Invited to a sparrow's lunch

[FluentRubyDog]

Having recently had a baby, I made friends with a neighbouring mom. We went together to vote today and she invited me over for lunch. We'll... lesson learned.

The lunch consisted of a kraft cheese slice between 2 slices of bread, crustless and cut in two between us, 5 grapes each, a custard cream and a cup of tea that just about reached middle of a cup to a generous eye.

She's categorically NOT struggling with money. Fridge was in the full view and well stocked. Looking at her you'd never guess she's sparrow minded when it comes to food. We both EBF.

Why then invite me to lunch? I don't even know how to reciprocate without either causing offence or spending 2 hours chatting, starving and trying to breastfeed? Was she trying to get a point across???

Reminds me of my MIL , she was cooking a full English. She asked if I’d like grapefruit. That’s what I got half of a grapefruit.

How can you never encounter Kraft cheese? Are you a Royal?

Never mind just add a streak of brown sauce and it’s practically gourmet 😉

That pp was right, it sounds like a toddler meal! Maybe she’s used to eating that way with an older child (if she has one). I have to say it doesn’t very appetising to me.

🤣

Miserly, but also UPF junk food. Id be annoyed (mainly hangry) and out of there fast to eat properly at home. Then probably feel sorry for her later.

Sounds quite filling. I certainly wouldn't manage another bite until the next morning.

😂

Half a sandwich (plastic cheese or not) is plain insulting.

Being from the US I can tell you the Kraft cheese slices come in various forms. Some are real sliced cheeses and some are the processed cheesefood variety.

Oh gosh I had this experience, I was given one cheese roll (bap or whatever the local variant is) for lunch and a few crisps. I was starving and never went for lunch again hahah

As someone with a lifelong eating disorder, I can confirm that I am also an 'absolutely normal person' with a completely ordinary-looking body, at a normal weight. Easting disorders aren't necessarily indicated by a dangerously underweight or dangerously overweight body. When I attended an eating disorder group therapy, the vast majority of the other people there had entirely unremarkable bodies -- normal BMIs or slightly overweight.

I would probably have overcatered for a lunch guest, and eaten very little myself.

Hmmm . . . I presume you haven't tried the new M&S chocolate covered custard creams? 🤔

Reaches for packet and finds it empty

@Georgethecat1 that sounds like an entirely normal portion.

@FluentRubyDog Did you have a custard cream to yourself or did you have to share that too?

Does anyone reckon that it’s some kind of power game at play when people do shit like this?

I just can’t understand it. Even if I were down on luck I’d not do this; I’d invite for a cup of tea instead.

Years ago, I stayed with a family as part of an exchange visit. Dinner one night was tuna melt toastie - on half a slice of bread! I stockpiled crisps to eat in my room!

Because, those of us who aren't from Edinburgh feed visitors - FEED! It's a sin in the celtic world not to feed people until they roll back out the door.

With apologies to Edinburgh people, I couldn't resist 🍰

🙄🤣

what’s been your experience of Edinburgh people - do tell!

Although it isn't very generous not what I'd normally eat, I'd be ok. It's enough of a snack to tide you over until you get home.

I have a friend that lives to host but isn't very good at it and gets very anxious. There are three of us that meet for lunch. We just eat our sparrow's lunch and compensate for other meals.

I'd rather that than guests expecting to be provided with their daily calories. I have a few of them in my life. I don't mind being generous to nursing mothers obvs.

If you get on well, invite her back to yours and do what you usually do.

If (IF!) you want to invite her back, go for soup. Filling enough for a lunch, but doesn’t look extravagant.

There's a well-known phrase 'you'll have had yer tea' said as a sort of questioning statement, like 'you won't need me to feed you'. Said to visitors in order not to have to cater to them.

I'm Irish. I tend to over-offer visitors food, if anything, but I recognise that other people differ. And I do also recognise that other cultures don't consider under-catering as the worst social sin of all kind. Some cultures keep offering ('Go on! Go on! Go ON!') because they fear someone refusing food is being 'polite', some cultures take a singe refusal at face value and stop offering, because it doesn't occur to them that someone who wanted food wouldn't just say yes.

My mother has on more than one occasion produced a three-course meal for visitors who have politely and truthfully explained that they had just eaten/were on their way to a restaurant. Because she thought they didn't mean it.

She is equally horrified at me saying 'yes' to food on the first offer (because I was hungry) and at a host who offers food and accepts the first 'no'.

My friend would do this when I stated with her, often cheese was replaced with tuna. TBF she was trying to lose weight.

I took extra treats with me to eat in my room. Felt like I was sneaking a midnight feast!😆