Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

This is the clincher for me OP, in this situation.
It's not a case of the group having nowhere to sit.
They wanted YOUR seat, and were extremely rude about it. You did the right thing.

R.e. people under occupying tables, I think it really depends on the cafe. Sitting at a table, ordering nothing extra when it's extremely busy is really rude, and will cause the cafe money but the onus is also on them to move people on.

@mitogoshi they did’t want to join me, they wanted me to move.

@MonsteraMama this is what I thought, I used to work in hospitality and you can’t stop someone from sitting somewhere even if they haven’t paid. Restaurants can have hostesses to seat people where they would like but they can’t force them to sit there.

As I said I wouldn’t do this in a restaurant or an place but it’s a chain cafe where people come and go. Staff don’t care either in these places either. And I rarely go to coffee shops to do this, I went to the library yesterday but they close on Sundays. I bought quite a lot of food actually so really am a paying customer.
I also see people do this all the time in small independents and nobody bats an eyelid, annoys me the one day I do it, I get called out.

I probably won’t take up a booth again like this but tbf it was the only place with a socket that was quiet when I first came in and I wasn’t going to scramble to another seat to suit others.

As a customer I don’t think it’s fine. I want to go to a coffee shop, not an office.

A single person shouldn’t even sit at a table for two? What should they do, then?

Should groups of three be barred from sitting at tables for four? Maybe the third person could stand next to their friends at a table for two and take turns at getting one of the seats every five minutes.

As there were plenty of other seats for them they didn’t need to ask you to move. Also she was really nasty in what she said to you especially her parting shot You said you would have moved if there was nowhere else for them. They just fancied a booth by the sound of it

Then go to a smaller, independent coffee shop instead of a large chain where you're just one of millions and your opinion doesn't matter 👍

I reckon if studying/doing work either alone or with colleague/client, was banned from coffee shops - alot would close down.

I can have an opinion here if I want. Just like you can.

And the thumbs up emoji is so 2023 btw.

I think it depends.
Working there for an hour or two during a quiet period (and ideally ordering more than just a drink) - most likely okay.
Occupying a larger table during a busy period - less so.

They do care in some places. We were a group of 4 in a Nero where, when we bought our drinks and food, we couldn’t find any free seats. The manager saw this and said she was fed up with all the solitary laptop-using table hoggers with no drinks in front of them, so booted them all out. I was pleasantly surprised 😅

Yes we can read. What the OP actually said was, "I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back." No not the only table available.

I didn't say you couldn't have an opinion, I said it doesn't matter to large chain corporations, which it doesn't.

Also policing people's emoji usage is so embarrassing, I'm embarrassed for you.

👍👍👍👍👍

Why should your preference take precedent over other people’s preference? You have the choice to go elsewhere if you don’t like the clientele, you do not have the right to dictate how a business is run because of your personal preference

Op said there were plenty of tables. The staff would have just laughed at you after you’d left if you’d ’put in a complaint’ about this, how silly 😂

There’s a different atmosphere in coffee shops where most tables are taken by single people with laptops and headphones. No background chatter and lively feel to it.

She said in the OP lunch so I presume eating and drinking.

I support cafes that don't allow people working just sitting there.

Are there coffee shops with tables for one? Never seen one. Where are the solo customers meant to sit, with or without a laptop?

I think you are unreasonable. I see it a lot - people taking up quieter, comfier spaces in coffee shops/gym cafes just so they can have more space/plug in, whatever. A lot of people are annoyed about this but just decide not to say anything. It is on you to be more considerate in the first place. And it doesn't matter if it's a chain or an independent coffee shop. They all have to justify their existence by their turnover.

Many (four and a half) years ago most of us who were either students or working on a self-employed basis would make use of a coffee shop, cafe or similar place to do some work. In my friendship group we used to call it going to the Costa Office. Cafes and coffee shops would put on offers to entice people who were working to have multiple drinks and a lunch in return for wifi and getting out of the house, and there was always plenty of debate over what the purchase value/rate to length of time occupying the table ratio should be. Motherland did some pretty funny and accurate scenes about it!

I don't think OP was particularly unreasonable, and she wins the moral high ground because of the unreasonableness of the way the other woman spoke to her. Most of us who go to work in a cafe would try to be mindful of it's busy periods and how much space we were occupying though.

I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman

Yep. Lone woman, easy target. You can bet if it was a burly 6ft bloke sitting in your place, she wouldn't have asked.

As yours wasn't the only table available, you did nothing wrong.

They’re were rude not to ask you politely, but why did you need an entire bench for just your daughter and your bag?

There were other tables available, they just wanted a booth. The op wanted a booth too. Op spent money. If op had went to the library she wouldn’t have spent any money in the cafe.
Should single people never go out to eat because tables are usually for at least two people and even though there are other tables free more people might arrive to use both seats at each table. Two people shouldn’t sit at a table for 4 even if there are only tables of 4 left just incase a group of 4 arrive.

Actually quite the opposite IME. A few near me have had to put up signs saying that people working/studying in the coffee shop will not be allowed because they hog tables from other customers and it's damaging their profits.

Buying 1 £3 latte and a sandwich over a 3 hour time period is ignorant. In that time, a dozen people could have spent that money each.

What do you consider a better use of the space?