Invited to a sparrow's lunch

[FluentRubyDog]

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

No, it's closer in chemical composition to a washing up liquid bottle 😜 but bloody lush melted on a burger!

We call it "dirty cheese" in our house. Basically yellow plastic but good on a proper greasy burger van burger.

I had a McDonalds burger in - I think - 1987.
Can't remember if it had a yellow plastic filling.

Never wanted to repeat the experience.

Exactly. So many people on this thread with zero consideration for their guests and thinking that this is acceptable!
YANBU OP. I'd avoid any meal invites with this woman

🙄 here they come 🤣

Did you have a nice catch up though?

I think I'd ignore the little lunch and focus on if she's a good babymum neighbour-friend to have?

Why? Mcdonalds is banging!

Yes, you're right. I was thinking of women with small children who eat food and would invite you and the kids for lunch and feed the kid but not you (or herself).

Does she have an older child at all?

I once, in baby fog, went on autopilot and made a lunch for my toddler and I. Half a wrap each, a few grapes, a few strawberries and a cheese straw (I would always have a peaceful sandwich shortly after while he napped). Put it down on the table and remembered he was at nursery and I’d served that to my friend. Luckily she howled with laughter at my baby brain 😂

She may have an eating disorder or maybe someone in her family has been giving her a hard time about making sure she loses any baby weight. Or maybe she just doesn't eat much.
Just meet for coffee/cuppa and take the pressure off.

This made me chortle - though I think that would be nice!

We had friends like this years ago, they’d come over to us with their young children and enjoy a feast of a meal and when we went to theirs there was hardly anything, we ALWAYS had to call off somewhere to feed the kids who were starving on the way home. Never understood the huge difference.

Were they seeded or unseeded? I might manage five unseeded, but would struggle if they were seeded. Unless someone peeled them for me first.

I'd be not be annoyed at being served this as lunch, I'd be concerned about my friend potentially having money problems or an ED.

Is she a 'performance dieter'? By that I mean does she have a weight problem but eats miniscule amounts when she's got company/in public,to give the impression that she hardly eats anything?

I think you might be way over thinking this. She didn’t plan to serve you lunch, it was an impromptu invite to pop over. I’d have done the same not thinking you would expect any more than what I had in the cupboard… which is normally a few slices of bread, biscuits and fruit 😂
Presumably you were only there for an hour or so and perfectly able to feed yourself when you got home? That’s probably what she thought anyway.

We had a whole one as a birthday cake between 8 last week.

I've searched Amazon for a grape peeler - in vain.

This could be the new best gadget.

What a good idea. A birthday cake is such a waste when we only manage half a teaspoon each.

Many years ago I went to a paid for craft class at the tutor's home - 'light lunch' included in the price.

I've truly never been served such a small meal! One small slice of processed ham, half a hard-boiled egg, and what I can only describe as a 'scattering' of salad which consisted of tiny, tiny diced cucumber and tomato, and half a slice of buttered bread. She must have used no more than about three inches of a cucumber and two small tomatoes between four of us, and it was scattered over the plate as though to make it look more.

I swear it was no more than four forkfuls of food!

I agree sounds just like a toddler lunch to me too, does she have an older child OP? She’s probably used to making that for them for lunch.

Maybe she has an eating disorder?

That is an unusually small lunch for sure. But, seriously, if you like the woman, does it matter? When you invite her back, serve your normal amount, and when it's her turn next have a pork pie and a slice of battenburg when you get home to keep you going till your tea.

I’d say I don’t want the crap biscuit, just give me another feckin sandwich woman, I’ve a baby to feed!

I assume she doesn't eat much lunch and is not used to having people over so her attempt at socialising fell a bit flat.

Invite her for lunch and provide a normal lunch but buffet style so she can choose her own portion and doesn't feel pressured.
Then accept one more lunch invitation and if she still doesn't offer a reasonable amount real amount of food, either mention it, say you're going to go home early as you're peckish and need to keep your blood sugar up for breastfeeding, or just don't go back again.