because he was working up till the night before he went away. He asked me nicely, and I got that ' thanks mum smile.😍. Must do better.

Is ChatGPT posting on here now?

Introduce him to gradual packing - make a list and start packing a couple of week before you go away, putting a few things in each time, that way you don't need a chunk of time when you are working up to the day you go away.

Oh be careful now! That opinion isn’t well received here 😂

I'm not shocked TBH. I'm continually amazed at what DS' friends' mothers do for them.

DS went to the Royal Northern College of Music open day last year and met up with 3 friends who had gone to the University of Manchester open day the same day. All 3 were ferried to Manchester in cars by their parents. DS went by train. They were asking him how he managed to find the right train, work out the trams etc. Goodness knows how they're going to cope in September when they actually have to go to university!

Who cares?

All children of MN’ers will have been taught to pack for their own holiday by the time that they start school.

No weirder than being on a mother's chat group when your kids are adults.

What's wrong with the 18 year olds mums packing for them? I don't see it being a problem. They are already on an independence journey by going abroad.
Their mums will have peace of mind knowing they have what they need abroad and can rest themselves ( ?????? hopefully).
I hope they have a nice holiday

They’ve had it for years and are friends so what age should they shut it down to avoid being weird?

YANBU I wouldn't.

OP. I have packed for my son. But he's also been overseas on his own, managed to plan and book the trips eg hotel and flights and train to airport, and pack for himself too. AND get himself to the airport on time.

MN has this weird attitude that kids have to practice things over and over again from birth to be able to do them. When actually, when they have to do it themselves, they generally manage it. Because they want to, and mummy isn't there.

Not sure I agree packing is an art form. You decide what you want to take, look at the bag you are taking on a Ryanair flight, decide if you can fit everything in, and leave behind the things you can't.

Thanks for this and you're his mum!

My mum helped me — did it for me — every summer when I went back home (abroad) for a visit until I was 29 🤷‍♀️

I am 45 now, independent and pack my own suitcase now. I don’t see the harm.

When I was a teenager I can't imagine a bigger ick than meeting an 18 year old lad on holiday and finding out his mum had packed his suitcase.

We do no such thing! It's "Muhm" with a short middle vowel.
I'd never heard "mom" until I went to Birmingham.

Hullo moms

ick

Ahhhh yes - the lists 😂

My autistic ds can pack to go swim training or swim comps if he's been there before.

But same kit - different location - out comes the list 😂😂

He's 19 🤔😫

OP I wouldn't worry what others do. Some kids of 17/18 will be much more organised with packing than others. I would have been fine but I had a very organised brain from a young age!