Invited to a sparrow's lunch

[FluentRubyDog]

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

Yes maybe she only had two proper slices of bread left (+ crusts) and didn't realise until she got home. Although this doesn't explain only one custard cream.. Or the half filled mug of tea.

I eat LOTS and even more when BFing, I’d have probably asked for more food / said I’ll have to go as I’m hungry!

Is it just me who finds it really poor form to start a thread to slag off someone you call friend and who invited you into their home?

Stop being so ungrateful and be more thoughtful that she invited you or was at least trying to make an effort with you. Maybe the fridge was stocked and there's a weekly meal plan in place? So it's not the case there's loads of food just laying around to be served to last minute lunch guests. Just go home and then have a second lunch but quit being so bitchy about her -she probably trying to do her best and least offered to have you around first.

She's 6 weeks post partum OP? Honestly OP give her a break

I don’t eat lunch and nor do I eat cheese 🤣

You can't base her whole diet on one meal that she hosted.

There's no toddlers, just her and baby DS (and DH who wasn't in at the time).

Maybe other people favour different regimes, but when you're EBF a very hungry baby, this barely registers as a snack. As a fellow EBF I'd have thought she'd have realised that, but apparently not.

And I will moan about it if I tried to politely decline (precisely because I know exactly what it's like with a 6 week old baby) but she insisted. Vehemently.

Very odd but if I liked her as a person it wouldn't put me off. I'd invite her back and serve something picnic- or buffet-style so you can help yourselves to portion sizes.

Any chance she is delirious with plain old lack of sleep?

Crikey, I’d have died of hunger! Just make whatever you would normally if you invite her to yours.

Didn't seem so. Perky even. She's been blessed with a good sleeper (not jealous at all).

Hmm... sounds like the size of food I snack on whilst deciding what to have for lunch 😆

If you like her, OP maybe just go out for coffee next time. Some people have wildly complicated issues with food and eating in front of others.

That is so odd. Not just the ridiculously mean portion sizes but serving up plastic cheese and sliced pan bread. I can't imagine experiencing that.

I remember my very well to do aunt inviting my partner and I to dinner on a Saturday night. We came armed with wine, a cheese board and a small gift. She is on my late father's side and I didn't really know his side of the family. She is extremely wealthy with a taste for the finer things in life. She served up a perfectly tasty spaghetti bolognese with the parmesan shaker thing. I remember being surprised. It was a perfectly pleasant meal but there was nothing else: starter, sides, salads. I think there was a supermarket dessert. It was what I would have been happy to eat at home but not entertaining food.

Did you go for lunch with my mum??

Well some people are odd about food and she's obviously one of them! If you invite her back, I would just serve up your normal portions. But you're under no obligation to reciprocate or carry on the friendship 🤷‍♀️

A WHOLE half teaspoon?! It's upsetting that these days people think that's a "normal" portion - no wonder we have such an obesity epidemic 😥

Either her eating habits are different from yours or she was worried about being judged by you (I can't imagine why...!) and so cut her normal portions significantly.

Are you slimmer than her? If so she may have been self-conscious and assumed that you don't eat much.

Just invite her over and behave as you normally would re food type and portion size.

No need for a flappy drama!

Good grief.

I think attitudes towards food and portion size are built from childhood. I have a friend, who is lovely, educated, very generous and lots of other great attributes who is very much a believer in mumsnet MASSIVE salads and chickens that can be stretched over ten meals. She would invite me and my 3 teens for lunch, along with her 2 teens and serve one Asda pizza and be waxing lyrical about how MASSIVE it is and she'd literally cut it into 2 inch slices and we'd get one or two each with about 3 potato wedges. My dc would be looking at each other like and hers are behaving as if this is a really substantial meal. Friend does not have any money issues, but comes from a very large Irish family where I think money was very tight and they got used to very small portions.
My family OTOH are food hoarders, my DGM said she never got over the rationing years and majorly overcompensated the rest of her life. There's always loads of food served, with plenty for seconds and undoubtedly there will be stuff left over too. My DM is exactly the same, anxiety if she's down to only three of each tin/packet and the chest freezer is always bunged with stuff " just in case".

Very strange

Half a plastic cheese Sarnie

Oh no not a SLICED WHITE PAN 😂

Reminds me of dinner with a friend once - she was dieting at the time. Presented me with a tiny cereal bowl of veggie bolognaise (I mean, half full) and proudly declared that it would ‘keep us full for hours’ - guess the look on my face said otherwise.

It's the "I can't imagine experiencing that", it's just peak mumsnet 😂

You really do come across as horribly unpleasant about her. I don’t think I’d want to share my sandwich with you tbh. Hopefully she realises how you really feel about her and doesn’t make the mistake of inviting you over again. Poor woman.

Maybe she's just obsessed with losing baby weight really fast and assumes you are too. Reckons she's doing you a favour!