Husband allowed his mother to print my photos

[Ash1006]

So we've just had our 2nd baby and I'm sick of not having decent pictures so I found a photographer arranged some photos. My MIL kept banging on about wanting a picture of the 4 of us not to me just to husband bare in mind baby is only now 16 weeks old.
So we had photos taken in May and he asked about giving his mum one and I said not really happy as were only getting 5 and I want to put them up in my house, and it's weird to have same pictures also I'm really not photogenic so took lot for me to do this. This week I said we really must get those printed and framed and he told me his mum already has them up in her house.

AIBU to be fuming I really feel like she should take it down, I did all the work arranged photographer our time to have them done and paid for them amd yet she's the one displaying.

They make little to no effort with our children or us. Drive past frequently and never come round unless we invite them when they do come will only come in afternoon then complain that 2yo only wants to watch tv and grumpy as we've just woken her.

Oh dear OP. Sounds like you have too much time on your hands

I don’t understand the problem, is there something else wrong and it’s not really about the photos at all?

If she only comes when invited and you want her to come around more, just invite her more. Or say she’s welcome to drop in whenever if that’s what you want.

Ahh yes 🤣

Is it that you paid for 5 photos and she has them and you'll have to pay extra?

Very normal for grandparents to have family photos up in their house, both sides have family photos of us up. I hate my photo, but the photos up in my house are of the people I love, so I appreciate others making that gesture.

Grandparents don't have to earn the right to have pictures of their grandkids unless they've been abusive or something. YABU.

She doesn’t come round uninvited? She waits for you to ask her? God what a bitch!!

Presumably OP has bought digital copies and her husband do has shared them with his mother.

Given he and his children make up the majority of the people in the photo, I’m not sure what is unreasonable about this. Legally what is the OP’s is also his……..

Saying this in a kindly manner op. You seem to have a lot of issues here nothing you have posted seem like an issue .So have you thought about how you can manage your anxiety around being in photos, body image as this isn't good to pass onto dc.
Invite them when it's a better time for the dc .They could be a support to you all and lots of people loving your dc is a positive

I really feel like she should take it down

This isn’t really about the photos is it OP?

They make little to no effort with our children or us.

@Ash1006 you’re getting a bashing here but I think this is what it is about. Feeling that your PIL’s aren’t interested and make no effort unless you arrange things (invite them) and then it’s galling to see them playing happy families displaying your photos. Is that it?

If it is, then try to step back a bit and try to accept that they won’t measure up to what you hoped the relationship would be like. You’ll feel better about it if you do.

I've never once dropped in on my own daughters without asking or being invited. I've felt a tug when driving past as I always love to see them, but I remember the MN rules.

Here is a MIL who will never be able to do anything right. I really feel for her. Fancy wanting photos of those you love most and letting your son provide them. Appaling behaviour. 🙄

I understand where you are coming from with the ‘unphotogenic’ issue. I always photograph badly and so for my wedding a family friend was taking the photos with instructions not to pass them on to MIL before I had chance to select the ones I liked. Of course MIL did get the photos, sent them round to the whole family and printed them out, loads of them were really unflattering. I was upset and furious but I didn’t say anything as it would seem unreasonable, people who don’t have this anxiety around photos won’t understand.

You are being unreasonable.

That’s helpful.

Your first paragraph is what I'm guessing happened, just wondering if I'm wrong.

Fully agree with your second paragraph.

If DH told me I could give my mum one of our family photos he would find my reply was less than polite.

YABU. Gosh. Just print your own copies and maybe reflect on all the people who wish that their in laws were interested in or proud of their families.

Maybe it's the hormones or tiredness but kindly it's all very petty.

I wonder if they keep their distance because you're so weirdly territorial?

This is not the route to a closer relationship.

Drive past frequently and never come round unless we invite them
Do you have this in the front garden?

YABU

What crime has your DH committed? Presumably, you're not the keeper of the photos, he's allowed an opinion?

Coming when they're invited, is fair. I don't imagine you'd welcome u requested drop ins?

Your poor MIL. Get a grip.

Ugh really hate all the unreasonable MIL hatred.

Ffs

YABU and making an issue out of nothing. Be grateful you have family that value you enough to want your pictures in their home. My DM passed away when DC was 5 I would give anything to go back to the days when I had to get 2 prints of any photos.