Husband allowed his mother to print my photos

[Ash1006]

So we've just had our 2nd baby and I'm sick of not having decent pictures so I found a photographer arranged some photos. My MIL kept banging on about wanting a picture of the 4 of us not to me just to husband bare in mind baby is only now 16 weeks old.
So we had photos taken in May and he asked about giving his mum one and I said not really happy as were only getting 5 and I want to put them up in my house, and it's weird to have same pictures also I'm really not photogenic so took lot for me to do this. This week I said we really must get those printed and framed and he told me his mum already has them up in her house.

AIBU to be fuming I really feel like she should take it down, I did all the work arranged photographer our time to have them done and paid for them amd yet she's the one displaying.

They make little to no effort with our children or us. Drive past frequently and never come round unless we invite them when they do come will only come in afternoon then complain that 2yo only wants to watch tv and grumpy as we've just woken her.

And some people have real problems to worry about..... totally unreasonable

That’s her birthday and Christmas present sorted then !

In July?

@Fargo79 and how much effort does OP make? You have literally no idea. It could be zero.

It sounds like there's something more going on here. Whether that's tiredness and hormones or lots of missing backstory is impossible to tell from the limited information.

My ex-in-laws are not my favourite people. But any time I have ever had a half-decent or 'official' photo of the DC, I've shared it with everyone. My parents tactfully took down any photos that had XH in them after we separated, but I'm pretty sure there are copies of the same professional photos of our DC when younger in my house, XH's house, and at my DP's, ex-in-laws', and probably ex-SIL's (she's the weirdly possessive one who overshares on social media in this family).

I don't think your MIL has done anything wrong on this occasion, but it's probably worth thinking about what the underlying issue is that's causing you so much upset. If it's tiredness and hormones then give yourself a break, and move on. If there's something else behind it then maybe you need to talk it over with your DH.

@Fargo79 but they come when invited? What's the issue?

Jesus Christ some people are weird!

never come round unless we invite them

I wonder why, when you’re this weird about them. You are being beyond unreasonable OP.

Don’t you mean HEART shaped frames?

I can’t see the issue here either… print the photos and display them in the house.

You obviously don’t like her for totally separate reasons and are using this as an excuse.

Sorry but you sound really really horrible and you need to get a grip.

Absolutely. I wish I could be bothered to save the links to these threads on order to redirect then when needed.
.
MILs are held hostage to good fortune when their sons find a partner and mother to their offspring.
At least in this case, the son is acting as he should, and entirely reasonably providing his mum with the download she needs, to be able to enjoy the photo of those she loves most. I hope he continues to have her back when necessary, just as a daughter would for her mum.

Poor dh. Actually having to ask if his mother can have a photo of him and his family

Indeed. It looks as though he's in for a rough ride.

My mum has pics of her kids, grandkids and great grandkids in her house. We frame nice pics we've taken, she has the latest official school pics etc. What's the issue with the same pics?

Mountain, molehill...

I think the issue here is that your MIL took it upon herself to get the five photos that you’d paid for printed and now you have to pay for more, is that right? I think she’s unreasonable to do that behind your back. But you are unreasonable to not allow her to display any of the photos at all. It’s normal to want photos of family

Incredibly unreasonable.

You sound like such hard work.
I really think you are being completely selfish and unfair.
It's her grandkids and maybe she never had a warm welcome from you.
Personally I would be honoured if someone wanted a picture of me.
Please stop seeing this person as a mother in law but the children's grandparent who wants their pictures in their house.
You are totally out of order.
I am hoping it hormones.

😂😂😂

Wow OP YABVU

She’s probably to scared to come round uninvited, she’s be banished for years. It sounds like she respecting you boundaries.

if she had just her son and grandchildren, you’d moan. She can’t win this one.

I get where you're coming from.
your MIL doesn't have to make any effort but whatever she decides she wants gets handed to her on a plate.
It's like you have no control of anything where she's concerned.
to others it seems like nothing but to you it's just another thing you get no say in.

You really need a hard look at your yourself.
Really selfish and who exactly are you saying they can't have the same pictures. .I truly feel sorry for your husband who is stuck in a situation where his parents are perfectly reasonable and you are causing total drama.
Grow up.

Nope. Can’t see any issues here.

Same photos, surely that’s quite normal. It’s why we used to buy photo packs from the school photos once upon a time, so Granny and Nanny and Auntie Dot and the neighbour etc could all have one.

As for coming when invited, have a read of all the MN threads moaning about unannounced visits!

Honestly I think you are being completely rediculous and I am not sure why your husband hasn't just told you to get a grip and to stop talking about his Mum like this.

YANBU to be annoyed with your DH. YABU to want your MIL to take the picture down. Only visiting when invited is normal. It's fine to say to them, "DC is much cheerier and more playful in the morning. Why don't you come at 10.30 next time?" Then rinse and repeat if they keep complaining.