Invited to a sparrow's lunch

[FluentRubyDog]

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

Invite her for a cup of tea. Then serve as much food as you like.

Thin sliced bread and low-fast spread, I assume. Sounds like an absolute feast ... not. I'd just write this off to experience. If you must invite her back, maybe put out a basket of bread or rolls, cheeseboard and fruit bowl so you can each take what you want without drawing attention to portion sizes.

I don't know but if she sees this thread, it won't be a problem again.

If she doesn't happen to spot it, just give her whatever lunch you would normally have.

Assuming it's real and she really did give you one sandwich between two.

Well presumably you can get more food at home. She invited you, which is a nice gesture. Perhaps she's just not very good at catering, or usually eats very little at lunchtime.

Sounds like she has a complicated relationship with food.

Is she trying to lose a lot of baby weight? Or maybe she's embarrassed by her weight and doesn't want you to think she eats loads?

So many women have issues with weight

I'd invite her but serve whatever you usually would. In this situation I'd usually put sandwiches, fruit, cake etc on the table and allow guests to serve themselves.

How long until the first reply saying "well I'd struggle to hoover up all of that!" from the Mumsnet Competitive Undereating Brigade?

I couldn't possibly manage a whole custard cream

I read this wrong and thought the food was for your kids and you had toddlers.

Invite her round to your house for a dominos.

Grapes! You might as well inject the sugar straight into your arse 😁 Some people are really funny with food, at least you know to meet in a cafe or something now so you can eat a proper meal.

Reminds me of staying with DH's glamorous French aunty when I was pregnant. We were fed a few crumbs of organic granola for breakfast and a green salad for lunch. Luckily we went out for dinner or I would have have been raiding the cupboard when everyone was in bed.

If I had a friend over, I'd split the custard cream in half. That's what they're designed for, isn't it? I'd have to scrape the cream out, of course - couldn't possibly finish that!

A single Kraft cheese slice between two people!?
That is bizarre. I'm quite a light eater, but you'd think she'd offer you a whole sandwich, at the least? Or just ask you in for a tea if she's not keen on food?
The custard cream was excessive though, fgs you'll not fit back out through the door at that rate! Lol

5 whole grapes each? The greed of you both!!!!

I don’t see why you’re quite so outraged about it. Ok, you were hungry for a bit, and you’ll know to eat in advance of lunch at hers if your invited again, but she didn’t starve your baby or attack you with a machete. You were able to eat as soon as you got home.

She may have a tiny appetite, a complex relationship with food, a full-blown eating disorder, eat a giant breakfast and dinner but very little in the middle of the day and not grasp that others don’t do the same. She may be a competitive underwater, or struggling with her post-part I’m body. She may simply be a nervous host who doesn’t often have people around, and either under feeds or over feeds, and you got her on the under feeding day.

You can’t know, obviously, but I don’t see why it has to impact how you cater for her if you invite her back. Just serve her the food type and quantity you would normally eat, and she eats or leave it as she pleases, surely? We don’t calibrate our appetite according to who we’re eating with.

Lots of women don't really eat lunch. This is a truth I learned as a SAHM (and probs explains my relative size given I eat quite healthily).

I had to Google "Kraft cheese slice" . WTF ?

Looks like yellow plastic. Is it real cheese ?

That sandwich sounded bad enough until you dropped the bombshell you only got half of it!

Gobsmacked

No, it really is yellow plastic.

Oh god, it’s my MIL’s sized portions. I hide snacks in my handbag if we’re there over a meal time.

She thinks individual yogurts are for sharing.

Very carb heavy

Ever had a McDonald’s cheeseburger? That kind of ‘cheese’.

People who don't really eat lunch don't invite others back for lunch, surely? She should have said 'Come back for a cup of tea' if that's basically all she was going to offer. Half a plastic sandwich is not lunch. I don't understand how anybody can reach adulthood without grasping that if you offer hospitality it needs to be generous. Err on the side of generosity.

Funny thing is, she seems like an absolutely normal person, I'd never have thought she'd be an undereater... shows you you can't really ever tell. She seems a perfectly normal weight, bump still slightly there 6 weeks on, but otherwise fine.

Invite her. Don't stoop to her level. Provide a normal size. And then think nothing of it.

Or if you become friends, and she's tighter than a gnats arse, just dump her, very unattractive trait.