Partner didn't drive me to my C-section appointment

[LoopyDays]

He decided he would go to work on the day of my C-section, and decided it would be okay for me to get on 2 buses to go to the hospital with my heavy suitcase, even though I'm walking gingerly at 39 weeks pregnant. He said he'd meet me there once the action starts, (but not a second before, what with the epidural injection, the prep and checks, he doesnt want to see all that) so no emotional support, nor help, not even help with packing from the day/night before. Instead he was hanging out with friends last night til 12midnight.
I decided last minute to get an Uber, £17 to the hospital, and I've taken a screenshot of the fare so he can pay it. I don't see why he couldn't give me a lift instead, and then come back with public transport himself. Am I being unreasonable?

"Partner" seems to be a stretch.

Do you have other support, @LoopyDays family? best friend?

Not to scaremonger, but you're going to need help and care over the next few weeks and it's best to try and get that in place now. Do you have your own money? Can you pay for a doula to help you?

I'm sure you want him to step up but get prepared in case he doesn't.

Good for you?

I think you've spectacularly missed the point...

What’s the fucking point of him?

Honestly, this post has shocked me. I feel sorry that your child is going to have such an awful father. I would actually not put him down on the birth cert if possible. I am afraid you are going to have to accept that you will basically be a single parent. He is not going to put himself out to help either of you.

All i can hope for for op is that once she has given birth an knows what true love is with her baby the bonds which will last a lifetime she will see what she has with this tool she will find the strength to leave.

I just don’t know where to start.

Honestly this post is very upsetting. This is such a huge milestone and he has shown you what he thinks of it.

Please, please reprioritise your life without him OP. He will bring literally nothing to the table. Your child will do better with just you in their life.

I work as a midwife and unfortunately I'm seeing more men like him now. They think they're amusing with their stupid jokes about childbirth etc whilst I'm just standing their despairing for the poor woman and child that's lumbered with them. Do not be that woman.

Please call your mum, sister, friend anyone but him to share this precious day with you. They won't halt the surgery for him to get his lazy arse down there.
Goodluck with everything.

The only thing YABU about is having a baby with this absolute useless, selfish prick. Do not give the baby his surname or put him on the birth certificate.

"Partner" ? He's not your partner. He's the fuckboy that impregnated you.

This - most people would help others. Your dh is wrong. Tell the midwives and nurses. Do you have someone who can help you at home lifting the baby when your scar is healing? If not and in any case get everything in reach for you and take it easy for movement in the first days after the cs.

Wow!

Hope you are holding your lovely baby by now, OP.
Congratulations!

Is this the first abusive thing he has done to you?
He's 'got' you now, you see? You're vulnerable, so he can do whatever the hell he wants. It starts now, unfortunately.

Stick around, sweetheart, you are going to need us.

Please give baby your surname.
This is YOUR child, and you will be doing ALL the work for it, so give baby YOUR surname. Not his, the loser.
Get someone else to give you a ride to the registrar's office. (Shouldn't be a problem, judging by today) If he's not there he can't be on the birth certificate.

Take he is an ex now. Don't put his name on her birth certificate. Good luck op x

My dad dropped my mum off at the nursing home when she was in labour. Didn’t go in the door, didn’t even wait for the midwife to open the door! Said there was no parking but actually he just wanted to get to the pub.

She still talked about it years later, and the marriage just went downhill from there on.

You poor thing. Wish I could be there in real life to hold your hand. No one should go through this alone. If it were me I would be asking him not to come to the birth and moving to my parents after the birth.

I hope everything goes well for you with the delivery and that you have some friends and family who are ready to support you 💐🙏🏾

Can I please introduce you to the Jeremy Kyle show.

Your mind is about to be blown.

@isadren

I had no problems taking public transport to my c section appointment, most healthy women could manage it. DH was dropping off our eldest at nursery so he came along later. I didn't need a heavy suitcase, just a cabin size rucksack with 2 days worth of supplies.

Other than making her feel shit and as if she's making a fuss about nothing, how is this helpful considering that unlike your DH, her partner didn't attend because he was out last night and also doesn't want to be there to support her during the pre-op stage?

How is your experience relevant or similar?

Do you really think a single person here (or in the world) would think you are being unreasonable?

He is an absolute arsehole of a man, the sooner you and your baby get rid the better.

@Allthegoodnamesaregone1 😂 I choose to believe they must be actors!!!!

Wow! I hope you have a good plan for life without the extra stress he brings

You're BU to stay with such a prick.

Good luck

Good luck and take care !!!! This is a major operation, and many avoid acknowledging that. Best case scenario is he'll realise once he gets to the hospital and should apologise.

Someone else mentioned, is there an incoming breakdown on his part/has it begun?

Do you have any time prior to the operation to mention that you feel let down, and need his support from here on out?

I see memes saying "you never forget how you were treated post partum", thought it was sentimental social media crap buuuut yeah, if you're not treated right you won't forget it. Especially if you're also recovering from the c section on top of having the baby.

You need to arrange back up for the next few weeks in case you already know he's not capable. Or tell him to arrange with his mum etc.

I hope we"re all overreacting in the posts, it can taint newborn period when your partner doesn't care for you.

If you're not the type to draw attention to yourself it might help to be more vocal about what you're going through.

I know its easier said than done