Dd keeps saying she feels like she has done something wrong

[Whatabeautifulsunset]

Starting to feel worried.
My Dd is 6 in summer and has been saying multiple times a day for a week or so that she feels like she has done something wrong. She seems so nervous and worried and keeps telling me and Dh every little thing she’s done. I’m constantly reassuring her and saying she hasn’t done anything wrong and she’s not naughty and every child does silly things sometimes and she’s just a child and learning. She gets very upset if she’s told off at school or by us, it’s never harsh and she seems to be ultra sensitive and nervous. Feeling like a crap parent and that we must be coming down too hard on her, really don’t feel I do and her teacher at school said she reacts v badly to any perceived telling off/criticism. She’s also been pointing out people and saying they look horrible because they have spots and she’s scared or they’re fat. She has never once spoken or acted like this before. She will keep coming and telling me things she said to her friend months ago and saying she feels as though she’s done something wrong.
Please can anyone tell me what might be wrong and what we can do to help her? It’s all v out of character 😔

@HateMyRubbishBoss I’ve done so much research on it all. She initially had Movilax two years ago for three months off the Dr, it had a really bad effect on her, so I took her off and use magnesium citrate, coconut oil, kiwis etc etc. I’ve tried with the Kefir but she hates the taste, I’ve even tried strawberry flavoured etc, will try again

My autistic DD is like this.

It can be something that happens in autism or ADHD. (RSD as mentioned by pp)

It feels awful from the inside.

Please OP and I am say this in the nicest way: Don't dismiss the advice from people and professionals in this thread saying get your daughter checked by a child psychologist.

I wasted a lot of time myself trying to avoid this for the same reasons as you are: you don't want her to feel she has something wrong etc.

It's a total waste of time to look for home remedies, supplements, keffir, probiotics etc.

Don't waste time. I did and I wish I sent mine earlier to a professional. We have avoided the scalation of the problem.

Very much the signs for OCD.

@girlswillbegirls The probiotics etc are for the constipation, she has only had similar problems when being impacted, I’m so hoping it I can resolve this, the issues may go away 🙏

I feel like this sounds like anxiety of some form. I was very similar as a child.

Is there some way she could have play therapy or something similar where she could explode this?

Some of it sounds like intrusive thoughts which can be caused by lots of different things. OCD, anxiety, PTSD. I think some people have mentioned ASD because people who have ASD often also struggle with anxiety.

I don't have ASD but this is much like me. Has she experienced any trauma before her behaviour changed?

Sorry I only just logged on again today - she is 10.

Posted too soon...

Yes absolutely, as soon as we started seeing the psychologist the constipation just disappeared. Prior to this she had had blood tests, movicol sachets, visits to the specialist etc etc as they couldn't work out why.

This sounds like she is having intrusive thoughts and is often a symptom of OCD. If she’s recently been ill have you considered PANDAS?

The feeling of impending doom, very very common in my family and we all have ADHD or autism. I spent my entire childhood feeling like the sky was about to collapse in on me and I'd lie in bed going over every single thing I'd said/done that day and rubbing through alternative scenarios and how I could do better even though I hadn't even dove anything wrong. It's exhausting.

My youngest daughter was the same. She was recently diagnosed at16 after 3-4 years of horrific anxiety and school avoidance and she started methylphenidate and it's transformed her. She's calmer, more focused and is like a weight has lifted off her.

She’s said it less today but did say ‘I feel like doing something mean and I don’t know why’
when she was splashing in the pool 😔
I’ve noticed she often says things and looks worried just before she goes to try for a poo, it’s all so strange

Constipation can cause confusion if left untreated, but it sounds more like hyperanxiety, it's best dealt with by health professionals who can come at it from several.angles and hopefully unravel.what's going on

Sorry not RTFT but have you looked Into PANDAS?
kidshealth.org/en/parents/pandas.html#:~:text=When%20it's%20clear%20that%20a,is%20linked%20to%20another%20infection.

Is there an adult in her life who could be harming her. Sorry to suggest something like that.

Is there any chance she is being bullied at school? This can trigger feelings of self doubt and the need for constant reassurance.

@Heyhoitsme She’s never alone with anyone away from us

@NoDought There was a boy at school a couple of months ago hitting, we went in and it was dealt with at school. Around the same time, well just after, she got her tummy troubles and has been off school on and off, she’s been solidly off now for a few weeks (it’s now school holidays where we are) so she’s not seen him. I do know that it bothered her at the time

This sounds very very much like OCD. The other people saying OCD have hit the nail on the head. I speak from experience as a child who was like this. My OCD is now extremely well controlled though. As hard as it is, the reassurance will make it worse in the long run. I know its the most natural thing in the world to reassure your child but with ocd you need to go against your natural instinct to reassure, Im afraid. Good luck.

Haven't rtft but could it be anxiety? That's how mine starts, I get a dreaded feeling in my stomach as if I've done something wrong and im just about to get caught out. The feeling is that strong it makes me feel sick.

Hi OP,

I posted earlier about my own experiences as a child. I was very much like your daughter and also suffered with constipation. It was OCD and I did find it difficult to comprehend as a child. I think I was probably about 7 or 8 when it started and it escalated into checking doors/locks and a lot of rituals. I would really try and get her help now as it's upsetting and confusing as a child.

There was no trigger for me, I'm lucky and had an idyllic childhood with a wonderful family, no bullying or other issues at school. It doesn't mean you've done anything wrong, mental illness doesn't discriminate but you are in a position to do some early intervention that wasn't available to me or others in the thread. I didn't tell too many adults about it and I don't think intrusive thoughts were very well understood when I was growing up in the 90s but I do know that someone picking up on my thoughts, explaining why I was having them and that it was ok, I wasn't a horrible person, would have been a tremendous help. As others say challenging the thoughts is very important, but reassurance that it's not her, it's an illness, will help. Talking really does take a huge weight off.

Another suggestion here that you have a look at OCD, specifically moral OCD. Natasha Jennings on YouTube has lots of really useful vids that might explain what's going on for your daughter.....

OP I think it's the other way around. Once the root cause of the anxiety is discovered and dealt with (through a professional- good child psychologist), the constipation will disappear.
Best of luck OP, I know how it feels.
But please look for professional help and don't delay it x

OP i could have written this post - even down to the constipation (i was born 1980’s so girls with autism wasn’t even considered I was diagnosed autistic and OCD in my early 40’s)

im not trying to diagnose your girl but it’s something to be aware of. I remember the stomach pain from the anxiety and the constant fretting i had done something wrong (my childhood was Brutal and I was viciously brutalised which made it worse and I know you’re not abusive to your DD)

thank you for being so aware of her needs but the only thing that has helped me is therapy - is this something you can look at for your DD because sometimes a stranger is easier to talk to especially if they can relate to her

good luck x

I haven’t read the entire thread but it sounds like confession type OCD. It’s relatively common and absolutely treatable. I would try to find a child psychologist (ideally one who specialises in OCD) as soon as you can.

This sounds very much like anxiety to me. Have you tried play therapy? It might help find out if theres something going on shes afraid to tell you about or cant verbalise. Id go down that route before thinking of autism etc. Best of luck x

I think the point out people and taking criticism very hard could be indicators of ASD.

The feeling she's done something wrong seems like perhaps anxiety which again could be linked to ASD.

I think you're doing all the right things to reassure her.

If you start the process for ASD assessment you'll get to do a screening questionnaire and then you'll have more idea if it is a possibility.