Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

Ideally you woulnd't be using a cafe as an office, as this costs businesses money.

I really don’t understand comments like this. Sometimes I go to a cafe, buy a coffee and work on my laptop for 30-60 mins. Sometimes I go to a cafe, buy a coffee and browse mumsnet on my phone for 30-60 mins. It makes zero difference to the business if I do one rather than the other.

It pisses me off when I go in a cafe and see people using it as work space. I don’t know why owners/ managers allow it.

Is this for real?
It’s a coffee shop, not your remote office where you can book out space.

I’d imagine it’s ‘allowed’ as it would be bizarre and counterproductive for cafe owners to police what people are doing. As long as they’re paying customers and aren’t taking the piss (ie buying one coffee and sitting there for four hours while other customers have nowhere to sit).

Of course YABU, but I suspect you know this. Personally I think coffee shops should ban people from using their premises as offices. No end of times I’ve seen someone with a laptop hogging a large table for 6 people, spreading themselves out for hours, whilst sipping a glass of water! It’s not an office it’s a communal area. I always make a point of plonking myself next to these entitled folk in the hope that they’ll shift.

The brass neck and entitlement of some people is disgusting. It’s getting worse. I’m not a push over but this situation would have stunned me. These morons need standing up to, being verbally abusive should be challenged. It’s like the switching seats on a plane thing, these people need telling to poke off.

I have a friend who spends a good few hours several times a week in a cafe, doing cross stitch.

Like several PP have said, you can do what you want in a cafe, as long as you are making purchases.

You weren't depriving them of any seats, she just wanted yours. You did nothing wrong. She needs to check herself and not be so bloody rude. What a cheek.

I'd've told her to piss off. The language she obviously understands.

I know but see Lingfield101 post.

@Southlondoner88 wasn't using it ‘as an office’, @Lingfield01 - she was studying there, which is different, I think. And she has already said she reckons she spent about £25, so not sitting with just a glass of water either.

And there were other seats available for the other woman - she wanted the OP to shift from the seat where she was settled, just because she wanted that table - I don’t think that is reasonable.

I don’t think you were being unreasonable and agree the woman’s behaviour was out of order.
Sorry haven’t RTFT but I agree that you were targeted as you are a lone woman who looks young/unthreatening. I am similar and it infuriates me that because of this people think they can abuse you without challenge. I seriously doubt she would have said the same to a big man. My DH cant believe some of the aggression I face, it just doesn’t happen to him and also never does to me if I’m with him. I don’t know what the answer to this is though.

You don't think it'd be a bit entitled and arrogant to put in a complaint? 😂😂😂

God, people on this site, man! Crack me fucking up. You can always rely on MN for the laughs.

Loads of people go to coffee shops to do work. It's not uncommon. That's why they have the plug sockets available at tables so people can charge their devices.

It's not unreasonable for OP to use the booth when there are other seating options available to them. It's absolutely unreasonable to demand someone to move when they're using the space and require the plug socket to charge their device whilst they work when there are other seating options available and you're also not intending to stay for very long.

It's also very unreasonable to expect a favour when you're asking in a rude way and then to get verbally abusive when told no. Incredible the mindsets of some people. "Oh, I know how to get what I want, I'll just ask OP in a very rude manner to move and when she says no, I'll throw in a few swear words to ensure that she doesn't feel bad about saying no."

In short, OP isn't unreasonable. There were other seating options available. They just wanted that booth. And no-it's not selfish use a booth for one person if there are other options available for others. And sometimes-that's the way it is. I'd never dream of asking someone to move just because they got there first and then getting pissy about it. It's a fucking cafe. Most towns/villages/wherever have other ones available if there are no suitable seating options. It's not difficult.

It pisses you off?

Why?

What a randomly weird thing to get pissed off about.

If you want a clue why they allow it @ilovecleaning it's because they, unlike you, don't care. So long as the customer is spending money, they're quite happy for the space to be used how the customer sees fit. If it's not your vibe-find somewhere else.

Yep, there is a chap who is in my local Costa a lot with his laptop. He plays games on it, so not working.
Lots of people take up a table for a long time because they have a newspaper/book/Kindle, or are doing something else like some sort of crafts.

If it does not bother the staff, then any customer getting arsey about it is entitled and needs to get a life.

I would have moved for them

lol 😂 That’s me told off. I’ll find somewhere else - because you said so 🤣

Why?

I am a doormat, and even I would have stayed put. They don't own the seats/table.

Seriously? Of course you were unreasonable ……. It’s a coffee shop not a library or office. You took up seats that 4 paying customers could have used . Charge your laptop before you go! Selfish and entitled

Can you explain why a lot of cafes have charging ports now? I am pretty sure it is not so the staff can plug in a hoover when cleaning.

They do it so people can work there. Caffè Nero themselves did a social media “campaign” (a couple of Facebook posts) about Working From Nero. They lost a lot of footfall custom from office workers during lockdown and it very nearly saw them gone. Once sitting in was allowed we actively encouraged people to come and work in the stores. They kept us going and me in a job!

No, but they like to sit there.

So personally, I would have let them

If there were other tables that could accommodate 4 people then I don't think you should move. Especially not for someone so rude! If she'd asked nicely then that might change things.

No need for the verbal abuse, but if you need office space you should rent an office. A cafe I'd for people to eat and drink and chat. An office is a place to work.

It's not for you to police what a cafe/coffee shop is for, though.

Many of them very deliberately advertise themselves as places to go to work, including NERO as pointed out above by someone who (presumably) works for them.

The distinction between coffee chain, pub and restaurant is all very arbitrary.

I think you were being on the selfish side if they had to move a chair to accommodate themselves.

But the other woman was exceptionally rude. You didn’t deserve to be verbally abused.