To be mildly astonished at these moms?

[ShutterNutBosh]

Hullo good afternoon.

I'm a parent of an 18 year old lad.

He's going on a group holiday with 7 friends tomorrow to Ibiza.

We have a moms' group chat. Had it for many years as 5 of from primary joined the same secondary school together and we've socialised since as families and 3 other moms have joined over the years as their children palled up with our 5.

It appears that several of the moms are packing for their offspring for this trip.

I'm a smidge astounded at this, these are captured children who are mostly off to university soon. This doesn't seem to be helping to pack, it's actually packing for them. 🤨 a couple have mentioned its just easier that way, one child is swampy in bed with a hangover.

Where's the encouragement to independence?

YABU: it's fine for moms (or parents but in this case is definitely the female parents) to pack for 18 year Olds.

YANBU: a bit of guidance or nowt help at all is the way to go

I remember at university having to stop one lad from putting an entire (small, but still) box of washing powder in the machine. At least he was trying to wash his clothes, but I prevented an accidental laundrette foam party.

@MrHarleyQuin
Same here , my MIL is aghast every time she asks if I’ve done DH’s packing and is told the same thing every time . “He’s a grown adult , quite capable of packing for himself!”

In the days of 'real' checking in you were asked whether you had packed your own bag so they would have had to lie to the checking in people.

We are Birmingham and mom is common.

I would be nervous about them going to Ibiza!

Yes people know what the poster means but mum is the more common term in much of the U.K

This has been done to death. I say Mam. It's on our Mothers Day cards and everything.

As a general rule people from the UK say mum, and the US say mom.

Says who?

My DS packed for his post A level holiday last year, and for the last couple of years he’s chosen his main clothes but I’ve checked everything. Buying a whole new set of socks may not be a drama for you, but it would be a right pain and an unnecessary expense for me. I’d rather check my younger teens have everything than risk them leaving stuff behind.

In the same vein (and only because I need to rant) I woke up this morning to a Whatsapp message from my 60-year-old father who is packing for a trip to visit me from India. He wanted to know if he really needed to bring 8 pairs of pants (for a two week stay across three cities) including the pair he was going to wear on the flight. I would be more sympathetic if he hadn't reminded me on our last phone call that he was a jetsetting banker who had filled up three passports with stamps from four continents 🙄don't get me started on the level of micromanagement (support? discussion?) that my mother expects when packing. They are arriving tomorrow. Send help!

Thanks! Learn something new every day! I’m up in Scotland and never heard it here!

AI ?

My dds are 13 and 11 and have done their own packing for the last 2-3 years.

I could get checking in e.g. did you pack x, y and z, but it's ludicrous to pack for them.

I'd be worried about an 18-year old in Ibiza whose parents didn't deem them capable of packing a suitcase.

But then again it is not uncommon where I live (not UK) for kids to live in self-catering, student accommodation from age 15-16.

Yeah, I think that’s strange for 18 yo. I can’t imagine having had my mum pack at that age!

My not particularly independent 12 yo already wants to pack when he does to his dad’s and has particular things he wants to wear or take.

My 11 year old packs for herself. She writes a list and packs what she has on her list. I don't check, that's how kids learn. The only thing I check is medication and toothbrush.
I would never pack for my 18 year old.

How do they figure it's easier to pack for them. Just not getting involved is much easier. My 14 yo son packed for himself on our last holiday and managed fine. No way would I be packing for an 18yo.

Ah, someone's never been north of Watford have they?

Not a general rule - YOU say mum maybe. PLENTY of other people in the uk say mom. You need to spread your wings a bit more and then it won’t be the stupidest thing you’ve heard all week

My daughter has done all her own packing since she was about ten. She’s much better at it than I am.

There seems to be more and more of these type of threads simply to declare 'look at me! what a better mum I am, I'm so much better at parenting'. No one's forcing you to pack for your son. Just mind your own business.

Yeah I’m not the one that sounds stupid making out like it’s not common to say mum in the UK. I acknowledge it’s a regional thing that some people say mom. But thanks.

I’m from Yorkshire 👍

Like PP have said, packing for a holiday is an art form. Getting it wrong, especially amounts of sunscreen, underwear, first aid can ruin your holiday. I'd make them write a packing list and run it past me first.

I'll shut up then!

My Mum was from Birmingham, she always said it was a midlands and northern thing. Obviously just midlands.

Because it’s silly. The op is easy to read. It’s obviously regional slang/way of writing! Dread to think what some of these commenters who are nitpicking would think of my Scottish dialect 🙄