Would you move tables at a Cafe?

[Southlondoner88]

So I’m inclined to say before I begin that maybe I was being a bit unreasonable but with good reason.

I am studying for really intense exams this week, had to get myself out of the house before I go insane so I came to a local Cafe Nero to do some work and have lunch. I chose a booth for 4 people partly because it was the only seat available when I first came in that looked comfortable and in the quiet area down the back. I would never sit at large booth on my own if this was a restaurant or a pub but it’s a chain, a lot of people do this and I see it all the time.

I was in deep intense study, earphones on, feeling great about myself and my productivity when a woman with her husband and adult child (I’m assuming) came to tap me on the shoulder. She asked if I could sit in the booth on the other side of me, there no please, excuse me or even a smile. I thought about it for a second, this is something I would normally agree to, I have previously swapped bus seats or airplane seats so children can sit together etc and would normally do this without being asked. If they were elderly or had toddlers/ babies or even if they just seemed nice I may have moved as I am a genuinely a nice person(people pleaser). However, after a quick scan of the situation, I politely declined and said I need this booth as there’s a charging socket here. I also didn’t really think they absolutely needed it, there were other seats/ tables free but I guess they wanted a booth. I also might have been persuaded if she was polite but I found her tone quite rude from the beginning and I was proved right because as soon as I declined, she said ‘so your just going to take up a booth because you need to charge your laptop?’ I then just said no again and turned away to which I was then called an ‘arrogant bitch.’ They clearly wanted an argument so I tried to ignore. They sat down at the booth in question and just pulled another seat over so it’s not as if they had nowhere to sit. They also sat there for no longer than 10 minutes and when they left, the woman turned to me and said ‘ hope you have a really shit rest of the day,’ again in a very aggressive tone.

I just think wow, it’s a public, chain cafe where seats are first come, first serve.. why on earth would you even bother someone clearly busy and comfortable when you only wanted to sit there for 10 minutes.

Also I’m not the only one here who is taking up extra space, there’s a couple opposite me sitting at a table for 6. I don’t know why they targeted me, probably because I’m a lone woman and look quite young for my age (been told this and still get ID’d in my 30’s.

it’s really annoyed me and I felt a bit shaky as I hate confrontation.

sorry excessively long post but think it needed context!

The booth charging socket seats are for solo wfh/students not for a single party of 4-5. Our Nero has a sign that says that really clearly and will not allow young children to sit there at all.

The cafe want people to work there, hence the plugs. They got barely any money from 10 minute woman. OP was having drinks and lunch.

You're not having lunch if you're there for 10 minutes. And the OP said there were plenty of free tables. They got one drink out of the rude woman. Lunch and more than one drink from people working there. They have plugs for people who are working.

I go to a cafe just like this with plenty of places for people to work. They obviously encourage as they make money from them. As you say it's a business, they'd soon change if they weren't making money. But it is their business and they decide not random members of the public that think they are more important than other people!

It’s a cafe, not WeWork. Go to a workplace to work instead of taking up four seats at a cafe like selfish arse. The fact that it is a chain is the wankiest excuse ever.

Had the woman not been so rude and unnecessarily aggressive I think most people would think you were being unreasonable. It seems as though (from your opening post) as if the woman wasn’t even asking you to move just if she could sit opposite you… I don’t see why, as one person, you have any right to jurisdiction over a four person booth. Even if I have mistaken this and she was asking you to move it is a reasonable request. One person doesn’t need a four person booth. If you were working there you were presumably planning on staying for a few hours. How much did you spend? Because I’d surprised if you bought more then 2 drinks and a panini. Let’s say that comes to approx £13. The cafe (it being a chain is irrelevant) could have made at least 4 times this per hour if the table was full to capacity. To be honest I don’t even that’s really the issue. The issue you is your attitude. You do come across as entitled, and frankly, much younger than you admit to being. Why do you think anyone else should care that you’re studying, or that you got in to some kind of groove? Cafes are not offices. Strangers in cafes are not your employer, colleague or teacher. They have come to relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends. Your productivity is of very little interest to them. It’s odd that you think it would be. I think it’s telling that you also think you look much younger then you are. It might be time to grow up just a little bit.

I did say I see both sides and that last part you was a general thought not exactly at OP. There were far more aggressive replies you didn't quote.

I would if someone was polite.

I think your response was appropriate.

Why do you think anyone else should care that you’re studying, or that you got in to some kind of groove? Cafes are not offices. Strangers in cafes are not your employer, colleague or teacher. They have come to relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends. Your productivity is of very little interest to them.

By the same token, why should she care about a complete stranger's desire to "relax, have something nice to eat/drink and socialise with family/friends"?

Why do you think cafes are for relaxing over working?

They are for whatever you want them to be within reason as long as you are purchasing.

Socialising
Reading
Relaxing
Entertaining kids
Toddler group meet ups
WORKING
Recovering from a night out
Escaping the house for a couple of hours.

Who are you to dictate what people are allowed to use them for?

@HowIrresponsible

I'd wager the cafe would rather have 2-4 people at a 4 person table who leave and are replaced by more people all buying food / coffee than one student who buys lunch at £10 and is there for the day.
You would make sense if the cafe was full but as the cafe had other 4 seat tables free you make no sense at all

This is one of those threads where it feels like MN is a parallel universe - the vitriol at people using cafes to work in is just baffling.
I worked in a cafe today while DD was at a club for a couple of hours, it’s a lovely independent cafe with a bustling downstairs and then an upstairs which has a bit of a corridor vibe so they’ve set it up with lots of small tables, plugs and WiFi. Absolutely designed for working and whenever I’ve gone there it’s been all customers on laptops. It’s a super productive place to work with great coffee.
Our local pub has regular home-workers days mid week with free tea and coffee refills and fixed price lunch - they clearly want people there 9-2 and it’s turned into a real networking hub.
but in MN land this type of behaviour is abhorrent 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sorry but you were rude and unreasonable. I understand your daughter needing space to sit down, but it’s not reasonable to put your bag on the seat. What if one of the women or children also had a problem and needed to sit down? Free seats are for people to sit on, you don’t have a right to stop others using them

Not my local coffee shop. As already mentioned the owner
welcomes local business people. They often gather to have coffee & lunch & stay for hours.

Business people gathering (and probably spending) is quite different to one person with their laptop at a table for 4.

Don't be daft. You can use a cafe for pretty much anything you want. It's up to the manager if they don't want workers there (never heard of this before)

The number of people not reading what OP said about there being other tables available for rude woman's party to choose from is quite amazing.

Rude woman wanted OP's table as she was an entitled CF, not because there was nowhere else for them to sit.

@mummyrolling2014 - the OP has said that she spent about £25 during her time at the cafe, so definitely not occupying the table for hours with just one coffee.

Business people gathering (and probably spending) is quite different to one person with their laptop at a table for 4.

The OP bought lunch and a coffee. Probably at least as much as 4 coffees, and certainly more than a group of yummy mummies taking up huge amounts of space with prams, sitting on one coffee each, bringing their own food, and leaving a mess.

Added to which, when I see such a group in a café, I go elsewhere, so they lose another person's custom as well.

A panini is like £1 more than most of the coffees at Cafe Nero. She'd probably have to eat more like 2 drinks, a panini and a cake to break even, before accounting for electric and lack of turnover. 4 coffees in and out in 10 mins is far better for business than one hours long lunch.

It may be first come first served in a cafe, and maybe she was rude, especially if there was room elsewhere in there. But, the cafe isn't an extension of your office and taking up a place for 4 people for just you seems rather entitled. Like others have said, I am surprised a member of staff didn't mention it if you were there for a while because it is a coffee shop - not an office.

Exactly this. It doesn't matter what any customers opinion is, or what they think should happen, it's up to the person owning/running and staff on their behalf, to decide what works for their business and allow/encourage/enforce that.

If it doesn't suit you then you find somewhere that does, it might seem like a bad business decision to you, because it's not what you want and the cafe is losing your money, but anyone's money is as good, it all does the same thing, and losing yours often means they're gaining someone else's which might be more, or might be more consistent. Just because you're a customer doesn't mean you get to dictate how the business is run. If you don't like it then you find somewhere you do, you're as free to do that as the owner/manager is to make decisions about the business they're running, no one's got a gun to your head making you use the place that you don't like because they won't allow laptops and you want to use one, or because they do allow laptops and let people sit on free tables and you don't think that's right.

The only people who have 'jurisdiction' over the tables and who sits at them are the people running it.

If there were reasons the family needed the booth (and there can be reasons to do with anxiety and other conditions where people need the extra privacy) then they should have spoken to the staff. The staff can then decide whether they prefer to permit OPs use of the booth or ask her to move to accommodate the other customers. The staff are in charge and its their call. Never any need for the public to get into rows with each other about this sort of thing when they are all merely 'guests' of the establishment.

I do agree it’s annoying when a large group of people takes over a small space. It’s different in a restaurant when they will have booked in advance.

OP was studying, not working. So she probably does not have an office anyway.

Ummm… no. Cafes from a customer’s point of view are for eating and drinking. From a manager/business owner’s perspective, they are about making profit. No one opens a cafe so people can read or entertain kids. You are thinking of a library/bookshop/park. People do these things in cafes but they are not the primary purpose of the cafe, nor should they be. The point is when they become the primary purpose the business makes less profit because people like the OP hog tables, and paying customers are turned away or put off by the attitude of those who can’t distinguish between an office and a coffee shop.