Partner didn't drive me to my C-section appointment

[LoopyDays]

He decided he would go to work on the day of my C-section, and decided it would be okay for me to get on 2 buses to go to the hospital with my heavy suitcase, even though I'm walking gingerly at 39 weeks pregnant. He said he'd meet me there once the action starts, (but not a second before, what with the epidural injection, the prep and checks, he doesnt want to see all that) so no emotional support, nor help, not even help with packing from the day/night before. Instead he was hanging out with friends last night til 12midnight.
I decided last minute to get an Uber, £17 to the hospital, and I've taken a screenshot of the fare so he can pay it. I don't see why he couldn't give me a lift instead, and then come back with public transport himself. Am I being unreasonable?

I wouldn't be inviting him in for the section at all if he did that to me.

You don't have to have him there op, why would you want someone who has no respect for you there during such a vulnerable moment?

I'd rather be alone or invite a fucking stranger than him.

He’s going to be an amazing father. I hope you ban him from the hospital, and then your home.

Please leave this absolute cunt! This is disgusting, it's his child and he doesn't even want to be there to support you both, if he is like this now, what will he be like after?

I hope your section goes smoothly and I wish you and your baby well.

Is it reasonable? No.
Is this brand new behaviour? I’m going to have a wild guess that’s also a ‘no’.

If you're reading the responses, I think now would be a good time to give him something to remember for this misdemeanor. Like others say, don't contact him and don't let him in. He needs to know that this is not OK otherwise he will expect you expect even shittier treatment going forward. That's if you plan to carry on in a relationship with him. I hope you have family to support you.

Leave

This is the saddest thing I’ve heard of in a long time for a relationship

go it alone op

Is there someone you can ring to be your birth partner? I probably wouldn't have him there. This is your Chrystal ball of what it's going to be like. He's not going to help you during recovery. You need someone IRL to support you.

@Julyshouldbesunny "" He was THAT cunt who asked for extra stitches in... "" I thought that was an urban myth (of course I believe you) I hope the doctor/ MW slapped him!

Oh dear. Sorry op but it's just going to get worse. Driving you to appts is the "easy" part.

You should be prepared to raise your baby alone.

Do you have family you cab go home with?

He can meet the baby once you are ready

Bes never going to be the man you need him to be.

My god…

That would be the end. What an utter, utter cunt.

This is the reason why there are so many broken families!

So, what did you say when he told you he intended to go to work rather than accompany you to hospital? I assume you told him that you needed him there to support you..?

He's a total douche for doing that but I don't understand why you accepted it... I'd have kicked off at him!

Would suggest you message him now and tell him he needs to get his useless hungover arse over there immediately or you'll take it as a sign he doesn't want to be a parent.

WTF? I’m actually lost for words.

Christ, imagine when the baby is here. You'll be doing it all yourself.

Time to get rid of him.

There is no way I'd be letting him in that room when the c-section was taking place, what an absolute piece of shit.

Good luck when you're back home with the baby because I think you are going to need it.

He must really dislike you - sorry, that sounds horrible, but he doesn't actually sound capable of liking someone enough to give a shit about them.

At best he’ll be a Disney dad, but I think that’s all you’re ever going to get from him.
Hope you’re ok, your c-section and recovery go well and congrats on becoming a mum of course. But you probably have to plan for life as a single parent. You can do it, lots of us have.

I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you deserve.

I would have phoned your PIL and asked them to take you so they can see what a shit of a son they've brought up

Concentrate on bringing your beautiful baby into the world

Good luck

When I first started here on MN I would have thought this was a troll as it would seem so unbelievable that anyone could behave so badly in a relationship. Many, many years on and I'm disillusioned enough to know just how many fucking useless men there are - and how many good ones, there are, too.

If he hasn't tipped you over the edge before, OP, then this has to be the point where your life changes to one without him in it. It's absolutely unacceptable behaviour. He doesn't love you or your child. He won't ever take care of either of you if he can't even take you to hospital for the birth. He will always put himself and his stupid friends first. What kind of friends wouldn't pull him up on this? What use is he going to be when he turns up having been drinking with his mates?

What's your home situation like? Do you live together? Is your home rented or on a mortgage? Do you have any real life support right now?

How delightful for you.

I could have managed it with my first, and even my second child but I couldnt stand for long when pregnant with my third baby. Totally healthy, normal pregnancy.

OP hasn't mentioned childcare to be an issue. Her partner just didn't want to go. I'm sorry you had to take the bus because you had no other option but it looks like OPs boyfriend just could t be bothered. No mention of other children either so this is possibly her first experience of having a baby.

What a cold response.

You have enough strength and courage to get through today OP. I am so sorry you have this added stress I truly am. I just wanted to wrap my arms around you today. Please just focus on you and your baby one day at a time. I am not telling you what to do going forward but you will gain an inner strength from today going forward and in time you will see things more clearly after the upset. You must feel very hurt. I am so so sorry. I will be thinking of you and wish you and your lovely new baby well. x

This man is awful. He's a shit partner and shaping up to be a shit dad. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Please accept whatever offers of help and support you get from friends, colleagues and family... I think you'll need it.

What's strange here is you asking whether this is 'unreasonable' -- of course it isn't. Has he really trained you to this extent to accept nothing? I'd be getting out of this non-relationship and assuming I would be raising this child solo. Best wishes, OP.