Husband allowed his mother to print my photos

[Ash1006]

So we've just had our 2nd baby and I'm sick of not having decent pictures so I found a photographer arranged some photos. My MIL kept banging on about wanting a picture of the 4 of us not to me just to husband bare in mind baby is only now 16 weeks old.
So we had photos taken in May and he asked about giving his mum one and I said not really happy as were only getting 5 and I want to put them up in my house, and it's weird to have same pictures also I'm really not photogenic so took lot for me to do this. This week I said we really must get those printed and framed and he told me his mum already has them up in her house.

AIBU to be fuming I really feel like she should take it down, I did all the work arranged photographer our time to have them done and paid for them amd yet she's the one displaying.

They make little to no effort with our children or us. Drive past frequently and never come round unless we invite them when they do come will only come in afternoon then complain that 2yo only wants to watch tv and grumpy as we've just woken her.

@Boysnme where does it say she printed them and he gave them away? It literally says ‘This week I said we really must get those printed and framed and he told me his mum already has them up in her house’. Reading it made it sound like they haven’t been printed or framed yet. So if they were sent to the mum and she printed them then really this is silly.

It sounds as if you might struggle with communication and that has led to the ILs being cautious around you, which in turn makes you feel rejected by them.

You can't have a friendly casual relationship where people drop in and have absolutely everything on your terms always.

Try putting yourself in their shoes, they probably feel they can't win with you. Adding the pictures on their walls to the list of things that get you "fuming" isn't going to lead to a better relationship. Let it go and invite them round.

I often say my DH is my Mum’s favourite child 😂

To be fair, the OP doesn't even think it's his house too, all about 'my house', so he's not much chance of the photos!

Are you serious ....so you expect them to book a photo studio for their children and grand children's photo just so they don't use the photos their son has sent to them. How bat shit is that?
The op is obviously distant with them by her post and would probably say they forever call asking to visit how rude they need to wait to be invited.

But why did she say no? She says she only had them done because mil was asking for a group picture then finally gave in but didn't want to share it.....the husband is also in the picture with the kids that are half his....maybe op should ask to be cut out of mils versions.

DS1 was very special as we had tried for a baby for 5yrs and conceived after a few rounds of fertility treatment.

When he was newborn SIL took pics of him and had them printed and framed and gave them to family (including us) as Xmas presents!

That’s what we had planned to do as DS was OUR baby!

SIL already had her own kids so not as though she hadn’t had the chance to give framed pics of her own.

🤣🤣🤣

I wondered that too! 😂I think there is a gallery wall of HEART shaped frames.

This is harsh, @mrsdineen2. It comes across as if you’re dismissing the OP and her feelings.

If your MIL wants to put up pictures of her son and his family then she can. He obviously gave her the pictures or ordered them for her. She is his mother and he is her son.
Her having pictures on her walls doesn't stop you having them. Get yours up and don't worry about what pictures she has.

Don't you mean HEART shaped frames?

They printed photos that your DH, their DS sent them - not unreasonable at all and it sounds like they'd been waiting quite some time for them

They drive past and don't come round unless we invite - most people consider this polite and would love their ILs too

They only come in afternoon then DC is grumpy as woken - again perfectly reasonable but suggest a time after DC has woken or let them wait

They complain 2 year old only wants to watch TV - many ILs would complain at this or atleast think it

Yes, well I think the majority of us on this thread are rather dismissive of OP's feelings on this matter - rightly so.

On the wall moubtee next to the large quirky font words 'LOVE, LAUGHTER, HAPPINESS'.

But she probably thought she was being thoughtful.

All babies are very special. It's not a rite of passage to give out framed photos to relatives, in fact, I've never heard of anyone doing it and if it is a "thing" it's a time-consuming thing that most new parents could well do without.

I'm flabbergasted at people like you and OP thinking that having family members be involved and want to display pictures of your children and invite your new baby into the family is somehow treading on your toes.

My own SIL enjoys photography and has gifted us photographs she has taken of my SD and DD several times and also displayed them in her own home, we have never thought anything beyond that it's a lovely gift. My husband isn't lucky enough to have any immediate family other than SIL, but if he did, her giving them a photo of our children would be our least worry.

I think you are being unreasonable. Her having the photos doesn’t negatively affect you; you’re just miffed that she’s getting a benefit.

She doesn’t sound like the world’s most involved and loving grandparent which seems to be colouring your view of the situation. It’s a shame when grandparents aren’t as keen as people want them to be, but I don’t think it really has a bearing on this situation because her having the photos doesn’t have an impact on your family at all.

When my DH and I got married, my in-laws only put one photo of the wedding up - it was the one of him, on his own, signing the register… 🤯

She loves you all! She’s proud of you! Stop being a twit!!

god my mum has basically a shrine of her grandkids 😂😂 completely unreasonable get a grip

Yabu. Your mil is amazing to get it done without bothering you after waiting so long for you to do it. Freeprints...I print off some every month and give to inlaws and my parents and us...done it since month one. Great way to keep on top of the photos on your phone. All grandparents have photos of their grandchildren in their house and 4 months is a long time to wait.

I think the problem here is is that she did not ask you.

No. She asked her son. The children's father. Just like if I was going to ask for some photos of my grandkids, I'd ask my daughter. It wouldn't occur to me that I'd need to ask my son in law as well.

Wow. Having spent many years reading mumsnet daily, I feel for mother in laws everywhere! They really can’t do right for doing wrong. They’re too involved, they’re not involved enough. Every little thing is dissected. With two DDs it looks right now like I’ll be having son in laws. So grateful. DILs sound like a fucking nightmare!