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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner didn't drive me to my C-section appointment

423 replies

LoopyDays · 03/07/2024 11:32

He decided he would go to work on the day of my C-section, and decided it would be okay for me to get on 2 buses to go to the hospital with my heavy suitcase, even though I'm walking gingerly at 39 weeks pregnant. He said he'd meet me there once the action starts, (but not a second before, what with the epidural injection, the prep and checks, he doesnt want to see all that) so no emotional support, nor help, not even help with packing from the day/night before. Instead he was hanging out with friends last night til 12midnight.
I decided last minute to get an Uber, £17 to the hospital, and I've taken a screenshot of the fare so he can pay it. I don't see why he couldn't give me a lift instead, and then come back with public transport himself. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
tennesseewhiskey1 · 03/07/2024 12:57

wtf kind of idiot did you end up having a baby with?

Starlight1979 · 03/07/2024 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TheAlchemy · 03/07/2024 12:58

Think very very seriously when you come to register your child about putting this man on the birth certificate.

XiCi · 03/07/2024 12:59

Reading that OP was actually quite upsetting and I'm hoping to God it's not real

Summerhols26 · 03/07/2024 13:00

I’ve name changed as I’m embarrassed by this. Take this as a word of warning. 8 years ago I had twins by C section. On the second day we were going home. My feet were very swollen and I couldn't fit in any footwear I had. I asked my DH if he would leave the luggage down and bring me back a pair of slippers that were in the car. The car was a minutes walk from the hospital front door over a zebra crossing. He refused saying I’d be ok in my bare feet until I got to the car. I walked out of the hospital in my bare feet. Eight years on. Nothing has changed. He’s still a horrible selfish person who I resent very much. That day should have been the end. Don’t be like me.

Despair1 · 03/07/2024 13:02

Lord above, you are not being unreasonable
Wishing you well

Runnerinthenight · 03/07/2024 13:07

I wouldn't contact him at all - get someone else to be with you.

Get rid. He's a loathsome piece of shit.

New2Mumming · 03/07/2024 13:08

Summerhols26 · 03/07/2024 13:00

I’ve name changed as I’m embarrassed by this. Take this as a word of warning. 8 years ago I had twins by C section. On the second day we were going home. My feet were very swollen and I couldn't fit in any footwear I had. I asked my DH if he would leave the luggage down and bring me back a pair of slippers that were in the car. The car was a minutes walk from the hospital front door over a zebra crossing. He refused saying I’d be ok in my bare feet until I got to the car. I walked out of the hospital in my bare feet. Eight years on. Nothing has changed. He’s still a horrible selfish person who I resent very much. That day should have been the end. Don’t be like me.

How does this happen?? How can people (men) do that, and why do we accept it? I'm so sorry. That is really sad. I hope your twins bring you joy. Life isn't what we expected when we started out, right?

Runnerinthenight · 03/07/2024 13:09

CelesteCunningham · 03/07/2024 11:43

YANBU, you know what you need to do. Flowers

@isadren I took a taxi to my c section while DH took DC1 to nursery and followed on with the car. None of that is relevant as it's a decision we made together and the most supportive thing DH could do for me so I knew DD was taken care of. OP's case is different, and I'm sure you can see that.

Well your DH is a POS too.

LazyGewl · 03/07/2024 13:09

If MN gives you a snapshot of the treatment of women in The 21st century then it is a heartbreaking picture. Your partner is a heartless toad. What cruelty he is showing to you and his unborn child.

I am off work today and watching a romcom. Zac Ephron is so nice to Nicole Kidman, who is an older woman to boot. If only romcoms were reality…

Wishing you all the best, Op.

SummerTimeIsTheBest · 03/07/2024 13:11

I’ve got the number for the CMS if you want it.

Epicaricacy · 03/07/2024 13:12

Summerhols26

it's not too late. It might take time to put yourself in a safe financial position, but it's not too late to work towards it. You deserve better.

scarecrow22 · 03/07/2024 13:12

I had a not dissimilar experience to you with my no 2. In retrospect I should have left him/made him leave. He has hurt me, controlled me, been unbelievably selfish, and more. I don't glibly or aggressively say LTB, but go to relationship counselling ASAP when you are over the birth, and if he can't see what he did wrong then I'd put money on you being happier on your own, maybe later finding somebody who will cherish you as you deserve.

For NOW though, I hope baby is safely with us / or the birth goes well. And many, many congratulations: may you share much joy in the years ahead.

Epicaricacy · 03/07/2024 13:14

Runnerinthenight · 03/07/2024 13:09

Well your DH is a POS too.

Show quote history

Why?

There's nothing wrong for parents to decide TOGETHER how to manage other children and transport to hospital. By itself, a taxi to hospital is a complete non-issue.

That's not the problem of the OP!

HcbSS · 03/07/2024 13:14

Have your baby and then make plans for the future OP. This does not bode well but right now you have other priorities.

CelesteCunningham · 03/07/2024 13:16

Runnerinthenight · 03/07/2024 13:09

Well your DH is a POS too.

Show quote history

🤣 don't be ridiculous. I had to be at the hospital at 7:30, nursery opens at 7:30 and they're half an hour apart, please tell me what better plan we (note the we) should have come up with. 🤣

urrrgh46 · 03/07/2024 13:16

My exdh said to me when I rang him to tell him I was going to be induced that day (I was in hospital with pre emclampsia and our first baby) "ring me when something important happens" I should have taken that as a massive red flag (along with all the other red flags I'd ignored) and told him not to bother coming at all!! Instead I stayed a further 22yrs. Don't be me!

BifurBofurBombur · 03/07/2024 13:17

Please leave this cunt. Don't let him pretend to the world that he is a family man. He is not and never will be.

Nn9011 · 03/07/2024 13:18

Behaviour is a language and he is using it to tell you he doesn't love you. I'm very sorry OP, I hope you and bubba are healthy and once you've healed I would start planning your exit because it will only go downhill from here.

PocketfulOfRye · 03/07/2024 13:21

OP I feel so sad for you that you can write all of that and ask if you're being unreasonable. Are you ok? Is your mum in your life and could she support you with your new baby?

Bananawotsit · 03/07/2024 13:22

I’ve clicked the wrong button! You are not being unreasonable.

spicysamosahotcupoftea · 03/07/2024 13:26

Doesn't bode well for the future does it? Does yourself and your child a favour and put him back in the bin.

Good luck with your csection x

QueenBitch666 · 03/07/2024 13:27

Mnetcurious · 03/07/2024 11:38

He’s an absolute selfish pig. Prepare yourself now for zero help with the baby and start planning your future without him. Think very carefully about giving your baby his surname if that’s your intention.

Less of the animal slurs. Pigs don't behave like pieces of shit

QueenBitch666 · 03/07/2024 13:28

You're on your own mate

WickedSerious · 03/07/2024 13:29

isadren · 03/07/2024 11:39

I had no problems taking public transport to my c section appointment, most healthy women could manage it. DH was dropping off our eldest at nursery so he came along later. I didn't need a heavy suitcase, just a cabin size rucksack with 2 days worth of supplies.

Right you are then,close the thread.

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