Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

Why? They could have sat elsewhere but just decided their wanted OP's seat.

I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth.

I agree with this.

So tired of a world in which singletons are constantly expecting to defer to coupled.

The booth may have had 4 seats but it also had the charging sockets and size of table the OP needed.

Her needs are as important as any others.

Four people who don't need a socket don't outweigh the need of the solo person who does.

A single person taking s booth is rude even if it is quiet at the time.
Coffee shops can get busy quickly and why should a group sit cramped round a small table because you are using a coffee shop as a library

You try reading - she chose that seat because it was the only one that looked comfortable and was at the back. The fact that she chose it, would mean that there was a choice - not the only seat.

Same thing happened to me recently - I was in the canteen at work at a table on my own in the middle of my lunch and a group of people came up and asked me to move to a space on another table. I said that I was very happy for them to join me but that I wouldn't be moving. They were quite polite but I do think that it's incredibly rude to interrupt someone eating to ask them to move just so that you can have the table to yourself.

As an aside I don't believe that they would have approached a man with that request, but obviously I have no way of proving that!

Because a small cramped table doesn't suit her needs, either.

Solo people need not always accept the dregs that are left over after others have taken what they pleased.

Have worked in a coffee shop, to all the people deeply concerned about how awful it is for business (yes, the poor giant coffee chain, however will they cope) I promise no one cares. There's loads of people who sit for a few hours, have a few coffees and a sarnie, it's fine. People come in and do work meetings, job interviews, all sorts. All fine. The OP taking up a booth is fine, it was the only seat available when she arrived, no one expects people to play musical chairs to ensure maximum capacity can be fulfilled at all times. It's fine.

It's first come first served, end of, and if the woman had asked politely OP probably would've moved anyway, but she woke up and chose to be a cunt so she reaped the benefits of that behaviour.

What's not fine is being a rude bitch and verbally abusing someone when you don't get your own way.

Did you also have one coffee which you drank very slowly over the course of three hours?

If I had asked you to move I would have been very polite but people who take up a whole booth by themselves in a busy cafe (normally sitting next to the remains of a coffee they obviously finished hours ago) give me the rage.

The woman was a psycho, buy another coffee next time you're there, then toast to the fact you aren't related to her and never have to see her again!

Sorry this happened to you. I hope you're feeling better now.

I don't understand why people are saying you shouldn't have sat in the seat either. It's a public space and you paid for lunch. It's up to the establishment to set rules on who can sit where, not other customers. Nothing excuses the way this lady spoke to you. Absolutely nothing.

It's not rude at all. It's first come, first serve. You are not more entitled to certain seats than anyone else.

Wish people who wanted to do work would avoid coffee shops and go to a library or somewhere else

People pay to come here for a coffee and a chat etc. If you're sitting at a booth fir an hour thinking it's OK to order a coffee once an hour....don't think that's ok. You've no thought for other customers, especially taking up a booth

Another vote for both unreasonable. One person, four seats? Nah! No reason for that.

The woman’s unreasonable nastiness? As out of order as you are.

They asked if they could join you basically using the spare seats? You said no because you needed the plug (couldn't you have slid across towards the socket?) Yes the woman was annoyed but I can understand why, and don't forget the other underoccupied table may have told her they were waiting for people too.

I think it's pretty unreasonable to under occupy by my than one seat to be honest, when I've had to (often no choice) I've always allowed others to sit at my table and equally I've asked to join others many times and never been told no due to a plug!

I think I’d have rather enjoyed laughing more loudly at each rude comment.

This. YABU. It’s rude to take up four spaces, go to the library if you don’t want to study at home.

She is not unreasonable to be working in a coffee shop. It is a perfectly reasonable use of a coffee shop.

People are entitled to a) sit where they want in a coffee shop and b) work or study if they so desire.

I used to work from a coffee shop when studying for exams and loads of other people do so as well. It's only on here where it's a massive crime...and yet annoying and loud NCT type of groups who hog a table for hours whilst buying very little are apparently perfectly fine.

Solo people need not always accept the dregs that are left over after others have taken what they pleased.

Single person here. I disagree. Single people can't expect to sit at the best tables when the tables are for four. Even if you sit at a table for two you are effectively preventing someone else from sitting at that table, especially if using a laptop. I think in a cafe you do need to accept the dregs unless the cafe is otherwise empty.

I'm with the OP. I'm doing a degree at the moment and it can get monotonous studying at home, so I understand the need for a change of scenery. Even the quiet of home can be tedious, so some background noise might make a nice change. If you're going to be sitting somewhere for a while with your laptop, then of course you want to be comfortable and out of the way, so a booth makes sense. It's first come first served in my book, and if other tables were available then this woman should have gone there instead of asking OP to move, especially as they were only there for 10 minutes.

She sounds very rude especially if there were other tables free. Taking up a booth for 4 for longer than about an hour per drink is also unreasonable though, electricity to charge your laptop also costs the cafe money, hope you bought enough to make up for it!

What should she have done then? Stand around like a lemon until a table you feel is more suitable for a woman on her own to use becomes available?

There's no need for rudeness and I'd never say anything however I am sick of students and the wfh brigade.

Every week in the local cafe there is a woman with her laptop and headset on having her Ms teams meetings in public.

I'm not sure how deep and intense your study is in a cafe if I'm.honest.

We students used to go the library to study. Such an old fashioned idea I know.

I WFH and the n go.to a cafe to eat for 45 mins as a break away. I dont make a cafe my office

I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman

They thought they could intimidate you into moving, that's all. Just like a bully, they target someone they think will not fight back. Good for you for standing your ground.

It's a coffee shop, not a library.